Comments

• Dr. Darrel Drumright March 26th, 2007 at 5:19 AM #1

  Another very important part of good therapy is the concept of wholeness. This concept states that there is not distinct separation of the human mind, body or spirit. Any imbalance in the being will manifest in all three aspects of the person and a therapist should recognize the initial imbalancing insult could be in any of the three areas. Further, the presenting symptoms may be only compensation issues, if treated alone will never stablilize the person. You must get to know the person to discover the underlying causative imbalance.

  DrD

• Therapist Andover March 26th, 2007 at 12:09 PM #2

  A therapist should be licensed and subject to a Code of Ethics in h/her field. The therapist should be current in her field, that is h/she does on-going training regularly each year. Also, a consumer should ask about credentials and certification in the therapy models used by the therapist. For example, many therapist say they do EMDR but they are not certified. Rather they only took Level I and II training that provides simply the basics for the model. Patti Desert in Baltimore, MD

• Noah March 26th, 2007 at 7:16 PM #3

  Thanks you two for suggestion your ideas to add to the elements of good therapy. Keep ‘em coming! Noah :)

• Dr Bob Rich April 15th, 2007 at 12:49 AM #4

  I would go beyond your principles of non-pathologizing to state that a person never IS a problem. A person HAS problem. This is inherently empowering, in that a problem can be worked on, a habit can be changed, while a faulty person is presumably unfixable.

• Therapist Auburn April 15th, 2007 at 6:35 AM #5

  Seeing one’s patient as a whole person, in all his/her complexity, and partnering with this person so that he/she can tend to her own wounds and set in motion the self-healing process is a philosophy of therapy I embrace. Allowing one to “be” who one “is” in the presence of another is a gift but also a birthright. A good enough therapist, just like a good enough parent, can help right the wrongs, and help heal the wounds of such early losses. I believe it is in the relationship (as close to I-thou as a therapy might allow) that catalpults a person into the realm of healthy, wholesome and soulful living.

• Greg Miller June 19th, 2007 at 12:02 PM #6

  Eclectic

• Therapist Box Hill July 23rd, 2007 at 6:32 AM #7

  My book THE SYMPTOM IS NOT THE WHOLE STORY (Other Press, 2006)stresses the current obsession with relieving the symptom without finding out the roots of it. Agree: insight does not cure anything BUT without insight the patient is treated like a robot. Intellectual cloning is what those who oppose human cloning want (ask W, if in doubt). We, in the psychodynamic tradition, want the client to know why she or he is suffering, so s/he can correct whatever is the cause of the “dis-order.” Without this, the patient is not in control and does not become empowered to run his/her own life. By the way, the new Psychodynamic Diagnostic Manual (PDM), only $35 even thoughn it is a big as a phonebook, opens up a bright perspective balancing the abominable behavioral classification manual or DSM, that is NOT a diagnostic book.

• Myra Reichel July 27th, 2007 at 1:32 AM #8

  A “Good Therapist” seeks support and healing for themselves so that they can be clear to give support to others on their healing journey.

• Matthew Cohen, MA. LMFT August 4th, 2007 at 8:37 AM #9

  Dear Noah,

  I was both heartened and delighted as I read your mission statement to receive an invitation to become a participant in a community of “good therapists”. It is wonderful to discover that there are like-minded therapists out there who understand how crucial it is to go deep with our clients when that is so obviously what’s called for, to really do right by them. I point out to my clients that insight without action isn’t good therapy. It is equally true that in learning to tolerate discomfort for growth by plowing the depths of where we feel emotionally trapped, insights then emerge which make new behavior outside the existing patterns even possible. Inner strength, resourcefulness, and our humanity are discovered in going to where we’re stuck. This is obviously true for therapist and client alike. I find that working this way doesn’t often lend itself to short term therapy. It takes time to create the resonance necessary for therapist and client to sit together and tolerate as collaborative partners that discomfort of not knowing, while waiting for the deeper feeling into, seeing, and avenue for change to be revealed.

  With kindest regards,

  Matthew

• Therapist Cambridge August 30th, 2007 at 9:57 AM #10

  …it is so wonderful to find a community of professionals that is so positively oriented.
  I would like to add that I am a Yoga Therapist because of two basic aspects of wellness ;

  Yogic science encompasses and revolves around the basic principle that all beings are born Whole. In the processes of ‘culturization’, the ‘Self’ can become desensitized by habitual patterns of armoring, abandonment, even poor nutrition. Yoga Therapy provides the tools for ‘reunion’ with that Whole Self via natural means of breath, movement and mindfulness.

  The Whole ‘Self’ is clearly defined by such aspects, as physical, mental, emotional, all of which can be understood and managed . With some information and empowerment towards deepening of relationship through conscious experience, integration of these aspects creates sanity out of chaos.

  My best wishes to all on their Paths. n.b

• Darrel Drumright DC, FASA September 9th, 2007 at 5:25 PM #11

  The Conscious moment is a bubble bounicng through a sea of fleeting perseptions and mostly assumptions. The only true guide to sanity is the rythm of your heart. Always ask yourself, how does this make me feel? Learn to trust your insight, and your outsight will improve tremendously.

  DrD 09-07

• Nancy Stockwell, LCSW September 24th, 2007 at 8:38 PM #12

  I have found the quality of authenticity to be near the top of my list, along with empathy, an open mind, firm grounding, and willingness to suspend judgement. Skills experience, and education help.

• giancarlo marinelli August 27th, 2008 at 4:41 AM #13

  I have similar views about “therapy”, above all about the “self”, and about the importance of relationship, it is the relationship that is true healing. Furthermore: I ‘m philsophical counselor (by Società Italiana di Counseling FIlosofico, and family counselor, and I know the importance of the “depth” in non pathological help-relationship…

• Sara Aharon November 24th, 2008 at 3:08 PM #14

  Hi,
  In addition to everything else that was said, I would like to add another element of Good Therapy: on-going professional development. I have been in the field for 20 years and always seek out new information and knowledge. This offers clients the most state-of-the-art therapy they can get. For example, the recent explosion in neuroscience research has to inform current approaches. It challenges some of the outdated notions about psychotherapy including the idea that good therapy has to involve some sort of catharsis and that exposure therapy is the best modality for conditions associated with trauma and high anxiety. To be effective we have to stay current, seek on-going education/training and offer our clients appropriate options.

• Steve Carter, LMT January 4th, 2009 at 7:32 PM #15

  Good comments, all…

  I’d especially like to vote in favor of safety being added to the list.

  Looking forward to more dialogue…

  Steve

• nancy price February 1st, 2009 at 1:38 PM #16

  Mayny years ago, I read a book about therapy for those who steal. I called the author of the book who lived in MD, I believe. He said that there was one place in Baltimore that conducted this therapy at a local prison and it was very succssful.. Have you ever heard of such a thing??

• Nancy June 4th, 2009 at 8:55 AM #17

  I feel that the article on abandonment misses alot of the issues that people who have had the experience are trying to deal with. I have been trying to understand the condition for years and how it starts and it is quite complex yet simple at the same time. I will describe some of my experiences in case it helps someone else and in case someone can contribute so that I can grow, especially spiritually.
  This is one of the first pieces, that does talk about the relationship between abandonment and codependence which i could not see before but it makes sense as I think that codependents latch onto a person because they do not have a firm foundation within themselves and a strong spiritual connection. I do see how it is that a strong spiritual connection (not religious) will pull someone through, and maybe the only way.
  I come from a divorced background and returned to my mother’s home when I was 20 and was told that I was “special” because I had gone back to help. It just got very twisted up in my mind. I understand that my mother had unhealed abandonment issues from the past. She was abusive when i was young but once dad left she became nice and once there were no children left at home, she became very nice. I went back and became quite dysfunctional. But I believe that my recovery comes from understanding that she had serious abandonment issues of her own which is why she clung to her children, and I also understand that in returning home that it also created some narcisstic traits in me because the message was that I was special because I went back to help. But I am not special, I am only human.
  I believe that recovery comes from detaching and having compassion for dealing with her own abandonment issues and I have to deal with mine. I think it also comes from somehow making connections with our own peer group because in becoming best friends to our parents, which we are not supposed to do, we become separate from our peers which is a very isolating experience and nothing is more important than that..
  I think there are also some self-forgiveness issues involved here as I made the choice to ‘go back” instead of stay on the spiritual track and the spiritual path is the most important one.
  You can’t help anyone else until you learn to take care of yourself. My job is to find my own wholeness, to be well. Detachment does not mean that I do not care, it means that I understand and have compassion. But the goal has to be to grow along spiritual lines. That has to be the most important thing while remembering the lessons about self care.
  Life is about being human, not special. I think I understand more that it is in our humanness that we become ‘special.”

• Joseph CLoidt June 26th, 2009 at 8:15 AM #18

  Love the site and concept.

• ben October 1st, 2009 at 6:23 AM #19

  A good therapist should go beyond magical words and also have an adult relationship with the client. Of two equals working together. As part of this professional relationship the therapist should encourage the client to try several therapists before coming to a decision, and should be wary themselves of whether the relationship is benefiting the client. It is also their responsibility to be able to do their job, that means following a good method of therapy, rather than an ineffective one.

  When someone goes to a therapist they make themselves more vulnerable than if seeing a doctor or plumber – the therapist has to be more responsible then either of those, not taking on or keeping clients purely because they would like the money, not encouraging clients to become reliant or repeating past relationships with them.

• Jen December 13th, 2009 at 5:11 PM #20

  A good therapist strives to increase their cultural competence, especially when in practice in a diverse community (I’m in NYC, and it doesn’t get much more diverse than that). A good therapist recognizes that their world view and life view is but one of an infinite variety of ways of seeing and being in the world. A good therapist shows respect and curiosity about people of all ages, races, sexual orientations, ethnicities, religions (or lack thereof), political orientations, socio-economic backgrounds, etc. Broadening one’s view of the world broadens one’s ability to help and be of service to others.
  Related to this, a good therapist has the humility to acknowledge what one doesn’t know or understand, and to seek to improve their understanding.

• Heather September 23rd, 2010 at 1:11 PM #21

  These techniques are good but I don’t agree with the way it has been written. There is too much emphasis here on reasons why something unpleasant in therapy happens, and the blame game begins, which I think should be taken out of the context completely. It not useful to the discussion of positive therapy and is too complex to give it any justice.

• Nancy September 23rd, 2010 at 5:19 PM #22

  I agree Heather. The blame game doesn’t solve anything…just keeps the problem going when the goal is to be happy, healthy functioning human beings.

• admin February 1st, 2011 at 3:17 PM #23

  Hello fellow therapists,
  Big thanks to all of you for contributing your ideas to this topic which is near and dear to my heart. We’ll soon be updating the elements of healthy therapy statement and incorporating some of the important ideas you’ve shared.

  thanks and smiles to you,
  Noah :)

• mithell geis March 27th, 2011 at 10:36 AM #24

  good therapy should have a beginning, middle and end.
  good therapy should also have goals

• Darlene Kirtley May 27th, 2011 at 2:08 PM #25

  Good therapy is creative! A good therapist knows that when it comes to therapy, “one size does not fit all.” S/he has several ideas for techniques, homework assignments, metaphors used, and can adapt to the individual needs of each client and their unique situation.

• Lucille July 19th, 2011 at 2:08 PM #26

  Although it is ideal for therapy to go deep, I think it is a mistake to say that CBT alone is not good therapy. In order to really respect our clients we also have to respect that they don’t always want to go deep and that seeking symptom reduction is a valid choice even if it is not the choice we would make in thier place. Putting our own values of depth onto clients is unfair. So, I believe that Good Therapy involves using practices and techniques that meet our clients current needs and goals whether it be deep or not.

• Justin February 16th, 2012 at 10:06 AM #27

  I agree with various posters that one size does not fit all. There are so many ways to heal. Self discover was essential to me in my healing. Along with therapy and the book Unchain The Pain: How to be your own Therapist I was able to conquer blaming everyone else for my problems. Of course there are the clinically ill and that is a different therapy.
  We all have joy and it’s just a matter of time before we are able to find it.

• dave odaniel March 10th, 2012 at 11:32 AM #28

  addiction therapy,to me, is more than adressing the addiction, rather, it’s finding motivation and embracing the reasons behind the motivation to stay committed to recovery and recovery activities. This is where the recovery-self stays in front of the addict-self and pulls one forward into the relapse prevention lifestyle plan.

• Charles Westheafer May 29th, 2012 at 3:48 PM #29

  I have published quite a few papers that address exactly what you are trying to present. If I have an email address I can send three of those papers, via that email. I moved back to Australia after training and becoming an Approved Supervisor in The AAMFT, which I have not renewed since it is not recognized in Australia. I am still eligible to be a clinician.
  Charles Westheafer

• Missn May 30th, 2012 at 12:57 PM #30

  I think it is important for the client to remember that the therapist is not God and maybe it is also important for the therapist to explain that to the client who doesn’t know.

• heather December 13th, 2012 at 9:16 PM #31

  I’m not sure how to phrase this but I am sure you will know what I mean. Good therapy is not “too comfortable”. Truly examining and addressing distressing thoughts, emotions and behaviors is not always comfortable. If your therapist is not ever pushing or nudging you to go farther, to think more in depth, to consider a difficult aspect of something or to stop avoiding topics you avoid consistently, then he/she is doing you no favors. They shouldn’t push you hard every session to explore things that are really painful but there should be a balance between following the patient’s lead and bringing up issues the patient is not recognizing or is avoiding.

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