Comments on: Exposure to Domestic Violence when Young May Lead to Same http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/ Exploring Healthy Psychotherapy Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:06:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Naomi http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24653 Naomi Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:05:47 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24653 My brother is undergoing therapy for subjecting his girlfriend to a lot of domestic violence. I dont blame him coz he's turned that way from watching dad hit mum for years. I guess history repeats itself. My brother is undergoing therapy for subjecting his girlfriend to a lot of domestic violence. I dont blame him coz he’s turned that way from watching dad hit mum for years. I guess history repeats itself.

]]> By: Jerome http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24651 Jerome Tue, 03 Nov 2009 10:02:51 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24651 I dont think exposure to domestic violence makes history repeat itself necessarily. I had a terrible childhood with parents who were junkies and with a very violent dad. I am a father and a husband today and a banker as well. I dont think exposure to domestic violence makes history repeat itself necessarily. I had a terrible childhood with parents who were junkies and with a very violent dad. I am a father and a husband today and a banker as well.

]]> By: Harris B http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24318 Harris B Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:19:19 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24318 Just like certain movies are inappropriate for kids, exposure to domestic violence is also very inappropriate for children. Even if it does not bring out similar behavior from them later in life, it will surely have an effect on their mental well-being, disturbing them mentally. Just like certain movies are inappropriate for kids, exposure to domestic violence is also very inappropriate for children. Even if it does not bring out similar behavior from them later in life, it will surely have an effect on their mental well-being, disturbing them mentally.

]]> By: bret http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24273 bret Tue, 27 Oct 2009 11:58:34 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24273 Just as in everything else, there are two possibilities of such a thing happening or not. Although it cannot be generalized that kids who are exposed to domestic violence WILL indulge in the same later in life, the study says that the probability of such a thing happening goes up if a child is exposed to domestic violence. Just as in everything else, there are two possibilities of such a thing happening or not. Although it cannot be generalized that kids who are exposed to domestic violence WILL indulge in the same later in life, the study says that the probability of such a thing happening goes up if a child is exposed to domestic violence.

]]> By: Meg http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24247 Meg Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:51:00 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24247 What you grow up with is what you know and in many cases what you will tend to seek out as an adult. Did you grow up in a home where you witnessed abuse? Then how do you know what else there is out there? I mean you may know that there are better situations out there but you may either have no way to find those or you may not even think that you are worthy of having a happier or healthier life because you have been beaten down for the majority of yours. It is sad to think that there are kids witnessing horrible home lives right now and will grow up to repeat the same things just because they were never shown or told that they deserve anything better than that. What you grow up with is what you know and in many cases what you will tend to seek out as an adult. Did you grow up in a home where you witnessed abuse? Then how do you know what else there is out there? I mean you may know that there are better situations out there but you may either have no way to find those or you may not even think that you are worthy of having a happier or healthier life because you have been beaten down for the majority of yours. It is sad to think that there are kids witnessing horrible home lives right now and will grow up to repeat the same things just because they were never shown or told that they deserve anything better than that.

]]> By: Rose http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24229 Rose Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:33:15 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24229 Although it may sound convincing, it is not always true that kids who are exposed to domestic violence will do the same having grown up. A right exercise done at the right time may help...something like even a counselling may help to prevent such a negative thing's repeat later in life. Although it may sound convincing, it is not always true that kids who are exposed to domestic violence will do the same having grown up. A right exercise done at the right time may help…something like even a counselling may help to prevent such a negative thing’s repeat later in life.

]]> By: Laura http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24225 Laura Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:08:40 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24225 "clingy behaviors which were frequently cited as catalyzing violent episodes"? Not "verbal abuse which catalyzes violence", not "shouting and confrontational behavior which catalyzes abuse", but "clingy behaviors." Nice victim-blaming there. And don't think the "were frequently cited as" hedging tag gets you out of it. “clingy behaviors which were frequently cited as catalyzing violent episodes”? Not “verbal abuse which catalyzes violence”, not “shouting and confrontational behavior which catalyzes abuse”, but “clingy behaviors.”

Nice victim-blaming there. And don’t think the “were frequently cited as” hedging tag gets you out of it.

]]> By: Mick P http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24212 Mick P Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:00:25 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24212 Any negative thing, when seen by a child, exposes the child to a lot of tension and confusion. It disturbs his mental condition in my opinion, and that exactly is the reason why parents are asked not to fight or use abusive language when their little ones are around. Any negative thing, when seen by a child, exposes the child to a lot of tension and confusion. It disturbs his mental condition in my opinion, and that exactly is the reason why parents are asked not to fight or use abusive language when their little ones are around.

]]> By: John Lee LMHC http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24180 John Lee LMHC Sun, 25 Oct 2009 09:26:16 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24180 History doesn't necessarily make pathology. Many therapists have suggested you have x symptom therefore you must have been abused. The mind will go to work and could make a false memory. However there is evidence that many (not all( men identify with the predatory and of the female will at times identify with the predator. Another variable is people learn how to communicate from their families. Domestic violence is often learned behaviors while at the same time I have seen the opposite! I just had a case where the wife drug her husband in for therapy stating he has a terrible childhood and wanted me to convince him he needs therapy to resolve psychiatric symptoms that aren't showing up yet but she wanted to be ready when they did! In the above case the husband has numerous friends and is very successful at work. He is a loving father and a devoting husband and the problem is his wife was reading too many books. Very similar to reading the side effects of a prescription not all side effects happen. The husband stated that while it is true he did have a horrible childhood he stated that he always accepted that part of him and did not want to repeat the cycle. The husband actually initiated the counseling session as he was becoming frustrated with his wife's expectations of him becoming abusive. I myself grew up in an emotionally abusive environment and was sexually assaulted twice by the age 15. By 17 I simply became tired of it and went to a military school. I did have problems but I did not grow up to become a predator and I did not grow up to become an abusive husband I took the victims stance and buried most of my feelings with drugs and school until age 35. At age 35 I became sober and have been ever since. While there is evidenced supporting the evidence of the relationship between growing up in an abusive home and domestic violence, that isn't always the case John Lee LMHC History doesn’t necessarily make pathology. Many therapists have suggested you have x symptom therefore you must have been abused. The mind will go to work and could make a false memory. However there is evidence that many (not all( men identify with the predatory and of the female will at times identify with the predator.

Another variable is people learn how to communicate from their families. Domestic violence is often learned behaviors while at the same time I have seen the opposite! I just had a case where the wife drug her husband in for therapy stating he has a terrible childhood and wanted me to convince him he needs therapy to resolve psychiatric symptoms that aren’t showing up yet but she wanted to be ready when they did!

In the above case the husband has numerous friends and is very successful at work. He is a loving father and a devoting husband and the problem is his wife was reading too many books. Very similar to reading the side effects of a prescription not all side effects happen.

The husband stated that while it is true he did have a horrible childhood he stated that he always accepted that part of him and did not want to repeat the cycle.

The husband actually initiated the counseling session as he was becoming frustrated with his wife’s expectations of him becoming abusive.

I myself grew up in an emotionally abusive environment and was sexually assaulted twice by the age 15. By 17 I simply became tired of it and went to a military school.

I did have problems but I did not grow up to become a predator and I did not grow up to become an abusive husband I took the victims stance and buried most of my feelings with drugs and school until age 35. At age 35 I became sober and have been ever since.

While there is evidenced supporting the evidence of the relationship between growing up in an abusive home and domestic violence, that isn’t always the case

John Lee LMHC

]]> By: Sarah Jetkins http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/exposure-to-domestic-violence-when-young-may-lead-to-same/#comment-24179 Sarah Jetkins Sun, 25 Oct 2009 09:24:03 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=5476#comment-24179 I have to agree that children exposed to domestic violence experience problems ... maybe immediately or later in life, but their growing-up is riddled with memories of domestic violence, which is no good... I have to agree that children exposed to domestic violence experience problems … maybe immediately or later in life, but their growing-up is riddled with memories of domestic violence, which is no good…

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