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Marriage Advice from a Never-Married, Never-Divorced Columnist

marriage-advice-never-divorced-columnist-0610137
 

Do you have to experience something firsthand to be an expert at it? According to Sara Wilson, a senior editor at the Huffington Post, absolutely not. Wilson, who has never married or divorced, has held positions as the editor of the divorce section and the wedding section of the Huffington Post. During her tenure, she has read emails and messages from thousands of people involved in marriages and divorces in one way or another. She recently shared her advice on marriage, gathered from a broad array of brides, grooms, spouses, exes, attorneys, financial gurus, and counselors.

Wilson begins with finances. She says that it is imperative that couples discuss how they will handle money before they get married. One of the leading causes of divorce is having money problems. Being clear on this prior to marriage can prevent a lot of arguments during marriage.

Wilson also says that deciding not to work after marriage, for childrearing or other reasons, is okay as long as you have a financial back-up plan if the marriage doesn’t last. And on that note, Wilson says it is okay to enter into a marriage realizing that as much as you may not want divorce to ever become an option, it always should be. Some people just are not compatible and ending a marriage may be the best alternative in certain situations.

Don’t believe what you see when you look at other people’s marriages. Wilson says that nobody’s marriage is perfect, including your own. If you think some people have the ideal marriage, or you believe yours is flawless, you are in denial. Every marriage has its issues and every marriage requires commitment and constant maintenance.

She also recommends looking at marriage through an untraditional lens. Rather than assuming that marriage should look a certain way, consider out-of-the-box arrangements, like having separate bedrooms and other things that may be unique, but good for your relationship. Wilson says, “Bottom line: as long as you’re not hurting anyone, go ahead and design a marriage that works for you.”

Reference:
Wilson, Sara. (2013). Marriage advice: What I’ve learned about marriage from editing Huffington Post Divorce Huffington Post (n.d.): n. pag. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/29/marriage-advice_n_3322385.html

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Comments
  • TREVOR June 10th, 2013 at 9:39 PM #1

    Finances are one thing. It is far better to discuss many other things beforehand. like an agreement or contract, marriage is best planned for beforehand and if anything does go awry you always have a thought out plan to cope with it. Surprises may go good in a mushy way but unpleasant surprises never are!

  • Jason F June 11th, 2013 at 4:21 AM #2

    Now explain to me why I should take marriage advice form someone who has never gone through it? Same as chil rearing advice- I want that to come from someone who has knowns the ins and outs of parenthood, not just read about it or observed others. Give me someone who has been in the trenches.

  • georgia June 12th, 2013 at 4:16 AM #3

    All sounds like pretty good advice to me, whether she has ever been married or not! Common sense kind of guides you (or should) in marriage, and this is what all of her remarks sound like to me

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