Comments on: Time to Talk About Sex and Chronic Illness

By: Tammy Dent

Tammy Dent — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 00:12:13 +0000

Couples get out the habit of small demonstrations of affection, especially as they get older, and it’s sad. My girl friends often comment on how their husbands don’t even take their hands anymore when they are out and how loving mine is towards me. Just because we’re middle aged doesn’t mean we need to stop.

By: Adrienne Rice

Adrienne Rice — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 06:19:38 +0000

There’s so much more to a great marriage than sex alone. And I hate the word sex. It’s cold and doesn’t reflect what it should be about: making love is a more fitting description. When sex isn’t an expression of love but sex for sex’s sake, it’s never that good.

Although we make love less frequently now because my husband’s illness leaves him physically and mentally exhausted, I don’t mind a bit because he shows me in other ways he still loves me with little touches like holding my hand or always kissing me first thing in the morning and last thing at night every day.

By: D.M.

D.M. — Wed, 10 Aug 2011 05:22:12 +0000

Whenever my husband is within arm’s length of me he always reaches out and touches my arm or my back or something, usually unconsciously while he’s talking. I can be standing at the stove making dinner and he’ll come by and give me a quick cuddle as he’s passing. That means the world to me.

By: Case

Case — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 11:42:50 +0000

I am sorry, I know that sex can be wonderfully healing, but I have had friends who have gone through chemo pr whatever and I can tell you that none of them ever looked up to having that kind of intimacy while going through this. This is something that is ravaging your body on the inside and out, and probably the last thing that you feel like doing is getting all warm and cuddly with someone. I know that sex is important in a relationship but there are other ways to bond when going through a terrible illness.

By: darlene phelps

darlene phelps — Mon, 08 Aug 2011 02:16:40 +0000

Massage is a wonderful way of keeping that feeling of connection going when either of you is experiencing a lack of libido or just too tired. I agree that touch can be more important than sex. We all want to feel desired and to share intimate moments. I can enjoy a good massage more than sex sometimes because it relaxes me.

By: ross

ross — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 16:12:22 +0000

dont know anybody with chronic illness but then for those with it-even the folks without any chronic illness have lows in their sex life,it’s my like it’s perfect for us either,everybody has highs and lows in their sex life.so enjoy your in whatever way you can! :)

By: j anderson

j anderson — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 01:54:03 +0000

if an illness is not letting you enjoy your sex life to the fullest,dies it mean the relationship should suffer?!no.it means you need to find other ways to keep each other bonded and connected.and the author gives a very good technique in the post.thank you for the post.

By: Lynne Silva-Breen, LMFT

Lynne Silva-Breen, LMFT — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 00:34:25 +0000

Awesome post Helena! I wish every couple in marriage therapy could appreciate the truth of everything you said.

By: Susanne

Susanne — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 21:32:37 +0000

Funny how when something is good it can lead to so many other good things in life. But when something like the sex in a marriage is bad that seems to be the only thing that the couple can harp on and then it is sure to break everything down even worse. I am not sying that sex has to be the core of a marriage, but good sex never hurts in the way that bad sex does.