Comments on: Shame

By: Doc Wagner

Doc Wagner — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 16:21:34 +0000

Actually, there is a common and accepted notion of “healthy shame” within psychotherapy. Unhealthy shame often occurs in the form of chronic self-criticism and leads to the felt-sense of shame or badness. Healthy shame occurs when a person recognizes they have caused harm, becomes conscious of their effect on the world, feels empathy and remorse, makes amends, and changes their behavior.

By: Thomas Matthews

Thomas Matthews — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 04:29:42 +0000

Someone ought to investigate “Dr.” Austin. Her website SimplyDivineSolutions.com doesn’t give any information about where she earned any of her degrees. When I asked, she said she received her Ph.D. in life coaching online, but wouldn’t say from where. She offered no information about where she received her Bachelor’s or Master’s degrees. One wonders if she has any degrees at all! Most real therapists would recognize that a certain amount of “guilt” can be healthy, however, shame is not healthy.

By: Erica

Erica — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:42:02 +0000

Basically, the 12 steps would look like any other 12 step program. If you are trying to overcome shame, you would just substitute “shame” for “alcoholism” or whatever ailment you are trying to overcome.

By: SALLY

SALLY — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:41:04 +0000

I have never thought of using the 12 steps as a way of helping someone move past shame. What would this sort of technique look like?

By: James

James — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:40:06 +0000

I was particularly pleased to see the end of this blog. Not because I didn’t enjoy the entry, but b/c I feel that the heart of getting past shame lies in “giving back.” When a person filled with shame helps others, they inevitably begin to feel better about themselves. With increased self esteem comes decreased feelings of shame.

By: micah

micah — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:38:34 +0000

I appreciated the message of this blog entry as well as its style. Very nice writing! But, I digress! The issue of shame is one that I’ve found to be very vicious in nature. It seems that shame begets shame and that if the cycle isn’t broken, a person can end up living a life of constant second guessing. Thinking gets twisted and the person with so much shame ends up being paralyzed and unable to make a decision as to whether a course of action is truly beneficial to him or her. In fact, just thinking about whether a decision is beneficial to the self is often very overwhelming to a person who acts from a place of shame. I am glad to know that there are professionals out there who truly understand the impact shame has as well as appropriate therapies that can help a client move past his or her shame.