Is this just your fantasy of how therapy should be?

Too bad I didn’t find this site years and years ago. I’d almost given up hope that any good therapists even exist.

Good ones are so rare, that I have given up hope of finding one I could afford. Too many abusive therapists. It hurts too much to try to find help. It makes one too vulnerable.

Originally came here looking for how and where to report a crisis center that refuses to help male rape victims, just abuses them, telling them they know of resources to help them, but no matter how much you beg and plead and cry, ask dozens of times, they just ask again “are you sure you want to know this?”

Too bad there is no “do no harm” oath in this profession.

Under the “Concern” drop down menu select “Post Traumatic Stress”

I really need someone to help me through this. Any suggestions?

Thanks

I was then assigned to another male therapist, who from the very first session, asked me such person questions, that I felt incredibly uncomfortable with him. I worked with him for a few sessions and then I realized that it was never going to work for me. The good thing about this clinic is that the director interviewed me to find out why I wanted to switch therapists. He then assigned me to a wonderful female therapist who I worked with for five years. She was very compassionate and she helped me get my life on track. Her therapeutic style was Freudian, which is what I needed then. However, that style would not work for me now.

I recently went to see another therapist who is trained in CBT. Since I am healthier emotionally, and I am also very goal oriented, this was the best type of counseling for me. He was also very caring and compassionate.

I think it is not only important to find the right fit in terms of personality match, it is also important to find the right therapeutic approach based on where you currently are in your life. Then you have the greatest chance of having a positive outcome.

Firstly I agree that it should be made clear what the philosophy and style of the prospective counsellor is along with what they profess to provide by way of process and solutions.

On point 6 above I would add something different here, in that I think that interdependence is what should be taught in life. Sole independence can cause isolation and lack of trust when taken to the extreme, and of course dependence can cause the opposite. For me a healthy balance is when we are taught to develop inner resources holistically, yet interact and learn from others.

Also any therapy that emphasises one domain and denies the holistic context of human beings needs to come with a footnote of caution and a thorough explanation of its strengths and limitations.

In similar vein I think that counsellors should have their own personal development plan which may or may not involve therapy but does involve personal growth

Just my pennies worth

Best wishes
Anita

For example, you could ask a friend who used to be hot tempered where he went for anger management therapy, as you can see the benefits in him.

A little doubt on the part of the patient regarding the integrity and capability will just add additional anxiety to patients and all the therapy efforts will just become a waste of time. Should this be the case, it is better to end the therapy.

I think there has to be a natural kinship, a natural connection. The kind that you ‘feel’ after first meeting. They do say that 70% of our communication is in body language — tone is another important one. And new studies have found that we truly are wired to connect. If a little thing called trust is lacking, there will be no resolution.

I think there is a shift going on now. We need to pay alot more attention to emotions — I.Q has been the leading factor in the past. I.E I’ve got a harvard degree and royal blood, I’m the best there is… But those accolades don’t necessary mean success. A young patient may get better results through talking to a young therapist who has recently graduated from a much lesser university.

We are irrational by nature. I read a book recently called ‘Predictably Irrational’. In you’re interested in the human mind I definitely recommend it to you.

In my experience as an emotion expert, I’ve found that one of the impediments to appropriate mental health care is anxiety for those of us who have anxiety as part of our make up.

This keeps many people from finding any help at all – regardless of quality.

Finding reliable ways to reduce anxiety will allow more people to access quality providers.

My belief is that many of the scientifically-proven tools to turn down the volume on anger, anxiety and depression can be effectively taught via online free anger management courses, web-based anxiety disorder treatment classes, and concrete skills on mitigating depression via the Internet.

I’m currently offering free online anger management classes to men, simply to get the word out there that it’s a manageable challenge. My experience has been that tens of thousands of men are actively using this approach to turn down the volume on negative, destructive emotions and create happier, more successful lives. This has a ripple effect in that it helps the men individually, and everyone with whom they come into contact – spouses, children, coworkers and others.

We must make use of all the resources available to us to ensure high quality care for all. This is one such avenue.

In friendship,

John Schinnerer, Ph.D.
Guide to Self

I know most get paid by the hour and they will take as long as possible. Just a thought.

Am I wrong?

I don’t know if this will help, but when I was 19 and in therapy, my grandfather wrote to my therapist and asked for the same information that you are requesting. (My mom had just died and my dad was an MS invalid and not totally together cognitively). My therapist told me this although I don’t know what he offered in reply to my GF. If you daughter is <18, it seems that you must (absolutely) have the legal right to be kept fully informed and the right to expect regular updates in person if you wish. I can’t imagine it otherwise. As a father of 3 young adults I totally support your insistence on this.

I might mention that years later I did come across a therapist who I felt was truly not competent. In addition to other things, in our 1st (and only) session, I found him aggressive to the point of nearly being verbally abusive. So undoubtedly, there are a few bad therapists out there, which merit caution and follow-up. And I kind of agree with your unstated assessment of concern regarding the therapist’s cautionary words to you. Maybe it was appropriate but only you know if it was or not and I feel that you should listen in part to your own intuition. Plus, your daughter should be able to provide assurance to you that she is at least comfortable with her therapist. I say that from my many years of therapy and 10 or so different therapists I’ve encountered over that time. That is to say, I'm just a patient.

Good luck!

~Very Concerned Mom