Category: Right Use of Power
The Good Therapy Blog
February 7th, 2012 |
How is this a story of triumph and choice from an anonymous inmate in an anonymous prison in an anonymous year? First, the story (as written by the inmate):
"Martin Luther King said, 'The true mark of growth isn't how a man acts when or during times of comfort and happiness, rather how he acts during times of trials and controversy.' I put that to the test last week. On my way to chow the Asst. Chief of Security pulled me aside and searched me. My shoes had a hole in the heel from daily wear. He accused me of using it as a hiding spot for contraband. He told me to go to my room and don't leave... Read More
December 20th, 2011 |
Story: “Once at the end of a first session, my client asked for some “homework” so I suggested she do some journal writing about a habit she had discovered during the session. When she arrived for the next session, she sat down, looked at me, and immediately began almost screaming that she ‘couldn’t trust me…I was just like all the others…she knew this wasn’t going to work…I had a formula that I applied to all my clients…and I wasn’t going to take a personal interest in her…’. ‘My goodness, you certainly have strong feelings!’, I replied. ‘Yes, I do! I just can’t... Read More
November 17th, 2011 |
A while ago I had an interchange with someone that got me thinking. It went like this:
"I had been mistreated for so long that the good parts and the financial security of the job just finally were outweighed by my loss of self-esteem. So, I rehearsed for weeks how to tell my boss I was leaving in a peaceful, non-blaming way. Just that it was time for me to move on. I went into his office and made my rehearsed statement."
"What was his response?"
The woman said, "I couldn't believe it. What a joke! He actually said, 'Are you unhappy? Is there another place in the company... Read More
November 4th, 2011 |
If Hollywood is an indicator of our most common fantasies, modern Americans want to sleep with their therapists. I am horrified that so many television shows and movies depict romantic relationships between therapists and clients as though they were perfectly normal! The truth is, romance within a therapeutic relationship is as far from normal, acceptable, healthy, and sane as you can possibly get.
The writers of How I Met Your Mother currently have the character Robin dating her previous therapist. The relationship has been rationalized through a serious of cutesy excuses: “Well, we only... Read More
October 18th, 2011 |
Forgiveness is often misunderstood. I recall asking a colleague to forgive me for my unskillfulness in handling a situation that affected him. I had made an important decision without consulting him. I was truly sorry. His response to my request for forgiveness, however, surprised me: "If I forgive you, it will be as if it never happened. And it did happen so forgiveness wouldn't be right." Forgiveness, in fact, is a very deep feeling of reverence for life and willingness to somehow let go of past hurt. It does not require forgetting or condoning or even reconciling, as my colleague imagined... Read More
August 23rd, 2011 |
Let's say you have an interest in power issues and dynamics. For example, you notice you are overly cautious in using the professional power that goes with your position of trust. Or, you are so well-boundaried that you can't be flexible with your power when it is appropriate. These two beliefs are toward the extreme on the "use of power continuum." Holding any position that is extreme makes you extra vulnerable for making ethical mistakes. Right Use of Power calls us to examine... Read More
July 7th, 2011 |
"When trust and confidence--at both the personal and institutional levels--are high, democracy works better, the economy develops with fewer problems, interpersonal relations are easier and more straightforward, people behave more altruistically, and standards of living increase."
-Aitor Riveiro: The costs of a skeptical society, June 21, 2011: El Pais reporting on results of several pieces of sociological research.
This may not be a surprising conclusion, but I find the idea that... Read More
May 6th, 2011 |
I enjoy reading the responses to my articles. Responses to the most recent one of Feedback: The Single Most Important Skill, focused on the complexity of giving and receiving feedback. I want to now add a few comments to those responses. Here are some challenges I have named related to using feedback.
A. A Fear of causing pain or disregard for causing pain
"D" says, "someone may have done a very bad job and you could be furious with him or her, or you may be a frank person, but this does not entitle you to shout at the person... Read More
April 12th, 2011 |
A GoodTherapy.org Announcement
Are you interested in the topic of bullying? Worried about how bullying is affecting you or your kids? Wondering what can be done about bullying? This Friday, April 15th at 4:00 p.m. Pacific (7:00 p.m. Eastern), GoodTherapy.org will be hosting There's a Bully in All of Us presented by Judith Barr, MS, LMHC, LPC, CCMHC. Designed for non-mental health professionals, this FREE sixty minute Web Conference is open to the public. In this presentation, Judith will discuss the tragedy of bullying, and... Read More
© Copyright 2011 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Houston Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
January 25th, 2011 |
Now that you understand what co-dependency is and how it develops, where do you start your healing process. It involves changing some lifelong beliefs and behaviors.
Belief #1: I am responsible for everybody and everything.
No, you are not. You are responsible for yourself, your feelings, your choices and taking care of yourself. You have a responsibility for your minor children, but you do not have much control over what they do. You can encourage their good behaviors and discourage their negative ones. Accepting your powerlessness over others will give you a tremendous sense of relief.... Read More
January 24th, 2011 |
NOT power OVER, but power WITH! How often have you heard this phrase, almost a chant, seeming to clarify, simplify, and resolve issues about power with just these six words. I’d like to invite you to look deeper.
From my perspective, there are two significant ways to misuse professional and personal power: over-using it and under-using it. In my Right Use of Power programs, I ask people, literally, to line up on a continuum based on their own assessment of where they tend to find themselves, One extreme end of the continuum is overuse of power and the other extreme end is underuse of power.... Read More
December 29th, 2010 |
As adults, we are teaching our children how to follow rules, get along in society, and determine right from wrong. To do so we have to provide discipline, guidance and help our children to correct their mistakes and learn from them. This can be a difficult process, making us as adults feel guilty, nervous, and worried about disciplining the right way. To go along with your own thoughts and feelings, here are a few more tips and ideas. What consequences... Read More
December 27th, 2010 |
Since many people spend more waking hours at their workplace than at home, the dynamics of the work environment can certainly impact their mental health. High-stress work environments increase the need for stress and anxiety counseling, and intense, dangerous work increases the need for individual therapy, trauma debriefing, and counseling for PTSD. Within an office environment, the company culture, and even how employees are grouped, impacts how people feel about perceived injustices in the workplace. A new study from Rutgers... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Scottsdale Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
December 7th, 2010 |
Walking through a large local discount store recently I was struck by the urge to buy things that I didn’t originally come to the store for. The item I had been shopping for was not on the shelf, and the similar items didn’t appeal to me. Still, somehow I was drawn toward displays of odds and ends. I noticed a thought creep into the back of my mind “Hey, maybe you could use one of these, it’s not that expensive.” It was difficult to walk away. I wondered though what the attraction was. Is it just the sheer volume of merchandise that makes it impossible not to see something else that you... Read More
