Comments on: “Plan” for Your Relationship to Survive and Thrive During the Holidays

By: Joelle

Joelle — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 02:24:56 +0000

This year my biggest challenge is the severe weather! I’ve worried and worried about it and you know what, that changes nothing so I hereby officially quit worrying. My guests will never make it here anyway if the roads are too bad or the airports are closed and if they do, we’ll just make do with what we have and count our blessings for all being safe, sound and together. Merry Christmas and thank you Lori!

By: Florence

Florence — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 18:28:35 +0000

No one can make you let that all slide a little over the holidays, Cassie V.. You need to do that. Couldn’t you give yourself permission to ease up just this once and treat it as an experiment? The sky won’t fall if you choose to take the festivities down a notch and include others more in the preparation side. And it is a choice.

By: Cassie V.

Cassie V. — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 03:26:53 +0000

I’m a control freak and at Christmas that tendency goes into overdrive. How can I not do that? By the time Christmas Day arrives I’m mentally, emotionally and physically drained. Being festive is not easy in that frame of mind.

By: Katie

Katie — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 01:45:00 +0000

We wives fall into the trap of thinking we need to go it alone for everything to work out right. We don’t! What we need to do is drop that perfectionist attitude and remember what the season is all about: sharing, celebration, love and generosity of spirit–not coordinating bows and wrapping paper. Let the kids help wrap gifts and trim the tree. Trust your husband with some of that list. Accept offers of help gladly and with gratitude. You can do it! :)

By: Ross

Ross — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 00:17:17 +0000

I’m not looking forward to Christmas. My partner and I are on the rocks and all that happy families stuff everywhere you turn amplifies that. I can hardly watch TV. Every ad is like another dig in my heart at what great families have that we don’t. I can’t take much more of the good cheer and the ho-ho-ho’s. The best I’m hoping for is to get through those 24 hours without arguments.

By: Judith

Judith — Sat, 11 Dec 2010 02:39:38 +0000

I second that emotion, helena! Stick with reputable retailers and it’s a breeze. Several high street stores offer the same stuff online anyway, so why queue? They also have online only deals and nearly all have free shipping with no min. purchase this year. I’m a big fan!

Thanks Lori for a very good article and particularly the reminder to be consciously loving too. I needed that. :)

By: helena

helena — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 23:10:44 +0000

I’ll share a suggestion that’s been a boon to me this year and last. Online shopping! You don’t have to fight the crowds, it’s all delivered to your door and you can get other family members to help you pick out gifts. I designated my husband and son a few each last year to select and they chose better than I would have.

Do be quick if you want to try it. Delivery dates are getting smaller for Christmas delivery. I can get done in two hours at my desk what would take me twelve if I had to go out and face the long trip to the mall plus the crowds.

By: Nathan

Nathan — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 20:10:56 +0000

I don’t know why women freak out about Christmas. My mother did it, and her mother before her, and when I got married I found my wife was like that too! It’s doesn’t need to be the big deal that you make it. As long as all our loved ones can get together and celebrate, that’s all I care about. I sure don’t need any more socks, ha!

By: Matthew

Matthew — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 18:53:32 +0000

Every year I dread sitting down and writing all those Christmas cards and once I quit procrastinating, I actually enjoy it. I think it’s because I’m doing a mundane task and just sitting on the sofa. It’s less demanding than the bulk of Christmas activities. Christmas stress is what you make it.

By: jacob n

jacob n — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 15:28:19 +0000

you are so right!all the work and interaction with friends and family does not allow us to concentrate on our own selves and our relationship.also the holiday season may trigger off a fight between you and your partner if you both do not agree upon something or if one of you dislikes another’s friend or family visiting you!there is so much that can go wrong in the holiday season!

By: Sally

Sally — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 12:37:23 +0000

If you do not have a strong relationship to begin with then I can easily see how the stresses of the holidays could put a real drain on a couple and drive a wedge between them. But that right there should be the answer. Should we allow the stress that comes around this time of year to even creep into our lives? No. It takes away the very elements that are supposed to make the holidays so wonderful and meaningful and special. People start doing things for the wrong reasons and becomes more about being a show instead of doing the things that it is supposed to be about in the first place. Don’t let stress ruin what is truly the most wonderful time of the year.

By: Glory

Glory — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 06:32:51 +0000

great suggestions, thank you!

By: Oona

Oona — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 05:59:04 +0000

Lori, thanks for sharing. I am a very expressive person and could connect like that twice a day no problem. My husband on the other hand would find that very challenging. Is it better that I go ahead and do it anyway or not at all? He’s uncomfortable with expressing love verbally. I have no doubt he loves me though. :) I just don’t want the connection to feel one-sided.

By: Leo

Leo — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 04:09:34 +0000

I can take a hint. I’d enjoy those Holi-Dates too! I’ll offer to help this year and give my wife a break. Oh, and if she faints, it’s all your fault, Lori. ;) Merry Christmas.

By: kirsty

kirsty — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 03:06:33 +0000

Lori, I really liked your article. The Holi-Dates suggestion is fantastic. I get so embroiled in gift buying and planning I feel I can’t call a moment in December my own! That would be lovely to simply stop and appreciate spending time together.