Category: Sex Addiction
The Good Therapy Blog
November 2nd, 2010 |
Recent interest in sexual addiction has drawn attention to a variation called Sexual Anorexia. Also called sexual “acting in,” sexual anorexia is characterized by a severe aversion sexual contact and the obsessive avoidance of sex. Other signs of sexual anorexia include:
-shame and loathing after sex
-rigid, judgmental attitudes about sex
-excessive fear about sexually transmitted disease
-body distortion
-obsessive self-doubt
-self-destructive behaviors to limit, stop, or avoid sex
-episodes of sexually acting out or “bingeing.” Read More
October 25th, 2010 |
So often when the topic of Sexual Addiction comes up, the primary focus is on the sex addict, the symptoms and causes of sex addiction, and the journey to freedom from sexual addiction. While this is certainly a much needed focal point, something very important often gets overlooked and that is the effect sexual betrayal has on the spouse of the sex addict! Can you imagine waking up one day to find the world and spouse you thought was one thing but then realize that it is not only completely different, but that you have been betrayed! Certainly there are times when a spouse suspects or feels... Read More
October 7th, 2010 |
Experiencing a traumatic life event is, by definition, horrific and terrifying; however this experience does not need to become your defining moment. Growing through such an event(s) is plausible and such growth follows a semi-structured pattern of healing. For a moment stop and reflect on the fact that experts have identified a semi-structured pattern of healing; the existence of such a pattern means that just as you are not alone in having been victimized, you are also not alone in the healing journey.
The healing journey that you have chosen to embark on follows three quasi-linear stages... Read More
September 7th, 2010 |
In the early 2000s my colleague Al Cooper dubbed online pornography as “the crack cocaine of sexual addiction.” He wrote about the “three As” that spur users deeper and deeper into a pathological attachment to the mood altering experience that pornography viewers experience. The first A stands for “Accessibility.” Users don’t have to get dressed, drive to the nearest porn shop, park, partake, drive home, etc. And the internet is open 24-7.
The second A stands for “Affordability.” Pornography found online is often free, and can be downloaded and stored or “hoarded” for... Read More
August 12th, 2010 |
Social Networking is a great way to connect with so many individuals! It connects you with your family, friends from the past, current friends and even allows you to make new friends. With so many benefits, are there any potential dangers with social networking? Well, not if you are someone that has good boundaries, is careful in what you share with others, and gets your emotional needs met in a healthy way. However, if you are someone that has struggled with being inappropriate on the Internet or in relationships, has received false intimacy in unhealthy places, or taken advantage of relationships... Read More
May 24th, 2010 |
When most people in our culture think about pornography and who is accessing it online, their thoughts automatically go to the male population. Would it surprise you to know that women represent 30% of the internet pornography consumers (Internet Pornography Statistics, 2008; Nielsen/NetRatings, April 2005)? It is time to stop with the “old school” thinking that it is just a “man” issue and take a look at not only the increased activity with women and pornography, but also the impact that it is having on them and their lives.
Women have greater access to information, laws and resources... Read More
May 14th, 2010 |
If it’s true that one of the core beliefs of people addicted to sex is that “sex is my most important need (or the most important sign of love)” (Carnes, 1983) – and I believe it is, based on clinical experience – then sex addicts active in their disease will be “targeting” sex as the high point of all human interaction. The social universe of an addict becomes a vast haystack within which that golden “needle” must be found, no matter what. If sexual partners can’t be found through social networking, they can be paid for. Or created through “virtual” means such as pornography,... Read More
April 20th, 2010 |
I want to address an issue that lies at the heart of sex addiction: the double bind a person with sex addiction lives with, and how the tension created by this double bind creates a vicious cycle – which only strong and consistent intervention can break, and keep broken in favor of a healthier life (By intervention I mean treatment, recovery, etc.).
I’m not here to debate whether or not sex addiction is, in fact, an addiction. I believe it is, though I don’t think that every kind of sexual compulsivity indicates sex addiction. But if you have doubt about whether out of control sexual... Read More
March 5th, 2010 |
While Tiger Woods’ sexual experiences have been all over the news recently, the psychiatric task force charged with creating the next edition of the “bible” for counselors and psychotherapists, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is completing work on their current update (the last edition came out way back in 1994).
In a recent article for the Los Angeles Times, Dr. Allen... Read More
February 11th, 2010 |
There are many psychological concerns which can be difficult to recognize, accept, and bring forward for treatment, and feelings of addiction to pornography can often be among them. Recently, researchers in Australia have begun investigating how this type of addiction affects the population, hoping to use the information to craft meaningful and accessible treatments, even in cases when clients do not wish to formally meet with a therapist... Read More
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January 7th, 2010 |
In my first blog-post last month I wrote about my work as a sex therapist, and how “talking about sex” can help us to heal memories and repair and strengthen relationships. Many of the responses I’ve received have been about addiction to sex (especially internet pornography) and the devastating effect it has on committed relationships, or on the ability to form intimate relationships.
Internet overuse can be compared to alcoholism, drug addiction, or compulsive... Read More
