Comments on: One Easy Thing You Can Do Today to Improve Your Relationship

By: Tom Linde

Tom Linde — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 14:27:06 +0000

I like this piece and your specific question. It’s a good way shift from being an opponent to an ally who listens.
The “one easy thing” theme is especially useful in marriage, where are emotions get into a tangle such that we lose the mental dexterity to use our usual levels of creativity and empathy.
I too have tried to distill a “just one thing” theme here: http://www.tomlinde.com/faq/my-relationship-is-worn-and-im-tired/.

By: Debs B

Debs B — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:11:56 +0000

Isn’t it amazing to you all and me too that all it takes sometimes for a marriage to survive is to simply talk with your spouse? It is alarming that so many of us have just forgotten how to talk to the one person in the world who surely at one time in our lives we felt knew us better than anyone. What happens? Do we just all get too involved in ourselves, our families, our jobs that we forget to nurture the one relationship that should mean the most to us?

By: Shannon

Shannon — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:24:41 +0000

Well said. But I think couples sometimes give up too early and make too little effort to salvage the marriage. They would just rather walk away than deal with the issues.

By: Libby M

Libby M — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 00:08:24 +0000

It seems we have all lost patience with one another and that can indeed be very frustrating for a relationship. We feel it takes too much time to discover what is going on under the surface and instead focus on all of the wrong things. Perhaps if we all tried to spend a little more quality time with our partners then these types of misunderstandings would not happen. That, as well as open the lines of communication and actually tell him or her what is on our mind rather than keeping it in all of the time.

By: Margo

Margo — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 20:50:43 +0000

It is easy to see how things can snowball in a relationship and then after all is said and done a breakdown over chicken can be the ultimate final straw. Silly but true. We all need to do a better job communicating with our significant others so that the end of a marriage does not boil down to a final argument about what kind of food is served in the home. But this is not always easy and I think that is what gets most people. Marriage is not only a life long committment but a full time job and it has to be worked hard at every day to keep things running smoothly.

By: Austin

Austin — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 23:31:43 +0000

I don’t mean to offend, although some here will probably say I do, I just do not get women sometimes. Why in the heck do you have to get so mad about something simple like boneless chicken?! Give us a break sometimes please!

By: jacknjill

jacknjill — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 16:47:46 +0000

I can definitely see where you are going, Dianne! One thing leads to another so quickly. I’m glad you were able to get some clarification from this post.

By: Dianne

Dianne — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 22:43:20 +0000

lol! I love it! I am totally living the whole chicken thing and didn’t even know it! Thanks for bringing some light into this issue. Now, I’m starting to think more about why those little things he does really get under my skin. So far, I’m coming up w/ this: he thinks that what I do as a stay-at-home mom isn’t important. If it’s not important to him, who in the heck is it important to? So, if this isn’t important, I’m not important right? You can see where this is going…

By: Maggie

Maggie — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 10:29:31 +0000

This article very much sums up what I think many of us see in our practices when we are working with couples. There is an obvious breakdown in communication rather than a situation where the two people do not care about one anohter anymore. That is the sad reality I believe about many relationships which end today. It is not so much that they are no longer in love, it is that they have forgotten how to communicate with each other and how to resolve issues in a non threatening and non confrontational way. That is one of the best things that we as counselors and therapists can give back to them- a way to find one another again amidst the sea of hate and angst they may have been feeling.