Category: Self-Criticism
The Good Therapy Blog
January 31st, 2011 |
Mindfulness-Based Therapy is an approach in which the principles of mindfulness are applied for therapeutic purposes. What does it practically mean? In my article “Mindfulness and Knowledge", I pointed out to the 5 basic elements of mindfulness:
1. Pause.
2. Bring awareness in - body, sensations, feelings, thoughts
3. Connect with the breath.
4. Be in the present moment.
5. Adopt a non-judgmental approach – applying compassion.
While working with clients I developed recognition of two main components that emerge... Read More
January 10th, 2011 |
We as humans occupy the odd position of knowing we will die someday, and having no way of knowing how, where or when. This creates a kind of underlying fundamental tension in human existence. It also creates denial, and an urge to try to control things. We are prone to critiquing ourselves and our lives (and often other people), in some sense as a way to manage our anxiety over all of this. If we just know what’s wrong, and can fix it, we’ll be happy, right? And have no regrets when we die. (Probably we are hoping we will never actually die, but that’s another discussion.)
In the beginning... Read More
January 7th, 2011 |
Another way to understand your healing journey is to think of growing from a place of victimization to survival and finally into thriving. While you had no choice about being victimized, you do have a choice about growing through these stages. Regardless of what the traumatic event was, where or when it occurred, there was a period of time, however short or long, when you were victimized. This victimization is not of your doing and is not something to have guilt or shame about, rather it is a factual reality to understand, accept and grow through. When an individual cannot or does not (for... Read More
December 27th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
On the whole, people assume that those around them lead happier lives than they themselves do. Dartmouth psychology fellow Alex Jordan noticed that his friends, when logging onto Facebook, became depressed about their own lives. Everyone else seemed to be happier, more successful, and more active. Jordan began to explore and research the differences between how we perceive others’ quality of life and how life actually feels to them. Time and time again, people rated others’ lives as higher... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist North Vancouver Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
December 27th, 2010 |
This co-dependency article is the last chapter on managing anxiety. We will manage anxiety by learning cognitive behavioral strategies. To review, the other strategies include physical exercise to burn off adrenaline and relaxation breathing. We are learning to manage anxiety, because when we let go of co-dependent behaviors and beliefs, we often feel some anxiety.
Cognitive behavior therapy or “CBT” was first developed by Dr. Albert Ellis. He called his theory “Rational Emotive Therapy”... Read More
December 12th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Negative body image can be the result of many factors: external criticism, media standards, feelings of failure in other areas of life, social isolation - the list goes on. But when a therapist or counselor works with patients who have poor self-image esteem, some of those patients experience this negative self-image to an exceptionally extreme degree. As psychotherapist Jane Shure, PhD explains it, body image runs on a continuum, from extremely... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Birmingham Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
November 19th, 2010 |
As surely as there are helpful ways to communicate with your partner, there are also unhelpful ways. Let’s begin with those:
Stonewalling (refusing to listen to or talk to their partner)
Making character attacks (“You’re lazy, stupid, …” rather than talking about the behavior that bothers you
Trying to be right rather than compromising (Would you rather be right or happy?)
Blaming others for your actions
Not listening
Thinking you know what your partner is thinking and feeling, rather than asking them
Saying “You always…” or “You never…”
Bringing... Read More
October 18th, 2010 |
Last month we looked at why it’s important to let ourselves “wallow” in our feelings; it helps us know ourselves better and get over difficult patches faster. It also helps us to reintegrate the parts of us that had to be cut off in order not to hurt so much. Once we’re whole, we can enjoy the self-esteem that comes from knowing and respecting ourselves.
As a therapist, I often hear variations on the following from clients: “I’m sick to death of wallowing in my feelings. How do I let this go and move forward?”
Have you ever had a similar thought? Has it ever seemed to you that... Read More
October 11th, 2010 |
The new school year has started, and many girls face an uphill battle when it comes to insecurity about math. Math anxiety can make itself known through nervousness when tackling a math problem, panic attacks that strike during a test, or even avoidance of math subjects completely. Although not exclusively a woman’s problem, men are less likely to experience anxiety about math.
Why are women so afraid of math? Why do numbers on a page cause panic or make some women’s minds go blank? Clearly, it is not due to lack of ability. Research has failed to identify any striking differences between... Read More
September 15th, 2010 |
What do you do when you feel bad? Do you clean the house? Take a walk? Eat an entire bag or box of something sweet or salty?
Whatever you do, does it work? Do the bad feelings go away? If so, do they stay away for good?
Your feelings – good, bad, or ugly – represent your reactions to experiences. When you disown feelings, you disown yourself. This hurts self-esteem.
Let’s take a look at why this is. Read More
September 3rd, 2010 |
The relationship you have with yourself can directly affect your creativity. When faced with the blank canvas or computer screen, you must also face your internal process. How you relate to yourself can influence the degree of creativity. Since creating is often done in isolation, it is how you cope with bouts of self-doubt, anxiety and self-criticism that can make a difference. Do you believe in your ability and talent to succeed? Are you able to connect to your art and make meaning of it? How you deal with these issues can either enhance the flow of creativity or end up in Creative Block.
We... Read More
August 17th, 2010 |
If you’re a student of history, you’ve probably observed that although technology has advanced exponentially since the era of the caveman, human nature has stayed pretty much the same. Although we have our computers, iPhones, iPads, Mp3’s, cable TV, etc, humans are still hardwired to react to anxiety provoking incidents with a myriad of predictable physiological reactions. Perhaps you can relate to being placed on hold by an automated avatar or being lost in a company’s automated answering loop. Your instantaneous physiological reactions might include rapid heartbeat, tightened muscles,... Read More
July 16th, 2010 |
People often speak as if self-esteem were based on a self-evaluation of your skills and talents. We’re encouraged to think about the things we’re good at, in order to improve our reputation with ourselves.
Liking certain things about ourselves is certainly a fine thing, but as many people who suffer with low self-esteem can tell you, knowing you’re really good at something – or even many things – is not the same as enjoying the inner peace of healthy self-esteem.
Even thinking of things you like about yourself – your sense of humor, your generosity, your reliable nature – often... Read More
June 14th, 2010 |
This is a continuation of last month's article, "Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?" Here are seven reasons why people attack themselves:
1. Imitating Parents
We all learn how to take care of ourselves from imitating how our parents (or other caretakers) take care of us. So when parents or caretakers attack children emotionally, verbally, or physically, children learn to attack themselves like their parents do. Practicing over and over, people become good at self-attack and carry the skill into adulthood. It becomes an integral... Read More
