Category: Family Problems
The Good Therapy Blog
October 5th, 2010 |
I often say, when explaining eating disorders, that someday I’m going to invent the Eating Disorder Board Game. I certainly don’t meant to make light of eating disorders, for they are serious conditions that cause tremendous pain to those that suffer from them and to those close to the sufferer. It’s just that I’m big on using analogies to explain the significance of eating-disordered beliefs and behaviors.
The Eating Disorder Board Game is one that I use to illustrate one of the salient issues involved in an eating disorder: arrested psychological development. Imagine a board game... Read More
September 27th, 2010 |
Families appear to be solid when parents are working together with job, family, parenting, having fun and individual time. Things turn for the better but mostly for the worse when divorce tears apart a family. EVERYBODY suffers, EVERYBODY is in pain.
The kids from a small age to even adult children go through many difficult changes once divorce happens. One day their world was strong, no matter how the family appeared to others, there was stability. Divorce can weaken the family structure. Kids feel pain the most after parents divorce. Parents don’t get along. Kids’ stability and confidence... Read More
September 22nd, 2010 |
It’s not uncommon for a parent to bring a child to therapy and say, “Fix it!” Of course, they don’t typically say “it”; rather, they say, “Fix Larry!” I can imagine my mother taking me to a therapist when I was in my teens because I needed (as we say down South) “fixin.” At these moments I intentionally look at the adolescent or child to see their reaction. Sadly, most of them display no reactions at all – they hear this statement on a regular basis.
What is a therapist to do? Sure, I could work on “fixin” the child/adolescent but then they’re going to return home... Read More
September 9th, 2010 |
“It feels heavy right here,” Rebecca* said, crying and touching her chest, “like a huge rock is sitting on me. It’s like that old cartoon, where a boulder would fall off a cliff and pin the roadrunner to the ground – it feels like I can’t move.” Rebecca had come to see me last year, a 32 year-old successful marketing professional, whose older sister had recently been diagnosed with a psychotic condition. She seemed lost in grief. Fluctuating bewilderment, sadness, fear, anger, tenderness, and love were tying knots in every part of her.
I thought that untying some of the knots in... Read More
September 3rd, 2010 |
The relationship you have with yourself can directly affect your creativity. When faced with the blank canvas or computer screen, you must also face your internal process. How you relate to yourself can influence the degree of creativity. Since creating is often done in isolation, it is how you cope with bouts of self-doubt, anxiety and self-criticism that can make a difference. Do you believe in your ability and talent to succeed? Are you able to connect to your art and make meaning of it? How you deal with these issues can either enhance the flow of creativity or end up in Creative Block.
We... Read More
September 3rd, 2010 |
Parents are often asking me to describe the various options they have for their post-divorce living arrangements. In addition to the many possible choices available to consider for how children go back and forth between two residences, there is also the possibility of having children stay in the home they are currently living in while the parents move in and out. This is sometimes described as “the children get the house” or “bird nesting” or just “nesting”.
There are advantages and disadvantages to this arrangement.
The Advantages:
1. It focuses on the needs of the children.... Read More
September 1st, 2010 |
This post should really be titled “The Dirty Little Secret of Parenting that is Neither Dirty, nor Little, nor a Secret.” Because what I’m about to say is totally obvious and yet is often overlooked as a vital part of understanding children’s behavior.
When we talk about parenting we often talk about the child: what they're doing, what they’re saying, what they’ve experienced, what they might be feeling… This is helpful and important, but only gives us one piece of the pie. Over and over again, I’ve seen that when we also take into consideration what’s happening for the... Read More
August 31st, 2010 |
Anger and hate consumed Sebastian
Anger that his marriage hadn’t worked out the way he hoped washed over Sebastian from the minute he woke up. He was angry with his selfish wife. He was angry that she didn’t seem to want to help their son with his homework or encourage him in sports. Sebastian was angry that he had to take care of everything at home while Loretta showed little concern for the family.
Anger became stronger when Sebastian compared work to home life
Teaching music to kids at school was his only escape. The lack of joint rhythms in his marriage was countered by the magical... Read More
August 26th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Last November, an Army psychiatrist engaged in a public shooting at Ft. Hood, the U.S. Army’s largest base in the country. Paired with increasing rates of soldiers with PTSD—sometimes treated, and sometimes fighting for recognition of their struggles—the shooting put mental health and the military in the national spotlight. With overseas combat engagement now in its 9th year, mental health needs present at Ft. Hood are higher than ever before, often straining the base’s robust mental health staff. And it’s believed that even more troops may need help... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Fort Lauderdale Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
August 24th, 2010 |
All kids lie. They start young, look innocent into your eyes and tell you the answers that you want to hear. Then it’s like a shock as a parent that their child told a lie! How does that happen?
Kids lie because they know instinctively that if they do something wrong, they will see a disapproving look on their parents’ face. They don’t like that. Parents don’t like it when they kids lie.
How do kids lie? Well, instinctively all kids know how to get a reaction from their parents. All kids, and everyone else, would rather receive praise than disappointment. I am going to assume that... Read More
August 18th, 2010 |
Young parents, especially exhausted moms, relish the moments when their children fall asleep in their arms. Ask any parent of teenage children: those long-ago moments when their infant children rested against their chests, heavy with sleep, are among their most cherished memories of parenthood.
We spend a third of our lives asleep. Issues of children, parenting and sleep are perennial topics of debate and changing best practice. And few topics raise more anxiety than the issue of the family bed: when and how do parents allow their children to sleep with them? Whether infant or toddler, most... Read More
August 16th, 2010 |
Self-esteem is a relational term. It describes a relationship between you and yourself. Having a solid sense of esteem for yourself puts you squarely in a partnership that is nurturing and accepting, as well as motivating and energizing.
Where does this relationship with you come from? How is it determined?
The answer for most of us is that our earliest relationships in life set the tone for our inner dialogue. This is good news, because it means that we can explore the origins of low self-esteem and intentionally create new relationships that fuel a more positive view of ourselves. Our... Read More
August 14th, 2010 |
Parent-child relationships influence how children grow up to see the world. Strained relationships can result in resentment and insecurity, and are a common topic of exploration and discussion when adults meet with therapists and counselors. But positive relationships have positive adult outcomes, and a new study has found a specific link between father-son relationships and grown sons’ ability to deal with stress. Men who report having had supportive, attentive fathers reacted to stress less emotionally and reported... Read More
© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Mill Valley Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
August 11th, 2010 |
In the development of most teenagers there is a natural moment where the bounds of sexuality are explored and roles and sexual identity are created. For LGBT teens this natural part of growing up can often be confusing and overwhelming, resulting in a variety of responses. Some individuals experience such intense negative emotions about their sexual feelings that they repress and push those feelings as far away as possible and choose to ignore their sexuality.
By hiding deep in the closet, these teens are setting themselves up for an uphill battle as they get older and inevitably arrive at... Read More
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