Comments on: Internal Family Systems and Multicultural Couple Relationships

By: LaScala

LaScala — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:16:30 +0000

It’s easy to point the finger at your partner and not yourself when there’s trouble. Stop, look and listen. I was taught that growing up for road safety. It’s just as applicable over disagreements. Using all your senses to decide what the true problem is -— right here and right now -— works wonders and is much better than yelling.

By: Paige

Paige — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:51:30 +0000

No one person knows the right way of doing everything. In that position you could learn something by paying attention. How many people have the opportunity to gain an intimate and indepth knowledge of a foreign culture? Not many. Celebrate the differences. Don’t make them burdensome.

By: themuse

themuse — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 04:25:25 +0000

You need to have mutual respect for your partner’s background. I think that’s more important than understanding it. If you can show you respect it even when you don’t get it, that shows love. Isn’t love all about compromise and give and take? Making fun is the worst thing you could do. Make an effort instead and be loving.

By: Terrie

Terrie — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 00:44:11 +0000

Why is this such a problem for some people? What on earth are you afraid of? I for one think that you could only stand to learn new and exciting info about other cultures and that there is nothing to be scared of at all when it comes to being a part of a multicultural relationship. And I completely agree that this is only going to be more and more common as our world tends to become smaller and smaller. It is so easy to have contact with people from all over the world today, and I happen to think that that is a very good thing!

By: KERAN

KERAN — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:58:04 +0000

Well…multicultural marriages are something that are only going to increase with the rapid globalization and mixing of people of different backgrounds. Yes, there are bound to be problems in such a marriage but with the right amount of understanding and good communication, this problem can in fact be turned into an advantage and the marriage can be extremely successful.

By: woody

woody — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:54:27 +0000

Well… I think a multi-cultural marriage would be a very nice thing to do, as it will help us in understanding ourselves better and can even bring the two partners much closer than a same-culture couple because they have a lot of things to share and discover with each other :)

By: Yolanda

Yolanda — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:05:04 +0000

There’s no way of knowing that if he was local whether that would have lasted longer Sugarlove. In my case we at least didn’t prolong the agony. We knew fast we were incompatible once we’d been out three times. We weren’t good together and had no spark. I thought he was exotic. It turned out he was deathly boring. I can get that from my home town boys LOL. ;)

By: Jessi

Jessi — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:22:58 +0000

I was in a multicultural relationship for a very long time yet my boyfreinds family never was really able to accept me. They could never see beyond the fact that I was black and they were white and in their eyes that was not something that they could ever live with on a permanent basis. They were just very closed minded and ultimately the price that was paid for that is that I lost a very dear man and a very special friend. I really do not see how people can still think this way in the 21st century but I had to learn the hard way that they do and nothing that I ever did was going to make them see things any differently.

By: Sugarlove

Sugarlove — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 20:04:04 +0000

Heck, even the differences between being from the North and South in this country can create a chasm between a couple.I had a short term boyfriend that was from the opposite end of the country and we couldn’t find a middle ground. We were just too different.

By: Tabitha

Tabitha — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 19:57:16 +0000

Thank you for sharing such interesting observations Mona! I myself am European and my husband is American. Our ten year relationship has been fraught with difficulties because of how differently we were raised. Life becomes easier as you develop an understanding of each others’ upbringing. We laugh now over those things rather than fight.