Dignity
October 21st, 2008 |
By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.
Years ago, I was working late at my office in social services when two young prostitutes who had just been released from jail knocked on the front door of the building. They were in need or food and clothing. Despite their inquiry, they were somewhat sarcastic and rude. My intuitive feeling was that neither of them was long for this world. They both appeared to be drug addicted and seriously ill.
I got them some both something to eat and then I took them into the storage room to look for some clothes. They both began to choose the clothing they wanted. One of the young women had red hair and when she tried on a blue blouse her blue eyes shone. I told her how pretty she looked in the blouse. Her demeanor instantly changed and I think I knew why. In that moment, I acknowledged her not as a drug addicted prostitute, someone to be thrown away, but as a dignified human being. That lesson has stayed with me throughout the years.
Webster’s dictionary defines dignity as “the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed”. We are all worthy just because we are human beings. When we remind others that they deserve dignity, we remind ourselves as well. We can’t offer a gift to another without reaping at least some of the benefits ourselves.
When I was in charge of social services at a hospital we had a young homeless woman who was admitted in her final stages of cancer. Her medical chart stated that while she was terminal, there would be hope to extend her life if the doctors could stabilize her condition and improve her general health. As soon as she was admitted I went in to speak with her. Despite it all, she was a happy soul. We talked for awhile and it was clear we had a natural connection. She didn’t have any personal belongings and she was desperate to have a change of clothes and especially a watch. As busy as I was, it took me a day and a half to gather needed items for her. When I was ready, I ran up the stairs to her hospital room. I was saddened to find that the room was cleared out and the bed had been made. I knew she hadn’t been moved rooms. The nurses later confirmed to me she had died in the night.
Even though I had worked as fast as I could have, it felt like a lost opportunity. If we can remind others of their innate human dignity and worth at every opportunity, I believe our lives will be truly successful. What could be more important than seizing an opportunity to offer dignity to those who have forgotten their value?
©Copyright 2008 by Jeanine Austin, Ph.D. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry.
Dignity is the most precious possession of any human being. The meaning for human life lies in this one word. Doing a job or being placed in a certain compromising position in life doesnt mean that we lose our respect for people. Its easy accusing anyone while standing in our own shoes. When we wear another pair we will feel the bite as well.
What an uplifting article. This is just the reminder that I needed to remember that it is a wonderful change of pace to point out things that are good about someone rather than always citing their faults.
Christ said “Love your neighbour as yourself”. Irrespective of who and what they are. Even the one with the pesky cat or the husband with the foul mouth or the kids that are all wrong.
When one loses his or her dignity she loses anything about herself that ever made her special. We take away the dignity of others often without realizing what we are doing to their psyche, to their soul, to the very essence of who they are on the inside. There are times when we say hurtful things and do not even realize or accept the amount of damage that we may be inflicting on someone. This is proof that we all do still need love and care from others in order to make it in this world.
Sometimes it is hard to continue to show kindness to those who have lost all sense of dignity and no longer respect themselves and who they are. When they no longer care for themselves it makes it tough to give them all that they need to in essence regain their dignity again.
I love the movie “In pursuit of Happyness” I think that was the most beautiful example of why we do what we do to live a dignified life. If a person has to choose a different path it means life has been very unkind to them.
This is truly a touching story. We all need to remember to treat others as we would want to be treated. People such as the ones in this story, automatically put up a defensive front because they are used to how people treats them. I have found many times if you are nice and respective of a person who is not always a kind soul, they remember that and sometimes you can see a change in them just because you cared enough to go that extra mile.
One’s dignity can totally be destroyed when the society continuously lets you down or treats them badly. I almost feel sorry for these people because I believe it goes back to how they were treated in the past if not in the present.
Lose your dignity lose yourself. Thank goodness there are still those out there who can look beyond what one has become and see who either they once were or might have been and can treat them with kindness and compassion. I hope that if this type of situation ever presents itself to me I will be able to do the same.