By Kelly Sanders, MFT, Child & Adolescent Issues Topic Expert Contributor

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This article outlines three ways to have your teenager NOT listen to you!

Every parent wants their teenager to listen to them, but some of the ways that parents go about it produces the opposite affect. The three main ways are: nagging, insight and nagging.

Nagging, for a teen, is the ultimate turn off. Parents do not see it as nagging because parents have a great way to reframe and rationalize their nagging as really reminding the teen what to do. Well, to a teen, more reminding is nagging. Teens’ faces may go blank, they may appear to be listening but really are not. They are hearing Charlie Brown’s mom’s voice: “WAH, WAH, WAH.” Read the rest of this entry

By Jackie Pearson, LMFT, Parenting Topic Expert Contributor

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Temper tantrums are important to address because although they first appear usually during the first year of life, they can occur across the lifespan. What, you say, adults have tantrums? Yes, they do. That is why it is important to understand what they are all about and how not to reinforce them when children are young.

Tantrums are about power, control, and getting one’s own way. Few parents escape the unpleasant experience of having their child throw himself on the floor kicking and screaming. It can be upsetting and embarrassing, particularly if it happens in public. Read the rest of this entry

By Beth S. Pumerantz, MA, MS, LMFT, Communication Problems Topic Expert Contributor

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Kids start learning how to communicate with their world from the moment they are born. They are programmed to vocalize and use their bodies in ways that are communicating their needs. Their cries, squeaks, squeals, screams, and even their giggles tell us what they need, along with the squirming and flailing of their tiny bodies. It is our job as Parents to interpret the meaning of these sounds and gestures, and then to respond effectively in a nurturing and soothing manner. We teach our children about the world around them every time we meet or don’t meet their needs; by what we say and do, or don’t say or do.

These same children grow up to be teenagers! You may even have one or more of these adolescent people in your life. These teens have had plenty of time watching us both communicating effectively and not; and now they venture out whole-heartedly to navigate their world; and it all starts at home. Effective families start with effective Parenting; effective Parents use effective communication! Read the rest of this entry

By Shendl Tuchman, Psy.D., Divorce / Divorce Adjustment Topic Expert Contributor

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In my work with couples who are learning how to parent their children together after ending their marriage/relationship, we spend a good deal of time talking about how the ending of their relationship affects their children, what the internal experience of a child could be and how they manage their parent’s conflict.

There are no descriptions that accurately describe what this is like for every child. We often see differences even between two children from the same family. We can discuss some of the possible scenarios to give you a flavor of what your children might be experiencing. Read the rest of this entry

By Susan Martinez, MA, LMFT, Parenting Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Susan and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Frustration. Most parents are very familiar with this emotional state! For some parents, frustration is an occasional and fleeting emotion. Some parents, however, live in a chronic state of frustration. Frustration is the feeling that you experience when there is a discrepancy between how you think things should be and how they actually are. Many parents suffer from a case of the “should’s”. For example, you think your baby should sleep happily in her crib, but she cries every time you try to put her down. Or you think your toddler isn’t showing any interest in using the potty and you think he should be potty trained by now. Or your school age child is shy and you think she should be more outgoing and make more friends.

Often parents experience a feeling that they label as anger when underneath that anger is really frustration and sometimes unacknowledged losses. As children move from developmental stage to developmental stage parents experience loss, children do too. Lots of losses; loss of sleep, loss of their “baby” who is growing up, loss of the envisioned child the parents expected, loss of parental availability when a sibling is born or a parent returns to the workplace. Read the rest of this entry