Comments on: Deep Change II – Healing Your Relationship with Power Can Transform Your Organization http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/ Exploring Healthy Psychotherapy Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:06:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Sarah http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-18089 Sarah Thu, 21 May 2009 10:41:20 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-18089 I read this and thought that this Sharon was me. My earliest memory of the fear of verbal abuse was with regards to my dad. He could never accept any kind of failure. I used to so fear his criticism so much that I even chose a career path in college which he approved of. I took a job to find my boss was the same way. I took it all till I couldnt take it anymore. Knowing times are tough and its difficult to find a job change, I still chose to kick off my job and I have moved far from my parents. I am back in college doing what I want to do and doing 2 small campus jobs. Its good enough and what makes it worth the while is I am enjoying it for the first time in my life. I read this and thought that this Sharon was me. My earliest memory of the fear of verbal abuse was with regards to my dad. He could never accept any kind of failure. I used to so fear his criticism so much that I even chose a career path in college which he approved of. I took a job to find my boss was the same way. I took it all till I couldnt take it anymore. Knowing times are tough and its difficult to find a job change, I still chose to kick off my job and I have moved far from my parents. I am back in college doing what I want to do and doing 2 small campus jobs. Its good enough and what makes it worth the while is I am enjoying it for the first time in my life.

]]> By: Wilson http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-18049 Wilson Wed, 20 May 2009 13:18:12 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-18049 So what I take from this is that it is not always about the person in charge and how they use their power but it is also a great deal about how we in turn respond to that use of power when it is being used against us? I know that I get very defensive and do not take well to "constructive" criticism or any sort for that matter. I guess I need to screen my bosses more carefully from now on! So what I take from this is that it is not always about the person in charge and how they use their power but it is also a great deal about how we in turn respond to that use of power when it is being used against us? I know that I get very defensive and do not take well to “constructive” criticism or any sort for that matter. I guess I need to screen my bosses more carefully from now on!

]]> By: Jada http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-18033 Jada Wed, 20 May 2009 11:47:25 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-18033 I love the piece Judith posted. Lord knows I've made many mistakes, but I always learn from them. We are human and we are going to make mistakes. That's it. I love the piece Judith posted. Lord knows I’ve made many mistakes, but I always learn from them. We are human and we are going to make mistakes. That’s it.

]]> By: Karianna http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-17997 Karianna Tue, 19 May 2009 13:47:25 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-17997 I literally freeze when I have to be assertive at work. It is just not in me to have to behave like this toward others. I have always been passive and do not like being in a position of leadership at all. I am too afraid of what others will think about me if I have to use some power over them. I know that there is a right way and a wrong way to do it but I think that my discomfort with it leads me to always do it wrong, and then end up having others mad at me. That is what I try to avoid at all costs! I have always been the peacemaker and not like to rock the boat, and at work I am exactly the same way! I literally freeze when I have to be assertive at work. It is just not in me to have to behave like this toward others. I have always been passive and do not like being in a position of leadership at all. I am too afraid of what others will think about me if I have to use some power over them. I know that there is a right way and a wrong way to do it but I think that my discomfort with it leads me to always do it wrong, and then end up having others mad at me. That is what I try to avoid at all costs! I have always been the peacemaker and not like to rock the boat, and at work I am exactly the same way!

]]> By: Judith Barr http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-17953 Judith Barr Sun, 17 May 2009 21:12:59 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-17953 Mistakes, while truly problematic at times, are also part of life. None of us is perfect. None of us. We do need to correct our mistakes. We do need to talk with employees who make mistakes. Sometimes we need to acknowledge that a certain employee isn't a right match for our company. Nevertheless, mistakes are part of life. They are magnificent teachers for us. Teachers about the content -- the task we were doing when we made the mistake. And teachers about ourselves with regard to how we respond. . . both on the inside on a feeling level and on the outside in our actions. Mistakes can help us look at ourselves more deeply, in places we haven't been aware. Mistakes can help us become aware that part of us is driving us in a way we aren't yet conscious of. Mistakes can help us meet something in ourselves we need to heal . . . that we didn't even realize. Mistakes can help us grow beyond what we thought was possible. Mistakes can help us deepen relationships. Mistakes can help us create something new. I remember the first time I made chocolate mousse. While whipping the cream -- the first time I had done that -- I made butter. Though disappointed I would have to go get more whipping cream, I was fascinated that I had made butter. And little did I know that once I learned to create whipped cream, I would make a chocolate mousse that was exquisitely delicious, moreso because I doubled something in the recipe and didn't realize it. I had made a mistake and wouldn't discover that fact for years! May we each look into ourselves earnestly -- without rationalizing, without making excuses, without defending ourselves against the truth of the mirror -- and discover more about ourselves in relation to mistakes. Many blessings in your self-discovery. Judith Mistakes, while truly problematic at times, are also part of life.
None of us is perfect. None of us.

We do need to correct our mistakes. We do need to talk with employees who make mistakes.
Sometimes we need to acknowledge that a certain employee isn’t a right match for our company.

Nevertheless, mistakes are part of life.

They are magnificent teachers for us.
Teachers about the content — the task we were doing when we made the mistake.
And teachers about ourselves with regard to how we respond. . .
both on the inside on a feeling level and on the outside in our actions.
Mistakes can help us look at ourselves more deeply, in places we haven’t been aware.
Mistakes can help us become aware that part of us is driving us in a way we aren’t yet conscious of.
Mistakes can help us meet something in ourselves we need to heal . . . that we didn’t even realize.
Mistakes can help us grow beyond what we thought was possible.
Mistakes can help us deepen relationships.
Mistakes can help us create something new.

I remember the first time I made chocolate mousse.
While whipping the cream — the first time I had done that — I made butter. Though disappointed I would have to go get more whipping cream,
I was fascinated that I had made butter.

And little did I know that once I learned to create whipped cream,
I would make a chocolate mousse that was exquisitely delicious,
moreso because I doubled something in the recipe and didn’t realize it.
I had made a mistake and wouldn’t discover that fact for years!

May we each look into ourselves earnestly –
without rationalizing, without making excuses, without defending ourselves against the truth of the mirror –
and discover more about ourselves in relation to mistakes.

Many blessings in your self-discovery.
Judith

]]> By: Cameron http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-17909 Cameron Fri, 15 May 2009 19:23:47 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-17909 I will admit to being a micromanager who feels like I have no time to let mistakes happen in my company. I think that a good worker will immediately pick up on the things that need to be done to keep an office buzzing and consistent and that he or she will begin to be able to do those things without having to constantly be told. Call that a personality flaw, but I just call it as someone who likes and expects things to be done a certain way. I do not think that I am uncaring or unfeeling, or even that I am a control freak, only that I have very high expectations of my employees and that I anticipate only the best from them. My company has my name on it and everything that they do reflects either poorly or positively on that- I prefer the positive. I will admit to being a micromanager who feels like I have no time to let mistakes happen in my company. I think that a good worker will immediately pick up on the things that need to be done to keep an office buzzing and consistent and that he or she will begin to be able to do those things without having to constantly be told. Call that a personality flaw, but I just call it as someone who likes and expects things to be done a certain way. I do not think that I am uncaring or unfeeling, or even that I am a control freak, only that I have very high expectations of my employees and that I anticipate only the best from them. My company has my name on it and everything that they do reflects either poorly or positively on that- I prefer the positive.

]]> By: Connie http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/deep-change/#comment-17853 Connie Thu, 14 May 2009 10:20:57 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/custom/blog/?p=2149#comment-17853 Amazing how things that happened to us years ago and that we thought we had overcome still do make us the person that we are today. Unfortunately I think that especially in the workplace there are people in charge and coworkers who tune in to this better than we do and seriously take advantage of that. They know if we are short tempered or unable to say no to extra work and they prod us and push our buttons. How sad. Amazing how things that happened to us years ago and that we thought we had overcome still do make us the person that we are today. Unfortunately I think that especially in the workplace there are people in charge and coworkers who tune in to this better than we do and seriously take advantage of that. They know if we are short tempered or unable to say no to extra work and they prod us and push our buttons. How sad.

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