By Peggy Gold, MS, NCC, LMHC, Narrative Therapy Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Peggy and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

What’s your “Holiday Story”? For some, it may be about connecting with friends and family, eating hearty meals and treats, singing songs, or getting in touch with one’s spirituality. For others, it may be laced with groans and moans, trepidation, loneliness, frustration, angst, and bouts of depression and anxiety. Often both “stories” can somehow co-exist.

I used to spend quite a bit of time worrying about the holiday season and what it would hold. With increased obligations, people really are in demand this time of year! With so much more on our plate (literally and figuratively) it’s easy to feel overloaded and disconnected from what the holiday season is supposed to mean. Combine that with mandatory or obligatory time spent with relatives or coworkers that may not normally spend time together, and it can be a recipe for STRESS. All of a sudden our holiday stories are about shopping, traveling, running from place to place, and making small talk. They are frenzied and lack depth and feeling. I call this type of story a “thin story” (lacking depth). When life gets taken over with thin stories, we can start to retreat inside ourselves, which only feels worse. It can become a very vicious cycle. Read the rest of this entry

By Joyce A. Thompson, MS, LMFT, Abuse Topic Expert Contributor

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Being a survivor of childhood abuse is hard enough. But when one finds the ‘right’ therapist and begins the recovery process in earnest, it can be even more difficult! It’s critical that you be kind to yourself during this time in your life. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling and not to chastise yourself with ‘should’ and ‘should not’ comments or attitudes towards yourself. Realize that everyone recovers at their own pace; everyone is unique in this process. If you feel sad, allow the tears to come; if you feel angry, allow yourself to vent and spew! If you find yourself feeling happy, don’t feel guilty that you are enjoying the moment. All of this is ‘normal’. Whatever you do, don’t stuff your feelings!

It’s important to take extra good care of yourself during this time. Get the rest and nourishment you need. Don’t take on any more than you can handle and don’t feel guilty if you have to ask others for help. You will tire more easily during this time – both physically and emotionally. If you need to be alone, honor that. If you desire the company and affection of others, seek it out. Do whatever it is that feels right to you. Don’t spend time with others out of guilt. This is a common occurrence that happens between survivors and members of their family-of-origin. If you need that space, honor it! If family-of-origin members (or others) try to make you feel guilty, remember that only you can allow that to happen. It does take strength to stand up for yourself. But as a survivor, you already know that you are strong and you can successfully survive this as well. Read the rest of this entry

By Cindy Ricardo, LMHC, CIRT, Self-Care Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Cindy and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Do you schedule time for yourself on the to do list?

Most people are familiar with making a to do list at the start of the day. Whether the list is in your head or written on a sheet a paper, it’s there and it can provoke anxiety and stress.

Here’s an example of a to do list. See if you can identify the missing element: Read the rest of this entry

By Dana Vince, LMHC, Infidelity Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Dana and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

One of the things I hear most from clients who have experienced infidelity is, “I never thought this would happen in our marriage.” It is not something any couple plans for or thinks will happen to them. But it can and does happen in marriage, but it can be avoided.

There are many reasons affairs happen, but typically it’s at the point when vulnerability meets opportunity. So first is to reduce vulnerability in your marriage. There are two major ways that I am going to talk about in this article. The first is taking care of your marriage, yourself and your spouse. The second is communication. If these two areas are prioritized in the marriage, you reduce your risk of infidelity. Read the rest of this entry

By Debbie Devine, Licensed Professional Counselor

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”Soften your eyes. Relax your face,” I instruct my clients when we are working on deep relaxation in session. And the change is immediate and visible as the lines of tension fall away and a peaceful expression steals over them. When conducting this exercise with a roomful of people, the whole mood of the group changes. You can almost see everyone’s blood pressure go down! For you see, no matter how skillful the face lift, how costly the wrinkle cream, nothing can erase the look of stress, anger, sadness or chronic anxiety from a face when the soul inside is tense and troubled.

Most of us have known people with all the right clothes, makeup, hair, etc. but when they opened their mouth, negativity and anger poured out. How does negativity detract from outer beauty? Bitterness, stress and unresolved hurt often manifest themselves in tense facial muscles especially around the lips and eyes. This leads to fine lines around the lips and wrinkles in the eye area. Read the rest of this entry

A GoodTherapy.org News Headline

A principle component of useful and sound health care, whether working with medicine or with psychotherapy, is that treatment should be voluntary. The choice to leave a hospital is ultimately up to the client, but health professionals may furnish a recommendation. Recently, the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality found that the rate of clients choosing to leave the hospital against the advice of their physician or other healthcare professional has steeply inclined in recent years. Experiencing a rise of almost forty percent, the rate suggests that hospital clients, among them those experiencing mental health difficulties or emergencies, should be given more thorough information and consultation.

© Copyright 2009 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Fort Lauderdale Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

A GoodTherapy.org News Headline

Taking a leisurely stroll at sunset or starting off the day with a brisk walk has often been hailed as a healthy and invigorating way to incorporate exercise into a healthy lifestyle. Increasingly, the benefits of walking and other forms of exercise are being recognized as useful components of the healing process in clients with feelings of depression. Suggesting that the adoption of an exercise regimen –even if it simply consist of enjoying some therapy sessions while taking a quick jaunt out of doors- can have a significant impact on recovery, especially in clients experiencing emotionally-related lethargy and other undesirable symptoms. The growing acknowledgment of these benefits may lead more mental health professionals to take their work on an amble.

© Copyright 2009 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Carlsbad Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

A GoodTherapy.org News Summary

The benefits of being outdoors have often been documented in terms of the healthy effects of sunlight. Despite concerns over too much sun exposure, a reasonable amount of regular sunshine can help boost Vitamin D levels and support a greater mental well-being, leading many mental health professionals to recommend that their clients enjoy more time outdoors. Adding a new dimension to this piece of advice recent research about the potential of soil elements to boost mood are breaking into the mainstream.

Based on original research that introduced cancer patients to a mycobacterium, a naturally occurring and harmless element present in many types of soil around the world. The participants subsequently reported feeling an overall boost in mood and outlook, a result that may not have been expected, but which has prompted a great body of research to date. As the facts and figures recorded in the lab continue to surface, ideas about the evolutionary role of dirt in human existence have sprung forth to support the notion that with our modern aversion to getting dirty and an increasing tendency to stay inside, our modern brain chemistry may be greatly skewed from that of our ancestors’. Read the rest of this entry

© Copyright 2009 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Simi Valley Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

By Joanna Poppink, LMFT

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For the past two nights I’ve been watching Michael Jackson videos on youtube. Here are a few: Beat It, Billy Jean, Thriller, Michael Jackson & Brittany Spears live, From New York Times: great interactive timeline of Michael Jackson’s life.

I’ve always loved his music and his distinctive and electrifying dance moves. But I had never watched his career unfold chronologically before my eyes from first appearance as a dynamic little boy in the Jackson Five to the creative genius behind Thriller and beyond. His “We are the world” raised millions for starving children in Africa.

Yet at a low Michael was 91 pounds on a five 5′11″ frame. Michael Jackson may have been the ultimate “poor little rich boy.” Did he suffer from anorexia? Maybe. If he did, and I don’t know that he did, it gives me a way to think about his life as well as his death.

Anorexia is not a stand alone illness. It is accompanied by and causes many infirmities. In my opinion, the most troublesome is the thinking distortions that develop from brain cell starvation. This can make a person be powerfully resistant to effective treatment, reach unreasonable conclusions about life situations and create painful chaos in relationships. And, of course, starvation affects every organ in the body with catastrophic consequences. If Michael were anorexic he needed careful and nourishing refeeding.

But living in a more substantial body with more mind clarity would bring him into the reality of a world he could influence tremendously but couldn’t live in personally. Body nourishment, while critical, is only the beginning. Read the rest of this entry

A GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Judith Barr, MA, LMHC

Click here to contact Judith and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

We are going through a transformation . . . individually and globally. Many people are scared . . . they haven’t been taught about transformation. They haven’t been taught how to go through it.

Many people are afraid . . . so many things that are part of transformation
trigger feelings from long, long ago, trigger fear from long ago.
The triggering is a guide to the healing.
The feelings from earlier times are the guides to our healing and transforming –
if we learn how to discern them from here and now feelings;
if we learn how to utilize them safely and draw a boundary so we feel them
but don’t act out on them;
if we learn to build our capacity to feel them;
if we follow through and allow ourselves to go through the feelings at the heart
of the wound and out the other side.

Many people are afraid of change . . .
are afraid of the unknown . . .

But we have examples in nature that show us how. Read the rest of this entry