Category: Self-Care
The Good Therapy Blog
November 5th, 2010 |
I believe the task of childhood is to learn to be a good parent to ourselves, and the task of parenthood is to teach our children to become good parents to themselves. When this doesn’t happen, it becomes the goal of therapy.
Sadly, this process can go awry with one’s own parents. Parents who never had the opportunity to learn how to be a good parent to themselves, often have trouble parenting their children. This can cause generational repetition of growing up without being able to parent oneself well. Sometimes when parents lack skill, children develop good self-parenting ability from... Read More
October 25th, 2010 |
So often when the topic of Sexual Addiction comes up, the primary focus is on the sex addict, the symptoms and causes of sex addiction, and the journey to freedom from sexual addiction. While this is certainly a much needed focal point, something very important often gets overlooked and that is the effect sexual betrayal has on the spouse of the sex addict! Can you imagine waking up one day to find the world and spouse you thought was one thing but then realize that it is not only completely different, but that you have been betrayed! Certainly there are times when a spouse suspects or feels... Read More
October 24th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
As more Americans warm to the value of preventative health care for physical health, it’s a good time to address how prevention benefits mental health as well. In a report published in the American Journal of Public Health, researchers concluded that investments in “mental health promotion and protection” not only complements the treatment (e.g. therapy, counseling, etc.) of mental illness when it arises, but these investments can reduce the risk of mental illness in the first place.
When... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Bellevue Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
October 23rd, 2010 |
Often, in the context of cultivating mindfulness, I heard people emphasize – “I don’t want to become a Pollyanna”. As someone who grew up loving Pollyanna – a child heroine of U.S. novelist Eleanor Hodgman Porter1 - I want to clear her name and claim that there is a lot to learn from her character in our efforts to be mindful.
The term Pollyanna is typically used as: unreasonably or illogically optimistic or an excessively or blindly optimistic person. If you read the book though2, you will find that Pollyanna developed a character, behaviors and an approach to life that touch on many... Read More
October 21st, 2010 |
Having a baby is a milestone occasion in many women’s lives. It is a time of profound role transition and development of reordering of priorities. For many women, motherhood brings joy, a sense of wonder, and tremendous fulfillment. And, for at least 20% of all child-bearing women, motherhood can bring about significant perinatal mood/anxiety concerns.
What is a perinatal mood/anxiety disorder (PMAD)? I would like to first underscore that in no way do I recommend labeling a woman as “disordered.” As a strengths-based therapist, I believe that empowering clients to work through challenges... Read More
October 20th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Conventional wisdom dictates that the more tough times you’ve seen, the more psychological baggage you carry with you. So a long-term study, which culminated in 2004 and will soon be published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, sought to bear this out. The verdict? In some ways, the conventional wisdom is correct. People who have experienced a very high level of adversity throughout their lives generally end up with more mental health... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Woodland Hills Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
October 19th, 2010 |
Okay, so now you understand co-dependency, where it comes from and how it affects you. You want to heal and recover. So where do you start? It can feel so overwhelming that you may feel paralyzed. Remember, you don’t have to do it perfectly. (Or anything else for that matter).
Ideally, I recommend that you start by finding a therapist who understands co-dependency. If you or an immediate family member works for an employer that has an employee assistance program, that is an ideal place to start. It won’t cost you anything, at least for the first few sessions. If you don’t have... Read More
October 11th, 2010 |
Sally does not stop for breakfast and instead goes straight from her bed to her desk. She begins typing on the computer while unknowingly holding her breath. Jumping from one website to the next she feels busy. Her muscles tense. She pushes herself to continue working. By the end of the day, she is exhausted and restless. Feeling very tired and wired she takes a sleeping pill to go to sleep. This daily work pattern continues until she finds herself sick in bed with the flu. Illness brings on a needed a period of rest.
Spending time in her garden or even taking a break for lunch has become less... Read More
October 7th, 2010 |
Sometimes, when people experience a terrible loss, especially if it’s a traumatic loss, they make a life-changing decision in the middle of the intense emotional pain, often without even realizing it or remembering it. This decision can potentially affect them for the rest of their lives, and can cause chronic depression. People do this as a way of coping with the loss. In the shock of loss, people focus very narrowly on getting through each excruciating moment. Thoughts like “I’ll never love again” or I’ll never trust again” seem at the time like ways to avoid ever feeling this... Read More
October 7th, 2010 |
Experiencing a traumatic life event is, by definition, horrific and terrifying; however this experience does not need to become your defining moment. Growing through such an event(s) is plausible and such growth follows a semi-structured pattern of healing. For a moment stop and reflect on the fact that experts have identified a semi-structured pattern of healing; the existence of such a pattern means that just as you are not alone in having been victimized, you are also not alone in the healing journey.
The healing journey that you have chosen to embark on follows three quasi-linear stages... Read More
October 5th, 2010 |
Many couples come into marriage counseling or couples counseling with numerous uncertainties, however they all have one common theme: an expectation. An expectation, an unrealistic expectation, a hope that their partner will change and thus the relationship will be satisfying. The partners are consumed with the desire for change, although each of the counterparts, seem to be unaware that in order for the relationship to become modified, the change begins with self.
I often inform couples on their first visit that therapy is about identifying unhealthy patterns within oneself and attempting to... Read More
October 4th, 2010 |
Should Elijah be concerned about his mole?
Elijah nicked a mole on his upper lip while shaving one morning. He covered it with tape and went on with his busy day. Managing his fine arts import company and finding distributors that would sell the fine porcelain gave him enormous pride and self-esteem. He enjoyed making a reality out of the unpredictable nature of the business. Rain or shine, sick or not Elijah never missed a day. He always had his finger on the pulse of every part of the trade, and that’s what helped him sleep at night.
Malignant melanoma diagnosis shocks Elijah
He didn’t... Read More
September 20th, 2010 |
So let's say you come home from work and it was an ok day. Perhaps you have been feeling stress (a lot of work needing to be done, even though you are managing it, or family stress, the start of another school year, etc.). Ever noticed being at home and then finding yourself irritable with those around you? Maybe you find yourself reacting to what a calmer you would think, "This is not such a big deal. Why am I so upset?" This happens to me too.
When I am at my best, I will then apologize and ask for a little time to myself. Backing out of the moment gives me time to reflect on what the heck... Read More
September 15th, 2010 |
What do you do when you feel bad? Do you clean the house? Take a walk? Eat an entire bag or box of something sweet or salty?
Whatever you do, does it work? Do the bad feelings go away? If so, do they stay away for good?
Your feelings – good, bad, or ugly – represent your reactions to experiences. When you disown feelings, you disown yourself. This hurts self-esteem.
Let’s take a look at why this is. Read More
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