Comments on: Self-Esteem and the Myth of Not Needing Others

By: Nathaniel

Nathaniel — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 02:51:56 +0000

A little quiet contemplation time is healthy but complete isolation? Making yourself into an island doesn’t improve your self-esteem. It lets you hide from any possibility that it will be challenged. You’d learn nothing about life by resorting to self-imposed solitary confinement.

By: michelle

michelle — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:51:42 +0000

Not needing anybody else is surely a wrong idea to carry. No matter how arrogant or confident a person acts, deep down inside he knows that he cannot be all by himself… everybody needs encouragement and feedback.

By: dale

dale — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 11:47:54 +0000

Having healthy self esteem and being arrogant are two totally different things. People with high self esteem do care what others have to say about them, it just may not always affect them in a negative way or they will find a way to learn from it instead of turning it into something bad. Those who are egotistical though just don’t care at all.

By: Denise

Denise — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:47:44 +0000

a lil pat on the shoulder is a habit we give away!! Encouragement is a 2 way street. It makes us feel good that we did a better thing and it does magic for the person needing it.

By: Nick S

Nick S — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 10:17:25 +0000

Self-esteem is good but not in an excess. When it is too high, we would not even listen to suggestions and would treat anybody’s view-point as nothing to take note of and even positive-criticism may anger us. Each one of us needs to learn to listen to feedback given by others.

By: Nathan Bracken

Nathan Bracken — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 09:57:36 +0000

Well, it is true that whether a person has a high self-esteem or not, he does think of what others think of his talks or actions, the difference is just that someone with a high self-esteem is confident enough of his talks or actions and is convinced that he could not be wrong in what he says or does.

By: Philip

Philip — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:07:14 +0000

Every word that escaped my father’s mouth was either foul or negative. If it wasn’t my mother, it was me or a sibling that was getting a roasting or a slap. When he couldn’t find anything to complain about that we did, it would be the house or the yard or the shed that wasn’t right and it was all our fault. Rinse, lather, repeat. He never ever said “Well done” or “Good job” to any of us. I’ve worked hard to not hear his voice in my head berating me for the rest of my life and am getting there. He’s not going to break me.

By: Martha T.

Martha T. — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 02:00:48 +0000

Defeating negative self talk is so so hard! I’m very guilty of that and watch for signs that I’m disliked instead of liked. And if they tell me they like me, I think “Why would they like me?”. It’s silly. Even I know I have years of hard work in therapy ahead to improve my self-esteem. I guess I’ve never quite grown out of being that chubby little girl. I will someday. Thanks for a good article and also the information gathering technique.

By: Victoria L.

Victoria L. — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:15:42 +0000

Good article. Thank you Tina! I’ve thought before that very confident people (is there such a thing as being too confident?) are arrogant, egotistical and self centered. What they called high self esteem I called selfish and not taking responsibility for hurting people. I can see the difference now.

By: Yolanda

Yolanda — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:24:01 +0000

When you ask the questions, you also need to be prepared to deal with the answers. If you say “You seem irritated. Have I offended you?” and they say yes, a less than confident person might fall apart at having to deal with that. Checking in is a good thing and it’s smart to be ready to respond appropriately.