Category: Family of Origin Issues
The Good Therapy Blog
February 16th, 2011 |
This is the fourth in a series of articles on the Scapegoat and how Voice Dialogue can help heal this ancient phenomenon that continues to occur within all human communities and within certain sensitive and susceptible individuals. The first two articles explored the Shadow, the phenomenon called projection, and the history of the Scapegoat in human communities. The third article begins the sorting and healing process through Voice Dialogue sessions with a composite client named Helen. See the first three articles here.
In... Read More
February 11th, 2011 |
Full permission has been given by the client to tell this story on GoodTherapy.org. All identifying information has been changed.
Images hold keys that unlock our inner experiences. Images can penetrate built up defenses in the mind that dispel or diminish the importance of feelings and experiences in our lives. During a traumatic event(s), images, sounds, textures, smells, and tastes can become hardwired in the brain to the event. At the time of a trauma, the body internalizes feelings that might otherwise overwhelm normal ego function. Later those trauma experiences can be accessed or... Read More
February 8th, 2011 |
While most of us who marry intend it to be for a lifetime, about half of all first marriages in the United States end in divorce. Divorce ends not only a couple relationship based at least initially on attraction, trust and commitment; it marks the end of a dreamed future as a family. Despite the pain that most divorces bring, the desire to be happily married doesn’t seem to end, since most of those who divorce will eventually remarry.
Marrying at any age or stage of life is a challenge and a good deal of personal work and adjustment, but choosing to marry for the second (or more) time brings... Read More
February 6th, 2011 |
Alcoholism, known as “alcohol dependence syndrome” is a disease that is characterized by craving, loss of control and physical dependence. Those with alcohol addiction, as well as being victims themselves, can have negative impacts on those with whom they associate. Research has shown that children of people with alcohol addiction develop some personalities traits that may impact their lives as an adult.
Here are 12 common characteristics of adult children of people with alcohol addiction as described by Woititz (1988):
Adult children of people with alcohol addiction guess what... Read More
February 2nd, 2011 |
Whether we know it or not . . . whether we want to know it or not . . . we all have currents of prejudice within our psyches. Although many think of their prejudices as simply “the truth,” others realize that there are some major roots to our prejudice . . . roots that need to be named, known, and worked with.
One of the roots of our prejudices is . . . we are taught to be prejudiced by the active teachings of those with whom we grow up, and also by their modeling. This is poignantly expressed in the song “Carefully Taught” from the Broadway show and the movie, “South Pacific.” Read More
January 25th, 2011 |
Beginning in infancy, relationships, food and feeding become intertwined. Think about it: Baby cries and baby gets fed. Someone has to do that feeding, and that someone is usually holding the baby and relating to him or her. So, from our earliest memories, food and being fed is one of our first ways of connecting to one another. As we grow and develop, social events often revolve around mealtimes; whether it is family dinner or a social gathering with friends, we are enjoying the nurturing that food and company can provide.
With the eating-disordered population, however, the connection between... Read More
January 19th, 2011 |
When a loved one hurts you through excessive criticism, put downs or abuse of any kind, you experience emotional and often simultaneous physical pain. But can emotional abuse be considered traumatic? Dr. Francine Shapiro defines two types of trauma, "big T" trauma and "little t" trauma. "Big T" trauma refers to what we commonly think of as trauma like war or natural disaster. "Little t" trauma refers to incidents such as getting teased as a child or getting rejected by your first love. Most people experience "little t" trauma some time in their lives. People who live with and love someone emotionally... Read More
January 18th, 2011 |
The term “spiritual bankruptcy” is a word used in the rooms of 12 step programs to characterize addicts who have lost their connection to “higher power.” One dictionary definition describes spiritual bankruptcy as “a state of complete lack of some abstract property.” As we begin the year, I’ve been pondering what I believe “spiritual bankruptcy” means and how it appears in the people I know personally and treat in my practice.
If I were to think of the personal qualities of someone who seems to be spiritually bankrupt, what comes to mind is despair. The spiritually bankrupt... Read More
December 27th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Though full of nostalgia, traditions, and wonderfully indulgent food, the holidays can also be a time of stress, familial strains, and the winter blues. Stress is especially common. If you experience stress and anxiety year-round to levels that detract from your life, you should consider finding a therapist or counselor to help you devise some stress-reduction strategies. But even without anti-anxiety counseling, the holiday season can be overwhelming: so much to do, to buy, to prepare, to schedule. To beat the stress this holiday season, there are three things... Read More
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December 13th, 2010 |
Richard came to treatment feeling angry, sad and resentful. He was scared that the man he was living with was getting ready to dump him.
“That always happens,” he said. “Just when I feel my life turn around, I get dumped. What’s wrong with me? Why am I always the one who gets left? I think we were in love, he says he’ll never leave me, but in three months he’ll be gone and I’ll be a fool.”
This was the third serious relationship that was not working out. Richard is handsome, smart, funny. He would seem to be an ideal mate, but he has a fatal flaw. He is very controlling,... Read More
December 7th, 2010 |
Home for the holidays– for some, this phrase evokes warm memories of family gathered together. For others, the phrase evokes a tremendous amount of anxiety, wondering how to manage complex and strained family relationships.
Family issues and conflicts are as varied as they are common. One of the most common sources of family stress are, the judgments that are, often expressed surrounding your life choices. Maybe it's a grandmother who can't understand your decision not to marry your partner and constantly asks you if you have any announcements to make. Or a father who openly comments on... Read More
December 7th, 2010 |
It’s the time of year when I see and hear a lot of tips for handling the holidays, because it’s the time of year when food-and-drink-laden events abound, and we’re often spending more time with family members, or spending time with more family members, than usual. Holidays with family are meant to be a time to break bread together and share in joy, abundance, and love. Yet for those who struggle with disordered eating, the food and family combo can be overwhelming.
Learning to navigate situations such as these that can be emotionally charged because of interpersonal dynamics as well... Read More
December 6th, 2010 |
Santa Claus lived long ago in a far away land, far from the United States, in the hills of Bavaria before Thomas Nast drew the first caricature of a rollie-pollie man who evolved into the one depicted in advertisements today. Santa was an original Bohemian, you might say. He was well known in his community as a toy designer and artist who crafted a variety of toys including wooden horses, paper kites, ceramic dolls, stuffed animals and one of-a-kind puppets. In his studio, located on a mountainside, he used his imagination to create characters that portrayed personality aspects belonging to... Read More
December 6th, 2010 |
Every year there is a great deal of talk in the media about holiday depression and how to cope with it. They talk about many important factors—financial fears, over-eating, over-drinking, being around family members who’ve hurt you, dark, cold gloomy weather, grief about not being with people who’ve died or left, stress and disappointment.
They tell you to exercise, don’t over-eat or over-drink, to set realistic expectations, not to over-extend in what you offer to do. All of this is true and sound advice. I don’t think it’s useful for me to rehash this, because anyone can read... Read More
