Comments on: How to Choose a Counselor or Therapist

By: Steve

Steve — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 22:00:28 +0000

I apologize if this is a duplicate response. I didn’t see my initial one posted.

I don’t know if this will help, but when I was 19 and in therapy, my grandfather wrote to my therapist and asked for the same information that you are requesting. (My mom had just died and my dad was an MS invalid and not totally together cognitively). My therapist told me this although I don’t know what he offered in reply to my GF. If you daughter is <18, it seems that you must (absolutely) have the legal right to be kept fully informed and the right to expect regular updates in person if you wish. I can’t imagine it otherwise. As a father of 3 young adults I totally support your insistence on this.

I might mention that years later I did come across a therapist who I felt was truly not competent. In addition to other things, in our 1st (and only) session, I found him aggressive to the point of nearly being verbally abusive. So undoubtedly, there are a few bad therapists out there, which merit caution and follow-up. And I kind of agree with your unstated assessment of concern regarding the therapist’s cautionary words to you. Maybe it was appropriate but only you know if it was or not and I feel that you should listen in part to your own intuition. Plus, your daughter should be able to provide assurance to you that she is at least comfortable with her therapist. I say that from my many years of therapy and 10 or so different therapists I’ve encountered over that time. That is to say, I'm just a patient.

Good luck!

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:51:37 +0000

First of all, this blog has been very helpful to me as well as many others on your website. I have spent most of my time here, as I find many of my questions are fully addressed. I do, however, have a question regarding the rights and roles of parents of adolescents who are in therapy. My daughter has been going through therapy now three months, and I am beginning to consider moving my daughter to another counselor. I wanted to find out what rights parents have regarding their involvement when their child is in therapy. I feel lost and unsure of our path in therapy. I address concerns about therapeutic methods and still do not know exactly the process of all this. The therapist stated in the very first session that we are not to question our daughter about the therapy sessions, as it is confidential. I understand this factor, to a degree. Yet, it seems that I know nothing of where we are in therapy? When will we know we have fulfilled our goal? How does the counselor/parent-of-client relationship role play out in therapy? I would be glad to speak with someone more in depth about this if you could point me in the right direction. Thank you.

~Very Concerned Mom

By: Norman

Norman — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:52:50 +0000

On finding good therapy: avoid Laurie Agee, Gottman therapist, she has poor ethics. If this is not the right place to review a therpist, could anybody help me find a blog where people can openly talk about good or bad experiences they had with therapist? Thank you, N.

By: Patricia King

Patricia King — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 14:42:14 +0000

This is, without a doubt, the best information I have seen. It is clear, to the point, written in layman’s terms, and thorough. Thank you for making it easy to follow.

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lasik reviews — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 14:55:43 +0000

This is great article about finding good therapist. I think here you write more about from necessity. Thanking you for sharing your knowledge with us.

By: Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT

Stuart A. Kaplowitz, MFT — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:42:40 +0000

This are some wonderful things to look into when finding a counselor. A nice simple overview. Well done!

By: PROUT MAURICE F PHD

PROUT MAURICE F PHD — Fri, 22 May 2009 12:24:59 +0000

Good blog. You have contemplated over every possible trait of a good counselor. A layman could not cross check all these traits on their own. Behavior study can be a great help in this matter. Behavior is the reflection of one’s personality therefore one can check at least the level of encouragement the counselor displays.

By: Maurice Prout

Maurice Prout — Fri, 15 May 2009 04:11:10 +0000

Thanks for this informative blog. You have contemplated over every possible trait of a good counselor. A layman could not cross check all these traits on their own. Behavior study can be a great help in this matter. Behavior is the reflection of one’s personality therefore one can check at least the level of encouragement the counselor displays.

By: sakshi

sakshi — Tue, 12 May 2009 07:54:42 +0000

Great post its quite interesting i enjoy it.

Thanks

By: John

John — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 01:57:41 +0000

This is a great post and one I will share with others. In Chicago, there are many folks who provide therapy services. An article like this helps people to get concrete answers to questions regarding a search for a counselor.

By: Lisa Marie

Lisa Marie — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 17:50:39 +0000

This is a great list. I just recently switched therapists after recognizing that I just wasn’t going to get the type of help I needed, not because she wasn’t a good therapist, but that she just wasn’t informed enough with the specific reason why I was there. You can learn a lot of these things without having a formal interview process… but when you are taking your own life and time in your hands, I can see how important this would be to do quickly!

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 03:30:17 +0000

I’m a plain ‘ole patient. I’ve had 10 therapist over 40 years, off and on (not to worry; I’m fine). Only the 1st time did I interview and the other times I simply chose one and started. One was obviously “bad” and I didn’t return. I left another after ~4 sessions because I felt he was simply too old (~75+,at least for me). I left a 3rd because I didn’t think we were a good match. Interviewing sounds good on paper but I suspect people under stress to the point of seeking therapy, which for most is a decision often postponed, may feel too stressed to shop around. For me, making the decision is a challenge. I wonder if it isn’t just as effective to start and “interview” on the fly, so to speak. Thanks for the site!

By: Abigail

Abigail — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 07:33:51 +0000

I hold an undergrad Psych degree from UK, plus an MA in Acting which I combined in my work over the past 3 years as an educator, learning mentor (using play) and leading creative workshops for wellbeing. I am now wanting to continue my training to become a therapist (a little confused between ‘psychologist’ or ‘Counselor’), maybe even some day a doctor. If I am really serious about it, should I aim for an MA or would a diploma be enough? Can anyone in the profession tell me if there is a big divide between the titles ‘diploma’, ‘MA’, or ‘Doctorate’? Thanks, much appreciated!
(PS I am planning to train in Vancouver, perhaps at the Adler school or Vancouver College of Counselling.. any tips on their reputations also much appreciated!)

By: Patty Ciancarelli

Patty Ciancarelli — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 04:25:15 +0000

I need a lot of help. But I don’t know who to turn to. Is there a therapist who is a catholic? I have maritial and emotional problems. Questions that I can’t find answers to. I don’t know where to turn. If one of you are a therapist who can be honest, who have a catholic upbringing and is compassionate and caring then you are the therapist for me.

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:48:44 +0000

Looking for psychiatrist who is comfortable w/ alternative therapy. Had reaction to topamax which started anxiety and now multiple medication reactions. Don’t want to be “zoned out” the rest of my life! Want my chemistry corrected. Are there any out there in the No. VA area? Thanks!
Kathleen RN MSN

By: S. N.

S. N. — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 06:15:11 +0000

I agree with Doris Jeanette that credentials don’t mean much. A therapist can have credentials out the wahzoo, and still not be a good therapist. I am not sure I favor credentialing rules in states … frankly, there are people with no graduate degree who are very effective therapists and many with Doctorates who are not at all suited for the role. I had excellent therapy as a client with an English professor who had Gestalt training. This was in the 1970s and now someone without a counseling or related degree would not be allowed to do that in that particular state.

By: Therapist King of Prussia

Therapist King of Prussia — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 00:32:16 +0000

I think people obtaining help though therapy is important. Your therapy blog is very informative. I would love to add a link from my therapy site to your therapy site.

By: Therapist Cary

Therapist Cary — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 18:29:19 +0000

It’s one thing to study all the theoretical approaches to effective social work, it’s quite something else to know the nature of the beast by personal experience. Since we can’t all be poor or homeless or or homeless military veteran, for instance, we need to read the chronicles of those who have successfully navigated this difficult terrain. One such resource I’ve found and recommend is: “Down Town: True Tales of Trial and Triumph on the Mean Streets” by the NASNA 2003 Award winning author Robert E. Lipscomb of St. Louis. http://www.eaglesviewpress.com Read this, thank me later. Peace.

By: Garth Mintun, LCSW

Garth Mintun, LCSW — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 00:27:39 +0000

Good article! How about finding out what the therapist’s values are? I often reccomend that people interview therapists to see what there values are and their world view.

Often time’s people go to therapy because they are in intense emotional pain and need assistance in dealing with this. Very seldom are psychotherapists asked about their “world view” and their values, even though this will impact the therapy process. Psychotherapists are people and have biases. The way traditional therapy is set up is with an ‘expert” who has an unequal power relationship with the client. Therapists who are aware of this power relationship can hold their bias in check or continue to work on it. A good therapist will be up front with their biases and ask the client for consultation.

Psychotherapists have a world view. Do they (psychotherapists) see clients as enriching their lives? Does the psychotherapist believe their clients are experts in knowing themselves and what they need? Does the psychotherapist ask the client mid point during the session if they are going in the correct direction of the therapeutic process? Does the psychotherapist see the client as having problems that are external from the person or do they believe that the client “owns their problem”? What does the therapist believe their role in psychotherapy is? What are the psychotherapist’s views on people who are marginalized by normative society? Does the therapist actively try to correct social injustice with marginalized people—how do they respond in the therapy room?

Clients need to interview their therapists to learn more and of course to see if their views are compatible. Therapy sessions work more effectively when open mutuality exists. This allows the therapist and client to acknowledge their human vulnerability, make mistakes and those errors can be understood and repaired.

By: Dr. Erica Goodstone

Dr. Erica Goodstone — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 01:03:15 +0000

Begin by doing a little personal research. Decide why your are seeking counseling at this time, what you main issues or concerns are, what type of therapist might be best for you (style of therapy, male or female, location, etc.). Ask people you know and trust for referrals. Google the words: psychotherapy, one or two words that describe your issue, problem or concern, and the city or state where you live. Do a serious review of the credentials, philosophy and background of each of the therapists that seem to fit your requirements. Send an email to those that interest you. Wait for an email response and then call the one therapist that you feel is appropriate for you. if the therapist you have chosen does not respond to your email or fails to return your phone call, check out another therapist.
Keep seeking until you have a satisfying conversation on the telephone with a therapist that answers your most pertinent questions and “feels” right.