By Joyce A. Thompson, MS, LMFT, Abuse / Survivors of Abuse Topic Expert Contributor

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Many survivors of childhood abuse are very skilled at avoiding their feelings. You might ask why they would do this, but it actually makes a lot of sense. As a helpless child, when you are ‘trapped’ in an abusive household and were either subjected to daily or sporadic abuse, the feelings were overwhelmingly painful. You either knew that you would be constantly bombarded day-after-day with abuse and the resultant flooding of emotions, or that you would be ‘hit’ with the abuse eventually – when you least expected it, also resulting in a flooding of emotions. Eventually, children in these situations just wanted to escape the emotional pain. So they slowly began to avoid the painful emotions – both consciously and unconsciously. Read the rest of this entry

By Evelyn Goodman, Psy.D, LMFT, Anxiety Topic Expert Contributor

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The reaction of your body to anger is very similar to the reaction of your body to fear. They are both reactions of the fight or flight part of the brain. This creates confusion for some people; you can be reacting in anger but interpret it as anxiety since your body is reacting with many of the same symptoms: sweating, trembling, tense muscles.

Anger is a powerful and difficult emotion for people who have not yet learned anger-management skills. Some people do not feel their angry feelings because they were taught that it wasn’t nice to get angry. Or perhaps they grew up afraid of someone’s anger or rage and decided to repress their own. Others get angry very easily and often. Sometimes feeling angry replaces other feelings such as fear or or sadness–more vulnerable emotions. Read the rest of this entry

A GoodTherapy.org News Headline

Emotional intelligence, or EI, is quickly becoming a more pronounced topic in the field of mental health as more professionals tune in to the benefits this personality trait can have for their clients. But EI may also be essential for professionals themselves, suggests a researcher from the University of Stavanger in Norway. The researcher has advised that as rates of depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns climb among the population, greater attention to client emotions among general practice physicians and other health care workers may both help to identify and seek treatment for relevant issues.

© Copyright 2010 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Washington, DC Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

By Anne Ream, ATR-BC, LPC

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For the past 64 years I have been asking, “What is soul? What is spirit?” During my middle adult years I began to realize that, because I have spent my life working empathetically with people, I had become a kind of “Soul gardener” and a “Soul collector.” Most of my memories are of people, their faces, emotional stories and expressions. As I looked up the words “spirit” and “soul” I discovered that they are used interchangeably, and that the word “emotion” is an essential, fundamental part of the definition of both words. In this article I explore the characteristic of emotion in spirit or soul. I believe it is vital. Because I feel uncomfortable with an intellectually created dichotomy between the words, “feelings” and “emotions”, I use those words interchangeably.

From the time it was founded as a science, the field of psychology has been evolving. The idea that we can help people improve their emotional health through the use and changing of thoughts and behaviors has been a well documented and highly approved approach since the 1960s. The relative efficacy of cognitive behavioral therapy has been established. Throughout these years I have been asking, “What about emotions? “ Fortunately, I have not been alone. Read the rest of this entry

By Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., Body-Mind Psychotherapy Topic Expert Contributor

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Eileen swallows her feelings and gets tired out.
Eileen spent her forty-fifth birthday with her elderly mother who complained about the food being cold and bland. Eileen bit her tongue and tried to make something more appetizing. Her sister called to wish her a happy birthday, then made excuses as to why she couldn’t take care of their mother next weekend. Eileen was outraged that she was expected to be the dutiful child while her siblings got away with it. She ground her teeth, stuffed the indignation and continued with her chores. She was tired and didn’t want to create family tensions.

At the birthday dinner that evening Eileen heard Jasper and the kids fight. She was upset that the family bickering never took a rest. She was hurt that no one considered her feelings. She felt lonely, sad and unimportant at that moment. Fighting back tears, Eileen took a sip of water and swallowed her feelings. She stepped in and made the peace. Drained of energy and enthusiasm Eileen pretended to enjoy herself when the cake and candles arrived. Read the rest of this entry

A GoodTherapy.org News Headline

Being able to recognize emotional activity within others is one of the most important aspects of social interaction, and difficulties with such tasks can have a negative impact on the lives of many people, spawning interest in creating ways to help trigger recognition. Recently, a team from the York Neuroimaging Centre at the University of York used the MagnetoEncephaloGraphic, or MEG, equipment retained by the school to study electrical activity in the brains of participants. Results showed that participants were most engaged when exposed to both audio and imagery of emotions as opposed to either stimulus alone. With greater investigation, this information may help create better programs for those who have difficulty perceiving or identifying emotions in others.

© Copyright 2009 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Minneapolis Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

A GoodTherapy.org News Headline

There is plenty of anecdotal evidence to suggest that in general, women are better able to identify emotions than men. But until recently, it has been difficult to secure objective, meaningful findings upon which furhter research can be based. The need for such evidence has been addressed recently with the completion of a study performed at Université de Montréal. The study tested women and men for their powers of identification of fear and disgust, two important emotions in terms of psychological evolution. Using live and recorded actors, the study was able to incorporate facial movements, an aspect of emotion identification that has been absent in previous efforts. The research may help develop tools to help men improve their ability to perceive others.

© Copyright 2009 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Ann Arbor Bureau - All Rights Reserved.

GoodTherapy.org Featured Column written by Judith Barr, MA, LMHC

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A few weeks ago, I spent the morning with a group of financial planners in Atlanta. It was a delicious experience . . . from the moments before my talk began, when several of the members introduced themselves and thanked me for coming to their meeting . . . through the talk, and two heart-touching demonstrations of my work with the root of people’s relationships with money . . . to the harvesting, during which many participants acknowledged they realized they knew they needed to do their own work for themselves and they knew they needed to do their own work if they were going to help their clients.*

I was moved again and again as these open, willing, courageous men and women allowed me to touch them with the truth . . . that nothing we do with our money in the here and now will create a sustaining and sustainable relationship with money . . . until we do the inner work on our relationship with money. No matter how well we budget our money; no matter how much money we save; no matter how wisely we spend; no matter how well we plan. That the only thing that will create a sustainable relationship with money is doing our own inner healing work with the root of our relationship with money . . . which inevitably leads to some other aspect of our life experience and our psyche that is calling out for healing and growth. Read the rest of this entry

By Anne Ream ATR-BC, LPC

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“Opposites attract” is an old quotation that has validity. People are often attracted to a partner whose emotional style differs from their own.

What is an emotional style? Personality can describe emotional style. Introverted or extroverted is one good example. Highly expressive of emotions or highly reserved is another example. Our emotional style is the result of our genetic inheritance and how our parents attached to us when we were infants. Given enough time and appropriate help we can change our emotional style if we choose.

Having an individual emotional style is fine unless a person begins to have difficulty with relationships. Relationships are vital for a fulfilling and healthy life. When an individual has difficulty developing healthy relationships, she could consider what might be going on within themselves that results in this difficulty.

At times, the problem can be the result of two people having very different emotional styles. However, since opposites do attract, it’s important for each partner to ask themselves, “I felt attracted to this person because they were so expressive (or reserved), now I feel disgusted by it, why?” The resulting answer may be to blame the other person and abdicate personal responsibility. Unfortunately blame is often what happens; one partner is perceived as, “the problem,” and that person is selected to go to therapy. Read the rest of this entry

By Anne Ream ATR-BC, LPC

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For many years, I felt uncomfortable when someone started talking about another person’s “attitude.” It always seemed as if the speaker was simply angry and wanted to make the other person change, often using their own negative attitude. When the angry party exploded with “I don’t like your attitude,” it was as if they fully expected the other person to magically manifest a better one. This did not make sense to me. As a result, I’ve done a lot of thinking about what an attitude really is.

In the course of cognitive behavioral studies I’ve learned that when it comes to the concept of an “attitude,” there are a number of factors involved. The first is a situation, the second is a collection of thoughts a person has about that situation, the third is a collection of feelings surrounding the situation, and the fourth is comprised of behaviors that result from these thoughts and feelings. Based on these factors, I asked the question “what part of the equation is an attitude?”. It’s not the situation, nor is it a thought or a feeling, so it must have something to do with behavior. Indeed, an attitude is a set of small behaviors. An attitude is comprised of facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language, all of which express an individual’s thoughts and feelings. Read the rest of this entry