Good Therapy is Imperfect
October 28th, 2008 |
by Noah Rubinstein, LMFT
Executive Director GoodTherapy.org
The phrase “good therapy” encourages a misconception: the idea that there is such a thing as pure good therapy, a process exempt of any problems or issues. In the same way that a good marriage is not one without problems, but rather one that works through problems – so is good therapy. No therapist is perfect and no therapy can be provided perfectly, no matter how ideal a therapy may be in theory. Even those of us who do the best we can to be conscious of our inner world and attuned to the therapeutic process have aspects we are unaware of, pieces of ourselves unhealed, and mistakes we make. Good therapy is the sum of all the experiences, internal and external, occurring as a result of the imperfect psychotherapy process; and it leads toward self-awareness, growth, and the release of extreme feelings, energies, and beliefs. And what a blessing it is that even the best therapy can be lined with areas of unawareness, mistakes, challenges to the therapeutic relationship, and yet still turn out good…like a marriage. Perhaps we even need a little bad therapy mixed in with all the good? As paradoxical as that sounds, think of the beautiful repairs you and your life partner may have made, the important problems you’ve worked out with friends, and perhaps the repairs you’ve made in therapy with the people you work with. A solid repair improves the connection and deepens the trust. So, cheers to road bumps in therapy, within all relationships, and within ourselves! Read More about ‘Good Therapy, Bad Therapy, & Everything in Between.’
© Copyright 2008 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Schaumburg Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
9 comments so far
With the good comes the bad i suppose. We all think that once you get into therapy things will be picture perfect but that is not usually the case. There are still hills to climb and mountains to overcome but through it all we will persevere!
Every rose has a thorn. Guess i.e the order of life!!! No reason why therapy shouldnt follow suit. Misleading therapy could be bad though. Its ok to have a bad phase but some therapists do not gauge the problem at all and start of with the wrong treatment.
As with everything else in life, you must face the good with the bad. The bad therapy, just as bad relationships, make us who we are today. We learn from the bad experiences and sometimes these bad experiences make us stronger. No one or no certain thing is ever perfect, that’s just the fact of life. I believe that everyone who goes through therapy always benefits from it either consciously or subconsciously.
Life is not just black and white, it is the grey shades in between that make life so interesting. It is human nature to appreciate things that come with lot of effort and the more we strive for something the more we value it. Just like we need to keep working at a marriage to keep it going, similarly we must face challenges and imperfections to emerge stronger.
Imperfections are what make life and veerything that encompasses that just so interesting. How boring that journey would be without them!
Of course it is imperfect- everything in life is. Just take the good with the bad, learn from it, and make the most of what you learn.
I agree that life is not perfect. If it were, then it would be boring and not unique. I believe you have to want help and therapy in order for it to work. I think deep down than many want the help, but don’t want to admit it or be ridiculed about it.
I think that is very true amber. I am still recovering from an accident that has scarred my leg badly. I know I wont admit it and am being very macho about it. It disturbs me whenever someone stares at it on the street if I am in shorts. I went to the supermarket recently and the girl at the till said, “Whateva happened to u” I went bollocks over that at home.
It is refreshing to hear that even therapists can admit that what they do is not always operfect. Of course you always want to provide the very best to your patients and their families but things do not always turn out that way. There are times when something looks so good on paper but tends to fizzle out in reality when it is put into practice. Much of that will have to do with how your doctor/patient relationship develops and then how much work the client or the patient is willing to do on his or her own.Many people do not realize that therapy is more than just simply attending a scheduled appointment every week or so. There are things you need to do in everyday life in order to help you improve and get past things. A therapist is a great place to start but it is certainly not the end all and be all. So when things are imperfect there are many contributing factors.