Category: Self-Doubt
The Good Therapy Blog
May 21st, 2012 |
I recently found myself in a multicultural group setting, listening to a young White American woman share some of her concerns. Most of the members of the group were either immigrants or first-generation Americans, hailing from South America, China, and the Middle East. The American was pregnant with her first child, and she was sharing with the group about her difficulties finding a name that both she and her husband could agree on. The Indian gentleman said that in his country, an aunt or cousin names the baby and announces it on the child’s 6th day of life. I rather like that idea, but it... Read More
May 10th, 2012 |
While spring conjures up beautiful images of tulips, crocuses, and daffodils, it is also a yearly reminder to clean one's abode. Historically, when people turned to herbs for most of their medicinal needs, spring was associated with rejuvenating the liver by taking the milk thistle for a couple of weeks, or simply adding dandelion greens to a daily salad. Psychologically, it is an opportunity to do an interior sweep of one's cranium. I'm talking about all those repetitive thoughts that create feelings and catalyze behaviors, some desirable, and some not so welcome.
If you feel stagnant from... Read More
April 23rd, 2012 |
When I am asked about anxiety and where it comes from, I remind people that it is so important to look into one's past to see how past events can play a role as well. Things that may have happened years before can definitely lead to present (and future) issues, as well as leave us to doubt our ability at times ( a la "will I truly be able to manage these new tasks at work," or "will people really be there for me as my relationships have not gone the way I have wanted. I'm not so sure"). This uncertainty can create a great deal of anxiety and doubt.
Psychologist Charles Bentley eloquently describes... Read More
April 13th, 2012 |
Rumination is a common symptom of depression. Individuals with major depressive disorder (MDD) often find themselves obsessing about a particular negative thought or thoughts over and over again. These negative thoughts are usually related to self-perceptions, such as guilt, inadequacy, failure, shame, or self-worthlessness. This behavior of ruminating on negative self-thoughts perpetuates the cycle... Read More
© Copyright 2012 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Fort Collins Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
April 10th, 2012 |
Most of you as clinicians, and likely some among you as prospective clients and curious readers, have heard of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). In a nutshell, this is a psychotherapeutic modality focusing on behaviors that are not helpful in getting one's needs met in relationships and life at large and are often destructive. My sense is that the focus in this form of therapy is not the cognitive component, or core beliefs, that drive these behaviors but rather the behaviors that are negatively impacting a client's life. It is my intention, and my passion and heart's desire as a psychotherapist,... Read More
April 9th, 2012 |
Imagery of pregnancy and motherhood surround us, with expectant mothers holding their bulging bellies and appearing to be filled with love, hope, and anticipation. Other photos of new mothers looking into the face of their child with a certain kind of love and fulfillment associated only with the connection between mother and baby also tell us what we should be expecting in the transition into parenthood. A visibly pregnant woman often becomes the object of projected nostalgia for those whose years with young children have passed. Strangers approach with pressured questioning and statements: “Don’t... Read More
June 20th, 2011 |
Self-esteem is not a thing that’s either high or low that we carry around with us. Nor is it a thing we wear to protect ourselves from pain. Self-esteem is not a thing at all: it’s an action. It’s something we do. We esteem ourselves. What high self-esteem means is that you treat yourself as someone you hold in high esteem; i.e., you act as if you like yourself.
Think about a friend you hold in high esteem. You like that person, don’t you? And because of that, you tend... Read More
June 20th, 2011 |
In January, shortly after the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, I wrote an article called “The Light is Born and then…” and in it we met the fear of darkness that lives within. Today, as we are moving quickly toward the Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, may what you read be perhaps surprising, and hopefully enlightening and healing for you.
So many of us... Read More
June 13th, 2011 |
The far enemy of sympathetic joy is envy, and the near enemy is comparing.”
-From Devotion: A Memoir, by Dani Shapiro, page 199
How many of us go through our days comparing ourselves to others- who’s smarter, prettier, richer, taller, shorter, older, younger, etc. I don’t know about you, but I often catch myself telling myself that I’m doing it better, or worse, than somebody else. Whatever “it” is.
That was part of Ella’s problem. Ella worried; she felt guilty and anxious-... Read More
May 25th, 2011 |
Life in the trenches brings with it fears, burdens, and losses. Times of stress and embattlement may inflict wounds to be long left either ignored or haphazardly bandaged. Sometimes in adolescence the severing of openness with parents is a lonely precursor to endless turf battles in a fight for identity. Left unresolved, the gaping irresolution of this singularly critical bond has the power to play itself out in relationships with lovers and coworkers and children throughout the course of life.
Sometimes when new babies bring with them sleepless nights and endless bondage to the inevitable routine... Read More
May 23rd, 2011 |
You look terrific today. I love what you’re wearing. You have such a nice smile. I like the sound of your voice.
Many people would rather eat a broccoli-flavored Popsicle than be on the receiving end of a compliment. Are you one of them? How did you feel when you read the previous paragraph? Receiving compliments – and also giving them – is hard when self-esteem has been injured. Low self-esteem tells us we’re just plain not good enough. And we imagine that if we can see it, so can everyone else.
If I believe I’m a dull and boring person, I will assume that you agree with me.... Read More
May 3rd, 2011 |
For some people, the answer to the question of, “What does prejudice and discrimination have to with mental health?” is clear, and for others it is not. After all, prejudice and discrimination happen to people from the outside and mental health focuses primarily on what is happening for people on the inside, right? However, as a psychotherapist, I think that understanding the impact of these outside forces on mental health is necessary and important to achieving internal balance and peace of mind.
Imagine that this morning you woke up, and the first thing that came into your head was, “I... Read More
March 2nd, 2011 |
Depression varies from person to person and episode to episode. It not only varies in its degree of intensity and disability, but also in which types and how many symptoms the sufferer experiences. Some people do experience most of the symptoms of depression when they get depressed, but many people experience only one or a few.
It always amazes me how one depressed person can obsess about suicide, but be compassionate, forgiving and non-judgmental about themselves, while another can attack themselves viciously and yet never find any appeal to suicide. Another can feel like they are weighed down... Read More
January 10th, 2011 |
We as humans occupy the odd position of knowing we will die someday, and having no way of knowing how, where or when. This creates a kind of underlying fundamental tension in human existence. It also creates denial, and an urge to try to control things. We are prone to critiquing ourselves and our lives (and often other people), in some sense as a way to manage our anxiety over all of this. If we just know what’s wrong, and can fix it, we’ll be happy, right? And have no regrets when we die. (Probably we are hoping we will never actually die, but that’s another discussion.)
In the beginning... Read More
