Category: Anger
The Good Therapy Blog
November 5th, 2010 |
When November arrives, depression is not far behind. Something about the turn of the season, less daylight, less outdoor activities, the holiday bustle nudging its way back into consciousness can make some people turn inward and find deep dissatisfaction in their lives. Deep dissatisfaction can show up as a persistent weight pulling you down. Sometimes it is hard to get out of bed, to do anything. Most people are able to cope with these feelings by ‘pushing through’ or ‘acting as if’ they are feeling alright. Enrolling in new classes, filling calendars with arts, sports, theater, shopping... Read More
November 3rd, 2010 |
People who have been in long marriages or relationships get to know each other rather well. They can often anticipate what the other person might say or do or think or want......you get the picture. In loving relationships, partners might sometimes have a reliance on each other to know what each other wants without having to tell or explain....and sometimes they can and do just that. It might help them to feel loved, recognized and appreciated. The “knowing” of the other person is experienced through a positive filter.
In a divorce, this feeling of knowing may get you into trouble. At a... Read More
October 29th, 2010 |
Shirking duties was guaranteed to get Ezra angry
With a heaving chest and throbbing temples, Ezra clenched his jaws in anger when he found that the vegetables at the restaurant were unprepared. It was bad enough that local farmers had not supplied the eggplant he ordered for his signature dish. To find that Danny, his deputy hadn’t trimmed the artichokes was unbelievable. Anger turned to rage as Ezra started to cut away at the artichokes imagining punishing Danny with each knife stroke.
Danny arrived ten minutes later and was greeted with a scathing attack, questioning his judgment, and... Read More
October 27th, 2010 |
Temper tantrums can be very frustrating to deal with. All children have a temper tantrum at one point in time or another. They can happen in the home, school, in grocery stores but may not necessarily happen when the child is at another person’s house.
Temper tantrums is a child’s way of expressing their anger and frustration when they do not get their way, there is difficulty expressing their feelings or they know that when they do have a tantrum, they will get their way.
Parents can be easily frustrated because the tantrums are not always easily dealt with, especially when the tantrum... Read More
October 25th, 2010 |
So often when the topic of Sexual Addiction comes up, the primary focus is on the sex addict, the symptoms and causes of sex addiction, and the journey to freedom from sexual addiction. While this is certainly a much needed focal point, something very important often gets overlooked and that is the effect sexual betrayal has on the spouse of the sex addict! Can you imagine waking up one day to find the world and spouse you thought was one thing but then realize that it is not only completely different, but that you have been betrayed! Certainly there are times when a spouse suspects or feels... Read More
October 19th, 2010 |
* This blog is a follow-to Richard's previous article, "Who's in Charge - Understanding Men Today"
Why do so many men sabotage relationships and careers? Current cultural stereotypes of men range from bumbling incompetence to aggressive, macho insensitivity. I’ve worked with men in therapy and personal growth workshops for over 25 years, and I’ve identified a type of adult man I call the LATE Men, Lost, Angry Teens, and they are often stuck in an adolescent level of development – literally,... Read More
October 7th, 2010 |
When confronted with your three year old’s “I hate you, mom”, it is not easy to step back and consider that, if you respond with curiosity or acceptance, you may be giving your child a significant lesson about how to have a successful relationship. Tolerating a child’s hate and anger without attacking back or expressing hurt, communicates that you can withstand your child’s destructive wishes. It models that if he, too, were on the receiving end of hostility, he would be all right. It normalizes the expression of negativity and helps a child consider that he is not bad for having... Read More
October 4th, 2010 |
Should Elijah be concerned about his mole?
Elijah nicked a mole on his upper lip while shaving one morning. He covered it with tape and went on with his busy day. Managing his fine arts import company and finding distributors that would sell the fine porcelain gave him enormous pride and self-esteem. He enjoyed making a reality out of the unpredictable nature of the business. Rain or shine, sick or not Elijah never missed a day. He always had his finger on the pulse of every part of the trade, and that’s what helped him sleep at night.
Malignant melanoma diagnosis shocks Elijah
He didn’t... Read More
October 1st, 2010 |
Byron tried hard to please but his anger got in the way
Byron’s anger terrified him. He did everything he could to avoid feeling it and showing it when it washed over him. He wanted to die of shame every time he saw his girlfriend’s fear and distress. He didn’t intend to hurt or scare her. She was the one good thing in his life and he would do anything to keep her. Byron’s anger was inexplicable to him. He didn’t feel it coming on and by the time it was evident, it was too late. Beverly was already anticipating something awful. Anger turned to shame and self-castigation. Byron flogged... Read More
September 20th, 2010 |
So let's say you come home from work and it was an ok day. Perhaps you have been feeling stress (a lot of work needing to be done, even though you are managing it, or family stress, the start of another school year, etc.). Ever noticed being at home and then finding yourself irritable with those around you? Maybe you find yourself reacting to what a calmer you would think, "This is not such a big deal. Why am I so upset?" This happens to me too.
When I am at my best, I will then apologize and ask for a little time to myself. Backing out of the moment gives me time to reflect on what the heck... Read More
September 3rd, 2010 |
In my practice, people trace depression back to trauma most of the time. Emotional trauma is an overwhelming shock to a person’s equilibrium. This may mean getting attacked emotionally, physically or sexually, or witnessing such attacks. It can happen in war, rape, murder, accidents, and even well-intentioned medical procedures. It can also happen in single or repeated incidents of shaming or emotional/verbal attack. It can even happen when heart-breaking losses of any kind occur.
When people are traumatized, it often shapes something they believe about themselves or about life. These trauma-induced... Read More
September 3rd, 2010 |
Slow down and listen.
When we communicate, sometimes we ignore what our partner is saying. Instead of focusing on our partner, our thoughts are consumed with what we plan to say next. If you pay attention to your partner's words, and then you reflect back what you hear them say or feel, then they will feel heard. As a result, you will be on the road to a resolution of the issue. Does someone in your life, maybe yourself, constantly repeat a message over and over? It is probably because said person does not feel heard.
Try reflective listening and see if you can stop that person from repeating.... Read More
August 31st, 2010 |
Anger and hate consumed Sebastian
Anger that his marriage hadn’t worked out the way he hoped washed over Sebastian from the minute he woke up. He was angry with his selfish wife. He was angry that she didn’t seem to want to help their son with his homework or encourage him in sports. Sebastian was angry that he had to take care of everything at home while Loretta showed little concern for the family.
Anger became stronger when Sebastian compared work to home life
Teaching music to kids at school was his only escape. The lack of joint rhythms in his marriage was countered by the magical... Read More
August 20th, 2010 |
A GoodTherapy.org News Summary
Few would argue against classifying anger and fear as negative emotions, or against classifying excitement as a positive one. But new research shows that, in some ways, anger has more in common with excitement than it has in common with fear. Researchers at Boston College wanted to explore how emotions alter the things we pay attention to. That emotion and attention are linked has already been established, but Brett Q. Ford, Maya Tamir, and four other authors wanted to look at a specific emotion—anger—to... Read More
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