Category: Fear
The Good Therapy Blog
June 22nd, 2011 |
What are your basic needs? Do any of your basic needs fit into the categories of better health and conquering specific fears? Do health issues or your fears hold you back from living fully and contributing in the way you would like to? What can you do to help yourself?
Discover your own unique ways to bring a playful attitude into all areas of your life and you will find optimal health and removal of the blocks that stop you from making the changes you want to incorporate into... Read More
May 25th, 2011 |
Thanks again to those who responded to my last article on why some partners or loved ones (POLOs) of those struggling with addiction/alcoholism may be reluctant to attend Al-anon. I’ll sum up the answers into 4 categories, based on public and private (i.e., emails to me) responses to the article:
1. Denial. For a POLO to attend an Al-anon meeting is to admit that the problem really is that bad. To give up the illusion that maybe things ‘aren’t so bad’ is to open a pandora’s box of emotions, such as anxiety, terror, guilt, shame and so on. A few of my patients have told me that attending... Read More
May 23rd, 2011 |
Why do people we care for sometimes engage in cruel behavior? What can we do about it?
Alfred Adler believed the ultimate goal for all human beings is to belong and feel connected to others. Unfortunately, when a person doesn't find connection with others through kindness and good deeds, they become discouraged and feel inferior to others. Adler said no one can tolerate these inferiority feelings and so they over compensate by striving for superiority. One way to strive for superiority is to become a bully. There are a number of such bullies who ban together with other bullies in order to strengthen... Read More
May 6th, 2011 |
I enjoy reading the responses to my articles. Responses to the most recent one of Feedback: The Single Most Important Skill, focused on the complexity of giving and receiving feedback. I want to now add a few comments to those responses. Here are some challenges I have named related to using feedback.
A. A Fear of causing pain or disregard for causing pain
"D" says, "someone may have done a very bad job and you could be furious with him or her, or you may be a frank person, but this does not entitle you to shout at the person... Read More
May 3rd, 2011 |
As a therapist, I talk about feelings a lot. Building a good relationship with one’s emotions can be incredibly helpful for increasing self-confidence and peace of mind. This can be daunting to many people—some feelings seem so big and overwhelming it can be scary to acknowledge them and actually spend time with them. The idea of being on friendly terms with painful emotions is a completely foreign concept to many people. Feeling an emotion deeply in order to fully understand, accept, and transform it takes courage, confidence, and trust that the process will not result in disaster.
The... Read More
April 18th, 2011 |
It’s that time of year- spring! It’s about renewal and rebirth: life-force energy that has lain dormant through winter is now resurging above ground, driving the emergence of flowers and tender young shoots. I look out my window and can no longer see the street for the riot of leaves. Spring is a colorful illustration of the ongoing flow of life, a testament to the fact that everything is always changing.
Eating disorders are another matter entirely. Disordered eating patterns, which often seem irrational and illogical, offer protection from the unknown, the unpredictable. Rigid rules about... Read More
April 4th, 2011 |
Well, once again it’s my readers who are instructing me just as much as (if not more than) the other way around. Thanks to all who take the time to read and comment on my blog articles. Your feedback is much appreciated.
Based on the verbal and written feedback I’ve gotten on my last post, I’ve learned 3 things – more, really, but these seem to be the headlines – about the “disease” concept of addiction/alcoholism, whether it truly is a disease, whether the concept is helpful or hurtful, and so on. And they are, in no particular order:
1. The debate may be moot. I’m now... Read More
March 29th, 2011 |
“Dave” is a 72 year old man who recently found out that his friend “Carl” has colon cancer. Carl had surgery and ended up with a colostomy. His prognosis was not very good. Dave went to see him in the hospital. Carl didn’t look so good, but Dave wasn’t about to tell him that. “You look great,” Dave said. Carl smiled wanly. Fortunately, there was a game on the television. Dave and Carl watched it as their wives chatted about one thing and another. After about 15 minutes, Dave just had to get out of there. Later, in the car, his wife asked him why he wanted to leave so... Read More
March 14th, 2011 |
“I’ve tried so many times and so many different ways, what is the point of trying anymore?” “I am too ashamed, what will others think if I admit this?” “Is there really a way to overcome this, it feels like too much?” These are just a few of the statements I repeatedly hear from individuals who struggle with sex addiction and truly believing that there is no hope, or at least it feels that way to them. Have you wondered if sex addiction is really an addiction? Well, consider these statistics:
- The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health conservatively estimates 3% - 5% of... Read More
February 18th, 2011 |
Without playing with fantasy, no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of imagination if incalculable.
-C.G. Jung
Jung wrote about the need for finding and living our myth, our story, as he grew older, he wrote his most important works and found his own unique ways to play. We need new stories that weave playfulness, gratitude, and compassion for self and others. Re-writing your myth or story can help you understand more fully your core values. Your story reflects your uniqueness and the many gifts you have to offer others. If you fully expressed your values,... Read More
February 9th, 2011 |
Since many survivors of a traumatic life event(s) experience the grip of panic attacks, I want to focus on demystifying these sometimes painful and often frightening experiences. While it may seem that there is no benefit from a panic attack, in its essence, a panic attack is an attempt by your body and mind to protect you from a perceived danger.
In a previous article (Understanding the Physical Impact of Extreme Stress – posted March 2010), I discussed the impact of stress on the body and mind. I have taken... Read More
February 3rd, 2011 |
My meditation class is exploring the six Paramitas, or perfections, the path of the Bodhisattva (one who vows to liberate all beings from suffering). It is simpler than it sounds. In truth, it is the path to happiness, and any one of us can follow it. In the months to come I will write posts about each of the Paramitas and explain how we can make use of them in our lives.
The first Paramita is Generosity. In class we’ve talked about where generosity comes from, what it feels like, and what impedes it. Turns out, we all know a lot about it. We know what generosity feels like – it feels lovely.... Read More
February 2nd, 2011 |
Whether we know it or not . . . whether we want to know it or not . . . we all have currents of prejudice within our psyches. Although many think of their prejudices as simply “the truth,” others realize that there are some major roots to our prejudice . . . roots that need to be named, known, and worked with.
One of the roots of our prejudices is . . . we are taught to be prejudiced by the active teachings of those with whom we grow up, and also by their modeling. This is poignantly expressed in the song “Carefully Taught” from the Broadway show and the movie, “South Pacific.” Read More
January 26th, 2011 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
A good therapist wouldn’t treat his or her clients like a science project. Though there is a scientific basis for how brain chemistry and feelings correspond, we don’t experience our world through chemicals. We experience it through pain and sadness, joy, and relief. These are the mediums that the psychotherapist works with, and these are where we make sense of our world.
But that doesn’t mean that better understanding of brain chemistry and neurology can’t inform even more effective therapy. Take, for example, post-traumatic stress disorder. Those who’ve... Read More
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