Category: Emotional Abuse
The Good Therapy Blog
December 15th, 2011 |
There are ways of handling things that just shoot you in the foot, and then there are ways that have the other person willingly and happily eating out of your hand. Which would you rather it was?
In this article, I’ve taken extensive material from the web, from books, from years of my own research, and from my site and consolidated it into a ten-point scale, with 1 being the least aggressive and 10 being unquestionably abusive. Each value on the scale is a template for an abusive type of statement. I hope you find the scale to be helpful.
1 – “Do you think I’m stupid?”
This statement... Read More
November 28th, 2011 |
Do you remember your first bully…the girl who called you fat, mocked your choice in clothes, or spread false rumors about you? Of course you do. It’s like a first kiss, a first drink, the first time you drove a car. Only this is a memory you wish you could forget. You may not recall her exact words, but you remember the girl, the time, the place. Did you ever wonder why she did it, what provoked her meanness, how she got to wield so much power?
Bullying is an intentional act of aggression in which the perpetrator belittles, controls, intimidates or harms another person. Attacks are often... Read More
October 4th, 2011 |
Bullying has been hitting headlines lately in strong force. Newspapers have been littered with horror stories of bullying, and states have attempted to address the issue through legislation. Historically, the impact of bullying has been minimized by the general public due to a general perception that being the recipient of such behavior is a rite of passage and that “everyone goes through it”. This may be factually correct, but whether this rite of passage is something we want to maintain is being challenged, and rightfully so.
Many of the teens and adults I see in my practice hold onto... Read More
September 29th, 2011 |
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Women with substance use issues are more likely to also struggle with eating issues than women without substance issues, and similarly, women with eating issues are at increased risk for substance use problems. In both these groups of women, a common risk factor is impulsivity. “Recent research has identified that negative urgency, the tendency to act rashly in response to negative affect, is a contributor to distress-driven rash or impulsive action,” said Sarah Fischer of the University of Georgia and lead author of a study exploring the... Read More
© Copyright 2011 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Charlotte Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
September 3rd, 2011 |
The most common forms of intimate partner violence (IPV) are sexual violence, sexual coercion, psychological abuse and physical abuse and each causes significant psychological problems. “Many victims of intimate partner violence (IPV) experience negative mental health outcomes including anxiety problems, substance abuse, depression, and suicidal ideation,” said Amber Norwood and Christopher Murphy of the University of Maryland. “Most notable are high... Read More
© Copyright 2011 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist San Antonio Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
September 1st, 2011 |
Please note: This article does NOT apply in cases of violence or abuse. There can be nothing “right” about such a relationship.
Feels so bad it’s good
He doesn’t usually call when he says he will.
He’s not great at expressing affection – especially in public.
He doesn’t seem all that interested in introducing you to his friends.
You can’t get him out of your mind. He’s catnip!
Why does it sometimes feel so right to be with Mr. Wrong?
If his behavior is driving you nuts, and that pattern doesn’t change and it doesn’t lead to a breakup, it must be because – are... Read More
July 7th, 2011 |
When we think of a bully we might be reminded of a big kid from school who used his or her size to intimidate others. Maybe we have an image from some television show or movie of a hulking being pushing others around. As a couples counselor I can tell you bullies come in all shapes and sizes. They can be demur women and they can be medium sized men. They can be kind in their presentation and underneath they can be steaming with anger and come out harsh. ... Read More
June 29th, 2011 |
A psychology professor at California State Long Beach has compiled an impressive pile of data – over 500 studies! – that suggests that women are at least as if not more physically aggressive than men in their intimate relationships. In a 2008 ABC News “What Would You Do?” segment, actors played out two scenarios in public: a man verbally abusing his female partner, then shaking her and pulling her hair, followed by a woman doing the same to him. In the first instance,... Read More
April 21st, 2011 |
I decided to dedicate myself to investigating and writing about the experience of body in transgendered people. Though I am by no means “expert” in working with this population, I have learned significantly from clients I have worked with who identified themselves as transgendered. I set out to organize my observations and insights by grounding them in current research, to offer something of use to the reader that was legitimized by work in the field. It struck me that in looking at body appearance satisfaction we could learn a lot from people who experience being born with, and living with,... Read More
March 31st, 2011 |
My 85 year old father had a stroke recently. He is a survivor of the Holocaust, as was my mother of blessed memory. My father has survived once again.
My parents withstood emotional and physical abuse to its extreme and while they loved me with all their heart, one of the by products of their own torture included emotional and verbal abuse towards people they loved, including me. Several years ago when I was visiting the Holocaust Museum in Washington D.C., I stood in front of a ceiling to floor photograph of a survivor in a tattooed black and white striped prisoner uniform.. This man bore an... Read More
March 11th, 2011 |
Full permission has been given by the client to tell this story on GoodTherapy.org. All identifying information has been changed.
The client ‘Jimmy’ that I described in the previous blog, who created a video project in art psychotherapy, has completed his video. He decided sometime ago that he wanted to upload it to YouTube. His intention was to come out from hiding his story and to possibly help others who are struggling with their own past experiences. His decision was an opportunity to discuss in therapy the possible... Read More
January 24th, 2011 |
NOT power OVER, but power WITH! How often have you heard this phrase, almost a chant, seeming to clarify, simplify, and resolve issues about power with just these six words. I’d like to invite you to look deeper.
From my perspective, there are two significant ways to misuse professional and personal power: over-using it and under-using it. In my Right Use of Power programs, I ask people, literally, to line up on a continuum based on their own assessment of where they tend to find themselves, One extreme end of the continuum is overuse of power and the other extreme end is underuse of power.... Read More
January 19th, 2011 |
When a loved one hurts you through excessive criticism, put downs or abuse of any kind, you experience emotional and often simultaneous physical pain. But can emotional abuse be considered traumatic? Dr. Francine Shapiro defines two types of trauma, "big T" trauma and "little t" trauma. "Big T" trauma refers to what we commonly think of as trauma like war or natural disaster. "Little t" trauma refers to incidents such as getting teased as a child or getting rejected by your first love. Most people experience "little t" trauma some time in their lives. People who live with and love someone emotionally... Read More
January 5th, 2011 |
Some problems manifest themselves differently for women than for men. Alcoholism is one of them. While both genders can suffer equally from the ravages of this disorder, women often abuse alcohol for different reasons, metabolize alcohol differently, and suffer unique health consequences. Approximately one-third of alcoholics in the U.S. are women, and compared to men, those with the most severe dependence tend to develop more serious problems. Women alcoholics may be treated more harshly by our society, carry more shame about their behavior, and show a more rapid progression of the disorder... Read More
