Comments on: How to Cope with an Attitude

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 12:26:10 +0000

Yes, Lindee, I agree with you…meditation is an excellent tool to help any of us maintain a calm state of being. Yvonne, sometimes “short and blunt” says a great deal! I don’t think anyone likes being around people who are struggling with “bad moods”. That’s why we have therapists. Good therapists can help people, who are behaving negatively, work their way through whatever issues they are struggling with. Negative behavior and bad moods are often symptoms of a deeper problem.

By: Yvonne

Yvonne — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 18:31:15 +0000

This may seem short and blunt, but I prefer not to be around negative people unless it’s an absolute have to. I don’t want to be brought down with their bad moods.

By: Lindee

Lindee — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 11:53:01 +0000

To Shivakumar, If you really want to become positive, I believe you have to believe it’s mind over matter. Meditation can do wonders and I know it may seem strange or silly at first, but it really does…It seems to calm one’s self. And being around negative, rude people doesn’t help you to be positive. When you are around negative people, it seems as if their energy rubs off on the people near them. Just practice thinking, acting and doing positive things. If you do these things, I’m sure you will reap the good benefits of it.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 19:27:38 +0000

Wonderful, Trinity! It sounds to me as if you have a naturally positive attitude!

By: Trinity

Trinity — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:21:27 +0000

I know all of us have run into bad attitudes and i had dealt with a person who was always mad at the world. always talked about everyone… i just continued being nice to her, some days i didn’t want to…I usually take things fairly easy, don’t really consider much about how people act… i guess being nice to her over and over, she finally acted a little nicer toward me and not as negative…

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 18:45:16 +0000

Brandi, your are right; often a person is having problems from other sources and we happen along and get the brunt of their attitude. For Shivakumar, all of our feelings give us vital information. It is important to learn how to pay attention to them so that we can learn what we need from them. Being positive all the time is unrealistic. If you get hurt, it is normal and healthy to feel hurt, sad, scared or angry. That feeling gives us information concerning how to avoid being hurt that way again. Being able to perform well involves knowing what we are feeling and doing whatever we need to do to take care of those feelings as soon as we can. Self-awareness, self-understanding and self-care can help us recover from getting hurt so that we can perform again, another time

By: Brandi

Brandi — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 11:16:13 +0000

I think a lot of the bad attitudes comes from issues the person is having to deal with on a daily basis, whether it be at home, work or school. It’s hard not to take it personally if they direct it to you, but we really really need to remember that it is probably coming from somewhere else and that we are more than likely the first person in line of fire when they throw out their attitudes toward us.

By: shivakumar

shivakumar — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 09:10:01 +0000

is there a way that i can change my attitude towards things.to be positive all the time and gain confidence to perform.

By: leajo

leajo — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 20:19:16 +0000

This is such a great article and seems like everyone has to deal with this. No matter where you go, you are gonna run into someone with a bad or neg. attitude… i try to think as if they must be sad people or have nothing better else to do…. I don’t think its personal toward anyone.

By: Natalie

Natalie — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 11:24:34 +0000

Anne Ream has a good point… It wasn’t too long ago I had read a book by a great author who encourages one to if at all possible to eliminate being around negative people and if you can’t, try to use it to your advantage and change your way of thinking…. don’t take it personally, but the bad attitude is stemming from somewhere else and not you directly. Avoiding the negative is not always possible, but you don’t have to act upon that person’s negativity and put yourself in the same position… You have a choice to be positive or negative.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 19:39:28 +0000

Amanda, your are speaking about a reality most people experience. Being around someone whose attitude is difficult, is one of life’s greatest challenges. And the coping skill you are using, trying to avoid being around that person, is healthy. If you cannot avoid them there are several possibilities including, (but not limited to), changing how you perceive that person. It is possible that they have a serious problem which results in their negative attitude. They may be behaving out of their perceived need to defend themselves against some insecurity that you and others cannot know about. So, their attitude may have more to do with their personal problems and little to do with you. If that person’s attitude is affecting other people, too, it is possible that, as a group, you may be able to do something. Many times a person who has an attitude is unaware of how they are affecting others. Self awareness is a vital social skill that many people do not have.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:38:10 +0000

I agree with both Michelle and LauraBelle…the Golden Rule is truely golden! Kindness, compassion, understanding and empathy are so vital, especially as this earth becomes more crowded. And I believe those attributes are healthy, emotionally intelligent relationship skills.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:55:11 +0000

It doesn’t matter where you go or where you work, there is always that one person who gets under your skin, has a terrible attitude and brings one down. I try to stay away from people who are really negative because I don’t want it to affect me or my attitude. I know this can’t always be helped, but the less I have to be around people like this, the better I am.

By: LauraBelle

LauraBelle — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:53:28 +0000

I love Michelle’s way of thinking.. We must treat one as we would want to be treated… What does one have to lose.. I always heard you draw more bees with honey…

By: Michelle

Michelle — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 12:03:56 +0000

Sometimes if you simply to give to another what you wish to receive in return the difference in attitude can be amazing!

By: The Real Gal

The Real Gal — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:00:15 +0000

Thank you for posting this. I quite agree that one cannot change another’s attitude, the other person has to see for themselves and want to change.

By: Jennica

Jennica — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:37:52 +0000

I don’t really think you can change someones bad attitude… you may be able to call them out on it as Melinda had said.. and make them realize what they are doing… we don’t know what is going on with them and their lives.

By: callie

callie — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 18:36:10 +0000

Way to Go April… We really need more parents and adults like you… Bad attitudes can stem from almost anything and you played a positive person that day.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 22:05:00 +0000

Beth, it sounds as if you could use some positive feedback! Do you think you could ask your boss or co-workers for positive feedback? How do you think they might respond? A highly critical environment, full of negative attitudes can undermine the morale of a work environment. It speaks well of you that you are able to keep your chin up and continue to do a good job!

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 21:56:51 +0000

I agree, Hollis, it is breaking the cycle. In this case the cycle of emotional abuse.

By: Beth

Beth — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 14:37:52 +0000

April, your comment gave me a lot of inner strength and hope. I am constantly criticised at work by my boss and colleagues. However, I feel like I need to keep my chin up and carry on doing a good job despite whatever people say.

By: Hollis

Hollis — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 13:08:53 +0000

And that is what is called breaking the cycle because if you had done to him what your mom did to you then he would more than likely be destined to repeat that behavior with his own children.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:37:07 +0000

April, your ability to respond so well to your son is a great example of how an individual can take her own parents mistakes and make sure she responds positively with her own children. This is how humanity grows stronger and healthier. Well done! Kudos!

By: April

April — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 08:45:33 +0000

I remember the day I had a singing competition in school and I went blank halfway through the song. I remember my mom criticised me so much that day that I couldnt compete in anything till I reached college. My son went blank in a debate in school. I watched him get off the stage feeling so small. I decided to take my kid to his favorite restaraunt and treat him like he had won the competition that day. Today he is a very successful language trainer. I am so happy for having the right attitude about his faltering steps.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:24:55 +0000

I agree Melinda, we can call another person’s attention to their attitude. It is helpful if we do this using a kind, even understanding and empathic, approach. Most people are better able to hear, absorb and use another person’s observations when the observer presents his/her comments in a pleasant, or even helpful manner. Then it is up to the person with the attitude to choose if they will change. If the person with the attitude has less power than the observer (is a child or student or employee) they may need some ideas about how they can help themselves change.

By: Anne Ream

Anne Ream — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 20:14:43 +0000

Yes, Gina, I agree with you that the influences from our childhood have an affect on our attitudes. It is wonderful that you have nurtured your self awareness well enough to help yourself be aware of when those deeper influences are affecting your attitude. One gift of age is that deepening self awareness which we can grow.

By: Melinda D

Melinda D — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:15:21 +0000

you can’t always change someone’s attitude but often if you call them on it they will do enough to change it for the time being

By: Gina

Gina — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 10:14:33 +0000

I feel attitudes are also based on the influences in our life in our growing years. Sometimes I’ve found my attitude to someone maybe based on something that comes deeper than my knowledge of that person and I can only think of my roots. We need to grow to a broader view point as we age. As they say, there is no black or white only shades of grey.