A Season of Grieving and Transformation
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven . . . a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.”
--Ecclesiastes 3:1,4
The past year has been my season of grieving. Needless to say, it’s been a long, hard year, but also, in a way that seems impossible to pinpoint, a transformative year, a year of blessings.
Much of 2011 blurs in my mind. It started with my father’s recurrence of lung cancer, then his mercifully brief, anguished last few weeks. It was the first parent I lost, and one I loved intensely. The pain of watching... Read More
Not long ago, a friend of mine suggested that the greatest fear humans experience is the fear of death. I disagreed, saying that I believed their greatest fear is fear of loss. Death is something that is very abstract to most people, in my opinion, unless they have recently tended to a dying loved one or been otherwise exposed to the actual end of life. However, most people, in my experience, live in fear of loss, to a greater or lesser degree.
Loss can take many forms. It can mean loss of youth (or even middle age for those of us who are now elders). That translates into less energy, more facial... 
A death, divorce, illness, sudden unemployment, or any major loss, creates chaos in your life. This emotional fracturing, as well as the practical aftershocks of dealing with estates, lawyers, housing, finances, doctors, etc., often yields intense feelings that can be overwhelming.
When you think you simply can’t assimilate another thing, it’s crucial to just stop. Even if you have never meditated, simply sitting or lying down and paying attention to your breath will calm your nervous system and give you the literal breather you need.
Sometimes, it’s too hard to stay still, so take... 
The decision has been made. You and your spouse are divorcing. There are a multitude of decisions to be made, and it is often difficult to know where to begin. You will be making decisions regarding when the children are with you and when they are with your spouse, whether to keep the family home and, if so, who keeps it. There will also be a host of other decisions you did not realize you made automatically on a daily basis that will now become conscious decisions because living in two different homes requires more coordination. While you are addressing these decisions and working to manage your... 
Your best friend’s beloved cat just died. Your favorite coworker was just laid off. Your elderly aunt, who suffered from cancer for many years, just died, and your cousin is bereft. In any one of these situations, you might likely be uncomfortable and not know what to do. You are certainly not alone with this dilemma.
The first thing to remember in being with someone who is grieving a loss is the word “be”—notice that the title of this article starts with “how to be,” not “what to do.” You may be tempted in the case of the death of your best friend’s cat to offer to take him... 
The dawning of the New Year brings with it more than just a change in numbers. It brings a promise of longer and warmer days in contrast to the early arrival of night in wintertime.
This is why our winter holidays celebrate light and swirl on the calendar around the winter solstice near the end of December. Every candle and every light that twinkles in windows and along streets are meant to give us hope that life will continue, and that it might even be good again.
As difficult as it is for people experiencing grief to feel comforted by the holidays, when everyone is gathering around friends... 
Divorce may be one of the worst moments in your life, and it will impact everything happening in yours and your children's lives. Many children will experience the pain, frustration, stress, and loss that divorce brings to their lives. While kids are very resilient, they need help adjusting to a new life when their parents are separated. There are many things that parents can do to help their children with the divorce process. Often, how parents deal during the divorce impacts how children handle their loss.
When you break the news of the divorce or separation, keep in mind how you approach... 
Last month, one of my readers felt shortchanged by my article on suffering. Not to be defensive about it, but the editors changed my original title [Ed. note: "Suffering" was the original title of November's article]. Nevertheless, perhaps it would be worthwhile to give my suggestions on how to survive painful and difficult periods in our lives whether they are physical, emotional, spiritual, financial or a combination of the above.
Historically, suffering has been viewed through many different lenses. There are those who feel that suffering in this life will be rewarded in the next. Others... 
The arrival of the Thanksgiving and winter holiday season each year asks us to harvest our blessings: to be grateful, to celebrate, and to spend time with friends and family as we shift towards winter. It can be a time of comfort or stress, security or drama, or all of the above and more.
For people in mourning, holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas may feel alienating, confusing, painful, and meaningless. What is there to be grateful for when we have experienced an irreplaceable loss? How do we gather together and celebrate when someone’s absence from the table is glaring? Why toast to... 
Confession: I often get take-out from Whole Foods Market, which is just a short walk from my New York City apartment. Mostly it’s because I’m tired or lazy or haven’t been organized enough to stock my refrigerator.
Anyway, this is not an article about Whole Foods; it’s about suffering, or what I imagined to be suffering, and how it deeply affected me. For the most part, I would say I’m aware of the suffering in the world, but so as not to be overwhelmed by it, I compartmentalize some of the feelings. I need to be attuned to suffering in my work, and I do read up on local and world... 
Traditional therapy does not always appeal to most men; therefore, unique approaches have been designed to encourage men to embark on the journey of self-discovery. One approach, 
In May this year, 16 people lost their lives to transphobic violence and hate: 11 in Brazil, and one each in the Dominican Republic, El Salvador, Guatemala, Mexico, and Venezuela. I know, because just a couple of days ago I read aloud the names of each departed soul at the annual Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDoR) observance in Oakland, CA. Of course, not all the names were known. Most were women, transgendered women, and if their names were not known, we usually knew something of where they lost their lives: their apartments, the street, a bathroom, on a bus... In May, their ages (if known)... 
The tradition of honoring the departed with rituals and sweets exists in almost every culture.
In Mexico, there is Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, which is celebrated in conjunction with the Catholic holidays of All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day, when prayers and offerings are made to the deceased, and families gather to remember and reconnect with those who have passed on before them.
Halloween, occurring the day before Día de los Muertos, has been combined with the Mexican holiday in certain places, but often fails to focus on the departed while it emphasizes the paranormal... 
