Do Social Networks Diminish Relationships, or Expand Them?
February 15th, 2011
While social networks have been criticized for their “quantity over quality” affect on relationships, they may play a different role for those who struggle with shyness or social anxiety. An increasing number of therapists and counselors see Facebook and other networks as an opportunity to “get the ball rolling,” therapist Jonathan Dalton recently told the Washington Post. Initial small talk about shared interests and activities is a bridge to more personal conversations and bonding, but small talk can be nerve-wracking for people facing social anxiety. But if those initial conversations happen online, where distance provides a buffer, a person may overcome his or her fears and be better able to explore more personal conversations—in real life—within friendships initiated online.
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They diminish them. Everyone gets so caught up with status changes and things like that that they forget about the real live relationships that they have that need to be taken care of. It is a shame that they let those living people suffer while they continue to live out some kind of fantasy online.
This may set the ball rolling-that’s right.But it should not become all that is done in therapy.Real world conversations are an important part if we are trying to help someone overcome their anxiety.I say this because I have seen quite a few people who are very fluent online but when it comes to face toface conversations try are just not as good.
There is no better way to develop and grow a relationship when you may otherwise be shy by nature than by using social networking sites. This is a great way to get to know someone without feeling the pressure that a face to face meeting can bring. I do hate it when people seem to get kind of addicted to it, but if they can grow and nurture something meaningful online then I see no problem with that at all.
Well on social networks you can also get a feel for how much an individual supports or opposes certain things even when they aren’t blatant about their preferences. If their ideals conflict with yours it’s not going to help your social anxiety but there is that distance there that makes it easy to walk away. However you can also strike gold and find a likeminded group. Safety in numbers may make you feel better rather than handling one-to-one conversations if you’re at all nervous.
Different users of the social networking scene get different things from them. What may be good for some may be a detriment to others. To judge it all with one fell swoop is not the best idea.
If you’ve never experienced social anxiety, you can’t appreciate how hard it is to overcome. My husband used to go sit in McDonald’s as part of his treatment just to get used to interacting with and being among people. The act of going up to the counter and ordering food, then sitting in a busy diner, was very hard for him. It took all his strength not to have a panic attack and get up and run out that door, but he did it and kept doing it until it got easier and easier. I’m very proud of him.
I really don’t see how the social networks can expand them more than normal socializing to be honest. Because of the anonymity of the net, some behave downright horribly towards other people that would never do so in real life situations. The only place I think would be good would be an online social anxiety support group.
Some people can be too clingy though I find. Three of the people I’ve blocked were blocked because they updated me on everything from their stupid Farmville game to their faves on YouTube. They also sent me spam because they don’t know anything about internet safety. Then they wonder why I block them! You need to be careful about who you meet and when they do extend the hand of friendship not be overeager in your manner.
Friend who know me online know things that would make me jump off the nearest skyscraper if someone I knew in my everyday life heard half of it. I confide in them more. The anonymity can help get more relationships going for as long as you want that. I think it’s liberating to have that option.
@Calvin- I couldn’t agree more. If I was stuck talking on Twitter or commenting on Facebook all the time I’d probably forget how to use my tongue outside of tasting my food. You can’t expect to have your social life revolve around Twitter and Facebook. I guess it’s a stepping stone more than anything.
Nobody’s talking about that happening. It’s not a case of either/or. It’s being used as a tool for dipping their toes in the water. I think it’s a very good idea actually. You can step away from the desk if you’re uncomfortable whenever you want to. That’s not so easy to do in the middle of a real conversation.
I agree it is a good stepping stone, but the danger is getting stuck on that stepping stone. True it moves the person a step closer to real life social interactions but it may leave them complacent, thinking where they are is “OK” and they won’t push themselves forward. If they have no social interaction, there is always the feeling that their situation is not OK, and that may be what pushes them forwards.
I’m on the fence, I can see the benefits, but it’s important they’re not left “stuck” in the cyber/social media world.
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