Category: Attachment
The Good Therapy Blog
November 30th, 2010 |
So far this series has explored how the body-mind reacts to situations in early life where there is stress from external tension or inconsistent care. But what happens when care is forthcoming to the point where a growing child feels stifled? Let’s conjure up a scenario to explore this.
Imagine a child who is oohed and ahh-ed over. This is a good thing right? Right, but the saying “everything in moderation” has merit even here. When a baby is fondled and oohed and ahh-ed over, it is meant as encouragement and an exchange of joy- this is essential for healthy development. But for... Read More
September 9th, 2010 |
“It feels heavy right here,” Rebecca* said, crying and touching her chest, “like a huge rock is sitting on me. It’s like that old cartoon, where a boulder would fall off a cliff and pin the roadrunner to the ground – it feels like I can’t move.” Rebecca had come to see me last year, a 32 year-old successful marketing professional, whose older sister had recently been diagnosed with a psychotic condition. She seemed lost in grief. Fluctuating bewilderment, sadness, fear, anger, tenderness, and love were tying knots in every part of her.
I thought that untying some of the knots in... Read More
April 19th, 2010 |
A few days ago, I headed into the locker room at my gym after a workout. A TV set there was tuned to a morning talk show hosted by a couple of women, who were talking to their guest, a dietician, about yo-yo dieting. The hosts peppered their guest with questions, speaking so quickly it was giving me a headache. “What’s the best way to lose weight?” “What should you do if you want to lose weight really fast?” The poor dietician was attempting to explain the effects on the body of losing and re-gaining weight, the functions of ghrelin and leptin, hormones that are involved in appetite regulation,... Read More
March 22nd, 2010 |
There are a number of excellent books about attachment, parenting, and treatment. I will describe in this article two books I have written that both therapists and parents may find valuable. In future articles I will describe other helpful books for therapists and parents.
Attachment Parenting: Developing Connections and Healing Children, edited by Arthur Becker-Weidman & Deborah Shell (2010, NY: Jason Aronson), is written specifically for parents. Professionals will find the text useful as well. Professionals (therapists, child welfare workers,... Read More
December 3rd, 2009 |
In a previous article I described what attachment is and how it develops. The attachment system is a proximity seeking system that evolved to ensure the survival of the human infant. It operates like your home heating and cooling system. If everything is fine (safe) you don’t see the system operating. When things get out of bounds, the heating or cooling system starts to operate. When a person feels some threat, the attachment system becomes activated and attachment behaviors are evoked. Attachment behaviors are proximity seeking behaviors that draw the person closer to a preferred caregiver.... Read More
November 27th, 2009 |
Here is one easy parenting tool that will change your life. It will also change your child’s life – his or her entire life – for the better. It is called The 80-20 Rule.
The 80-20 Rule is a “magic” ratio. It is the ratio that lays the foundation for an excellent relationship between you and your child. It is the ratio that builds and maintains ALL of your parenting power. Simply put, this ratio is the ratio that creates a solid enough bond... Read More
November 13th, 2009 |
If you are one of the many out there who finds yourself in repetitive patterns of unhealthy relationships, perhaps you might benefit from identifying your attachment style – which not only could answer some fundamental questions for you around your relationship “triggers” but also provide clues as to why you attract certain types of people.
There is great deal of research out there on infant attachment (John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth to name a few) about how early interactions with caregivers set up “internal working models”... Read More
November 9th, 2009 |
In a previous article I described what attachment is and how it develops. As I described, the attachment system is a proximity seeking system that evolved to ensure the survival of the human infant. It operates like your home heating and cooling system. If everything is fine (safe) you don’t see the system operating. When things get out of bounds, the heating or cooling system starts to operate. When a person feels some threat, the attachment system becomes activated and attachment behaviors are evoked. Attachment behaviors are proximity seeking behaviors that draw the person closer to... Read More
September 30th, 2009 |
Attachment is the foundation upon which all human relationships are built, and touted by many as the most powerful predictor of all life successes. It is a wonder that something this integral to human existence is also so often overlooked and misunderstood by therapists who are considered relationship experts. When examining social work and counseling graduate degree programs, I am not surprised to find the typical program to have one obligatory course entitled... Read More
September 30th, 2009 |
In this first article I'd like to briefly describe what attachment is. Broadly speaking, "attachment" generally refers to a connection between two. Informally, people talk about being "attached" to a person, a pet, a place, a thing. More specifically, attachment refers to an enduring emotional tie between two people. It is based on an emotional tie and grounded in trust and built upon a history of shared experiences (in technical terms, concordant intersubjectivity is experience in which emotion, attention, and intention... Read More
August 30th, 2008 |
A team of researchers – three at Florida State University and one at Yale – have completed a persuasive study of Behavior Management Training (BMT) for treating Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). The study, published in the journal Child Maltreatment, offers findings are encouraging to proponents of the classic reward and punishment system, and will likely lead to larger control studies.
RAD is a severe childhood disorder in which children display... Read More
