Category: Communication Problems
The Good Therapy Blog
September 2nd, 2011 |
How often do you want sex? And is that enough? Not wanting enough sex is the big problem for most women who consult me as a clinical sexologist. And most sex therapists will agree that having a low level of sexual desire is a problem. But the majority of these women are heterosexual with male partners who are – you guessed it – complaining. Lesbian couples don’t usually present with similar problems. So I guess I should say “relatively low levels of sexual desire!”
Over and over again I’ve found that moving in together does create a drop in frequency of sexual activity for all... Read More
September 1st, 2011 |
Please note: This article does NOT apply in cases of violence or abuse. There can be nothing “right” about such a relationship.
Feels so bad it’s good
He doesn’t usually call when he says he will.
He’s not great at expressing affection – especially in public.
He doesn’t seem all that interested in introducing you to his friends.
You can’t get him out of your mind. He’s catnip!
Why does it sometimes feel so right to be with Mr. Wrong?
If his behavior is driving you nuts, and that pattern doesn’t change and it doesn’t lead to a breakup, it must be because – are... Read More
August 31st, 2011 |
Kids are notorious for separating mom and dad. I am not talking about separation as far as divorce. I am talking about when a child asks dad about having ice-cream before dinner; knowing the answer will be “NO” from mom, they go and ask dad who may say “Yes”.
Kids are only looking out for their own interest. This is normal and part of the developmental stage they are at, especially if they are very young. Kids also know that one parent is the “weaker link”. Based upon their cries, tantrums, pouts or even being funny and silly, if one parent gives into them, more often than not, that... Read More
August 25th, 2011 |
Every one in a relationship wants to feel loved by their partner. To feel loved, many individuals will put on a happy face and maintain a persona that everything is fine, even when it isn’t. Often people are so good at acting like they are happy that the partner has no idea anything could be wrong.
Unfortunately, if you are projecting a happy demeanor when communicating with your partner, you may feel stuck in one place and very much alone. That’s because a lot of other feelings; sad, disappointed, mad, irritated, frustrated, fed up, discouraged, disheartened, worried, nervous, unsafe etc.... Read More
August 19th, 2011 |
It’s nearly impossible these days to pick up the paper or turn on the news without learning of yet another study or statistic indicating a weak recovery or a chronic recession. While it has taken its toll on families and communities in the way of foreclosures and bankruptcy, the recession has struck at marriages too. Many couples would admit that it has increased tension and even conflict in their relationship.
An article by Ron Lieber appearing in the New York Times in 2010... Read More
August 12th, 2011 |
Researchers wanted to determine if marital conflict led to depressive symptoms in committed couples, or if the presence of depressive symptoms increased marital conflict. “Poor relationship quality is a significant risk factor for both diagnostic and sub-clinical levels of depressive symptoms, and depressive symptoms increase the risk of relationship... Read More
© Copyright 2011 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Brooklyn Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
August 11th, 2011 |
If you remember from last month, Ellen had to decide about attending her friend Robin’s wedding, to be held in a far away resort- it would be a lot of fun, but Ellen didn’t have enough money to go and couldn’t take time off from her new job, either- she was scared she might be fired- she liked the job a lot, and jobs can be hard to come by. On the other... Read More
August 10th, 2011 |
Researchers from the Netherlands, Canada and San Francisco, collaborated on a study that evaluated the relationship between depressive symptoms and self-disclosure in partners dealing with cancer. The team enlisted 64 participants who had been recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer, and their partners. They assessed the individuals for depressive symptoms using the Center for Epidemiological... Read More
© Copyright 2011 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Austin Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
August 9th, 2011 |
How many times have you heard something like this in your household?
“You remember. I told you about it last week. You said you were fine with it.”
“What? No you didn’t. This is the first I’ve heard about it!”
Whether it’s a teenager talking about a social event, or a spouse talking about a business trip, family life is full of conversations that only the speaker seems to remember! Misconnections, hurt feelings, and chronic frustration... Read More
July 28th, 2011 |
In the United States people who experience discrimination and oppression are often stereotyped as “angry.” For example, the stereotype of the “angry black woman” is reinforced in the popular media over and over and over again. The result of this stereotyping, for people who do experience oppression and discrimination, is a message that they should not be angry. For people of color, ethnic minorities, religious minorities, sexual... Read More
July 27th, 2011 |
It’s a classic. Of all the themes in the history of relational strife, the I’m Right, You’re Wrong story is by far the most common. And like many things common, we often take it for granted or overlook the magnitude of its influence. When couples enter into therapy together, it may be a hidden goal for each of them to convince their therapist that they are right and the other is wrong. They demonstrate this in many ways, either subtly or in more painfully blatant... Read More
July 25th, 2011 |
I don’t know about you, but the last thing I need to worry about right now is if my credit card interest rates are going to skyrocket, the banks are going to stop lending, or what the precarious future of my investment portfolio will be like if those folks in Washington don’t figure out how to all just get along. My oldest son will start college in one year, and because the new governor of the great state of Florida has already done away with the state funded... Read More
July 25th, 2011 |
Teens often tell me their parents don't understand, don't listen or don't care about what they think. Parents wonder why their lectures fall on deaf ears. How do we bridge this communication gap? Parents often want to lecture instead of listen. Teens have heard it before and already know what their parents are going to say. As a result, the only purpose of a lecture is to make parents feel better.
Let's looks at some alternative techniques that... Read More
July 19th, 2011 |
Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love. To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. As a result, we may avoid saying what is on our mind and put aside our own feelings and needs. This inhibiting of the self can be harmful to our relationships and can create the conditions for developing anxiety and depression.
Marlene, a 27... Read More
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