Category: Helplessness/Victimhood
The Good Therapy Blog
October 22nd, 2010 |
Seth Walsh, 13, Asher Brown, 13, Billy Lucas, 15, Tyler Clementi, 18, Raymond Chase, 19, all died within the last three weeks as a result of suicide. All of them were bullied or harassed for being perceived as gay. And these are just the names that we know. There are many others out there suffering and struggling through the discovery of their sexuality.
Every day gay teens or teens who are perceived as being "outside the box" are bullied and harassed for simply being who they are. This bullying can come from fellow students but there are also negative messages from families, teachers, television,... Read More
October 15th, 2010 |
The media is inundated with stories about domestic violence and the havoc that alcohol or drugs can cause with love relationships. However, there is little attention paid to more subtle types of hurtful behavior like verbal or emotional abuse. These damaging behaviors can occur with partners who are neither physically violent nor addicts. They are partners who may have some other mental illness not so widely understood by the average person. Some emotionally abusive partners aren’t mentally ill at all; they nevertheless have learned to use power and control as a major style of operation within... Read More
October 8th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Bullying has been a high-profile issue in the media lately, but it’s been on the radars of therapists, counselors, and psychologists for far longer. A number of studies have been published over the last few years that examine the consequences of bullying not just for bullying victims, but also for the bullies themselves. While children who bully seem to be those in control of the bully-victim relationship, it’s often a result of poor relationships and problems in other areas of that child’s life. One... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Houston Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
October 1st, 2010 |
Byron tried hard to please but his anger got in the way
Byron’s anger terrified him. He did everything he could to avoid feeling it and showing it when it washed over him. He wanted to die of shame every time he saw his girlfriend’s fear and distress. He didn’t intend to hurt or scare her. She was the one good thing in his life and he would do anything to keep her. Byron’s anger was inexplicable to him. He didn’t feel it coming on and by the time it was evident, it was too late. Beverly was already anticipating something awful. Anger turned to shame and self-castigation. Byron flogged... Read More
September 3rd, 2010 |
In my practice, people trace depression back to trauma most of the time. Emotional trauma is an overwhelming shock to a person’s equilibrium. This may mean getting attacked emotionally, physically or sexually, or witnessing such attacks. It can happen in war, rape, murder, accidents, and even well-intentioned medical procedures. It can also happen in single or repeated incidents of shaming or emotional/verbal attack. It can even happen when heart-breaking losses of any kind occur.
When people are traumatized, it often shapes something they believe about themselves or about life. These trauma-induced... Read More
August 22nd, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
The problem of bullying in elementary, middle school, and high school settings—whether during the school day, after school, or online—is gaining increasing attention. And the more we learn about it, the more serious the problem seems. Many past studies have documented that victims of bullying are more likely to be depressed and anxious, both during adolescence and as they grow into adults. They may be less confident, less outgoing, and struggle with mental health problems throughout their lives. Research has also shown that bullies themselves are likely to... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Phoenix Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
February 9th, 2010 |
Today let's take a look at the powerful consequences of blame.
In my opinion we have a very blaming culture, and I won't go in to why that is right now--I'll save that for a future article. For now, just focus on blame--Blame--we all do it. We blame others:
• For our problems
• For our behavior
• For what we feel
We all know what blame looks like, but what is the essence of blame? In my opinion, blame is the act of refusing to take responsibility for yourself. Read More
January 19th, 2010 |
Do you find yourself feeling stuck in bad situations, and feel as if there’s no way out? Do you tend to give up before you even try in order to avoid the pain of self-perceived, inevitable failure? Do you tend to ‘blow off’ your successes, assuming that it was an accident that things went so well? If so you might have a well-known psychological condition known as learned helplessness. It causes emotional and/or physical pain every day for millions. The good news is that you are not stuck – help is available!
Learned helplessness oftentimes begins in childhood for those who suffered... Read More
November 4th, 2009 |
If I’ve witnessed it once I’ve witnessed it a few hundred times during my years counseling couples. One partner reacts as if his self worth has been decimated by words or actions originating from his partner. The curious and perplexing aspect of observing this process unfold, relates to specific instances when from my perspective evidence of anything that smacks of criticism or judgment is as detectable as an evaporated water spot on a shirt.
This brief article discusses the imperceptible shifts that can take place between partners that explain... Read More
October 6th, 2008 |
Yelling at Children
This is a topic that has meaning for everyone. All of us have raised our voices, probably more than once. No, I did not come from a home of screaming parents or siblings. However, I do see many families and couples who yell a lot at each other, and the short and long-term consequences of regular yelling/screaming are not pretty. Those of you who experience yelling know what I’m talking about.
Let’s start with the impact of yelling at children:
First, it teaches them how to yell, when to yell, and that yelling is an effective response to emotionally charged situations.... Read More
