Category: Trust Issues
The Good Therapy Blog
October 25th, 2010 |
So often when the topic of Sexual Addiction comes up, the primary focus is on the sex addict, the symptoms and causes of sex addiction, and the journey to freedom from sexual addiction. While this is certainly a much needed focal point, something very important often gets overlooked and that is the effect sexual betrayal has on the spouse of the sex addict! Can you imagine waking up one day to find the world and spouse you thought was one thing but then realize that it is not only completely different, but that you have been betrayed! Certainly there are times when a spouse suspects or feels... Read More
October 22nd, 2010 |
In therapy, one of the most frequent questions I am asked is “How do you know when it’s really over? When is it time to give up?”
That’s a good question, one with many different perspectives. In today’s society, it seems to be easier to quit and move on with a new love than to try and work it out with the old. And why not? New love is exciting, passionate and all encompassing. In looking at the idea of a new relationship to replace the old, we are continually flooded with media that gives us guarantees and promises of relief from old wounds. Dating sites are abundant, so that... Read More
October 15th, 2010 |
The media is inundated with stories about domestic violence and the havoc that alcohol or drugs can cause with love relationships. However, there is little attention paid to more subtle types of hurtful behavior like verbal or emotional abuse. These damaging behaviors can occur with partners who are neither physically violent nor addicts. They are partners who may have some other mental illness not so widely understood by the average person. Some emotionally abusive partners aren’t mentally ill at all; they nevertheless have learned to use power and control as a major style of operation within... Read More
October 7th, 2010 |
Sometimes, when people experience a terrible loss, especially if it’s a traumatic loss, they make a life-changing decision in the middle of the intense emotional pain, often without even realizing it or remembering it. This decision can potentially affect them for the rest of their lives, and can cause chronic depression. People do this as a way of coping with the loss. In the shock of loss, people focus very narrowly on getting through each excruciating moment. Thoughts like “I’ll never love again” or I’ll never trust again” seem at the time like ways to avoid ever feeling this... Read More
October 7th, 2010 |
Experiencing a traumatic life event is, by definition, horrific and terrifying; however this experience does not need to become your defining moment. Growing through such an event(s) is plausible and such growth follows a semi-structured pattern of healing. For a moment stop and reflect on the fact that experts have identified a semi-structured pattern of healing; the existence of such a pattern means that just as you are not alone in having been victimized, you are also not alone in the healing journey.
The healing journey that you have chosen to embark on follows three quasi-linear stages... Read More
September 24th, 2010 |
How does growing up in a dysfunctional family affect us as adults? The same behaviors and beliefs that we thought enabled us to survive as children cause us a myriad of problems in adulthood. These are so ingrained and automatic that we do them without even realizing it. Changing any of these behaviors provokes anxiety and fear in us, because we think they were a lifeline. In adulthood, they become an albatross around our necks.
The degree to which we are affected depends on the level of dysfunction in the sicker parent, and the other parent’s ability or inability to protect us. Some addicts... Read More
September 20th, 2010 |
The human experience of parenting has changed some over the years. Biologically, having a child still involves all the relevant body parts, but these parts don’t necessarily have to belong to the parent in question; a mother’s body, a man’s sperm, can now all be borrowed, rented or purchased. All the wonders of the laboratory and operating suite of modern medicine that have been refined for assisting pregnancy just confirm the overwhelmingly shared human drive to procreate and have a family.
The work of parenting has been changing just as much as the biology of conception. Technology has... Read More
September 7th, 2010 |
Most of us are aware that communication and trust are key ingredients in any relationship, yet these pivotal ingredients are often negatively impacted by the vestiges of a traumatic experience.
Someone who has survived a traumatic event often struggles both with expressing her/himself and also with listening in an active manner. Active listening requires a certain amount of concentration as well as the absence of hypervigilance. However, post-trauma most people’s concentration level is below their pre-trauma baseline and their level of hypervigilance is higher than their pre-trauma baseline.... Read More
August 12th, 2010 |
Social Networking is a great way to connect with so many individuals! It connects you with your family, friends from the past, current friends and even allows you to make new friends. With so many benefits, are there any potential dangers with social networking? Well, not if you are someone that has good boundaries, is careful in what you share with others, and gets your emotional needs met in a healthy way. However, if you are someone that has struggled with being inappropriate on the Internet or in relationships, has received false intimacy in unhealthy places, or taken advantage of relationships... Read More
August 12th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
A new study conducted by the University of British Columbia looks at the characteristics and behavioral patterns of female perpetrators of domestic violence. Most studies of people who become abusive have looked predominantly, if not exclusively, at males. But a substantial number of women are harmful to those around them. According to the study, which was published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology, female batterers fall into the same three common categories that male batterers do. Some are violent and... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Tigard Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
August 11th, 2010 |
At times during the past decade in my Spiritual Psychotherapy practice, I’ve advised a skeptical patient to have faith in the process. This is usually in response to a question about how and when he/she will know whether or not the therapy is working.
When I think of my response, it really is a paradox, considering that many if not most people who come to me for help have lost faith – in themselves, in their parents long ago and sometimes in the God of their understanding.
To deal with this paradox, what I generally do is first acknowledge the person’s doubts (and in reality fears... Read More
March 4th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Traditionally, people probably expect that someone in a neutral or bad mood is less likely to trust others, and that a person exhibiting a positive mood is more likely to put their faith in others. The effects of mood on social interactions is an important line of inquiry within modern psychiatry, and in an attempt to bring a greater body of evidence to this area, a study at The Ohio State University which examined mood and perceptions of trustworthiness was recently concluded. The study involved a group of... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Rolling Hills Estates Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
March 1st, 2010 |
Three qualities that are essential for creating a healthy, enduring relationship are: respect, friendship, and trust. When we hold respect for our partner, we foster a feeling of esteem and admiration. We feel good about who they are. We see them in a positive light. And this positive factor has been proven to be a critical determinant in the health and welfare of a couple. John Gottman, who has directed the “Love Lab” at the University of Washington in Seattle since... Read More
February 5th, 2010 |
Understanding how people are prone to behaving in various potentially traumatic settings is an important component of modern psychology and can also inform government agencies and hospitals as they create protocols for handling pandemics. A study just performed at University College London has shown that people tend to respond positively to government advice on prevention and management of disease when they trust authority.... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Longwood Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
