What Have I Done for Me Lately?
All too often, women and some men (in my experience, mostly women) experience the fatigue of “having it all.” More and more women, by choice or necessity, work a full-time job in addition to family and home responsibilities, leaving little, if any, time for them. Likewise, many of us in the helping professions struggle or have struggled with the balance of giving so much emotionally to not only clients, but also family and friends, and find ourselves depleted. In both cases, it is very easy to face burnout.
When discussing work, we often hear the term job burnout, but how often have you... Read More
Toxic friends come in many forms—they can take much more than they add to the friendship; they can be a chronic complainer; they can tear you down—but the bottom line is that when you walk away from time spent with a toxic friend, you probably feel worse for the wear. If you think you might have a toxic friend in your life, take a moment to reflect on how you usually feel after being with this friend; if what you come up with includes words like drained, tired, unmotivated, worthless, or even downright depressed, you quite likely have a toxic friend. While it might be easy to identify the toxic... 
Quick, would you prefer 100 million dollars right now or a penny that that doubles every day for a year? Next question, would you like to be cured of your depression, relationship problems, eating disorder, or addiction immediately or would you like to work on it?
On first glance, the answer to both questions seems obvious. I'll take the $100 million and I want to be cured of my mental illness, marital discord, and alcohol abuse, thank you.
Now do the math. If you take a penny and double it every day you'll have 5 million dollars in the first month. You'll have a billion dollars before the... 
Traumatic experiences along with the mending process can expose the shrapnel from what feels like perpetually open wounds. Time lost to history and recovery, missed opportunities, broken relationships, and a delay in building life’s foundation are side effects of these experiences.
Therapists and clients are able to identify, with ease, what may seem like irreversible damage or pain. However, it is simple to overlook the pieces of our clients’ stories that are peppered with traces of hope and with a certain innocence that runs counter to what many of them have survived. This article will... 
Love is one of the most elemental of emotions—it is a building block to some of our deepest relationships and a component in many of our happiest days. Yet the ability to freely give and receive love is a fragile skill, which traumatic experiences can all too easily dent or damage. Learning how to be loved is a vital part of your healing, and here are a few tips on how to regain your ability to accept someone’s care, concern, and nurture.
The first set of tips have to do with the person who is expressing kindness, care, concern, nurture, attention, aka love to you. Because you have experienced... 
A death, divorce, illness, sudden unemployment, or any major loss, creates chaos in your life. This emotional fracturing, as well as the practical aftershocks of dealing with estates, lawyers, housing, finances, doctors, etc., often yields intense feelings that can be overwhelming.
When you think you simply can’t assimilate another thing, it’s crucial to just stop. Even if you have never meditated, simply sitting or lying down and paying attention to your breath will calm your nervous system and give you the literal breather you need.
Sometimes, it’s too hard to stay still, so take... 
Many people, but primarily young, educated, Western women, struggle to sustain a positive body image—for a multitude of reasons that have been discussed in previous posts. Often a negative body image leads to a poor relationship with the body and other aspects of self. It is associated with impoverished self-care and unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits.
Having a negative body image is related to general low self-esteem and depression or anxiety. Women with poor body image often struggle with boundaries in relationship to self and others. In this post, I will attempt to shed some light on... 
After having worked in a residential treatment facility for abused and neglected girls for 8 years, I observed that the phenomenon of learned helplessness had become an all-to-common denominator for these children. It was very rare that an abused child was placed with us for a single incident of abuse. By the time these children reached our facility, many of them had already been physically or sexually abused numerous times throughout their childhood and adolescence.
Many times these children had been abused not by a single perpetrator but by several different people, including members of their... 
A lot of attention has been paid to postpartum depression, due in part to celebrities such as Brooke Shields, Marie Osmond, and Gwyneth Paltrow helping to destigmatize the most common complication of childbirth. As an advocate, therapist, mother, and survivor of postpartum depression, I am happy that medical communities and the public at large are becoming familiar with perinatal mood/anxiety disorders (PMADs, the clinical term). However, there is still much work to be done.
Most women of childbearing age are not aware of the potential to develop depression or anxiety during pregnancy. A myth... 
Everyone talks about resolutions and starting fresh at the beginning of a new year. It is, in fact, an auspicious time to renew ourselves, symbolically and energetically. A fresh calendar year gives us a sense of hope and new-found control over the course of our life. Who knows what 2012 will bring? We want to be strong, clear-thinking, and psychologically ready to handle every challenge and emotion that comes our way! To meet this goal, I have targeted a few areas where old “stuff” tends to accumulate and I have provided simple steps to help you cleanse and prepare for all that the new year... 
"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
-Sydney J. Harris
Feel any tension this time of year? How do you and your partner handle holiday stress? Does it bring you closer or drive you apart?
You may have more control than you think; but only if you realize that you can take charge. Here are some strategies that will help you get started:
1) Observe your self-talk – Pay attention to the thoughts running through your mind; are they positive or negative? Our perception is the one thing we can always change. When you are feeling stressed, ask yourself, “How can I look at... 
I don’t know about you, but today, unplanned items on my agenda added up to distractions that resulted in an overwhelming urge to tear my hair out. As often happens, I had loaded way more into my schedule than could be accomplished by a reasonable person within a day. It’s now 7:40 pm DST and I’m feeling grateful that the destination for this article is 3 hours behind my time zone; therefore, my missive will officially arrive in time, by sheer luck.
Sound familiar? It is, at least occasionally, for most of us. t’s the result of what I call “being mindless”, a condition caused... 
If Hollywood is an indicator of our most common fantasies, modern Americans want to sleep with their therapists. I am horrified that so many television shows and movies depict romantic relationships between therapists and clients as though they were perfectly normal! The truth is, romance within a therapeutic relationship is as far from normal, acceptable, healthy, and sane as you can possibly get.
The writers of How I Met Your Mother currently have the character Robin dating her previous therapist. The relationship has been rationalized through a serious of cutesy excuses: “Well, we only... 
We have been looking at compassion and how to increase the compassion you have for yourself. The first article in this series looked at the concept of compassion as a whole, the second explored how to recognize your limits and the third focused on how to have tenderheartedness towards your distress. This article focuses on the final part of the definition of compassion, namely the tendency to pull alongside the suffering with a proclivity to alleviate it (the definition of compassion we are using is: a recognition of pain/distress coupled with a tenderheartedness towards the distress and a tendency... 
