The Price Paid for Being the Perfect Child
Being considered a “perfect child” by one’s parents feels fantastic. Basking in the glow from parents’ approval and love can feel safe and special, like one is living in a magical world where everyone is happy and satisfied. These feelings are very seductive. The child is usually not aware that they pay a price in order to maintain the parents’ continued extraordinary approval. That price is the giving up of one’s unique sense of self in order to comply and be the child and then the adult that the parents adore. Being kept on a pedestal distracts from being aware that one has wants... Read More
Toxic friends come in many forms—they can take much more than they add to the friendship; they can be a chronic complainer; they can tear you down—but the bottom line is that when you walk away from time spent with a toxic friend, you probably feel worse for the wear. If you think you might have a toxic friend in your life, take a moment to reflect on how you usually feel after being with this friend; if what you come up with includes words like drained, tired, unmotivated, worthless, or even downright depressed, you quite likely have a toxic friend. While it might be easy to identify the toxic... 
Quick, would you prefer 100 million dollars right now or a penny that that doubles every day for a year? Next question, would you like to be cured of your depression, relationship problems, eating disorder, or addiction immediately or would you like to work on it?
On first glance, the answer to both questions seems obvious. I'll take the $100 million and I want to be cured of my mental illness, marital discord, and alcohol abuse, thank you.
Now do the math. If you take a penny and double it every day you'll have 5 million dollars in the first month. You'll have a billion dollars before the... 
Families need to be together. After all, the family as a group exists to provide support, nurturance, food, shelter, resources, and a stable future to each member. While most families have their ups and downs, even stressed, impoverished, chaotic families want to live with one another. When is it in the family’s best interest for members to separate from one another? Can leaving the family home for a short while ever bring healing to the relationships in the long run?
Family separations occur in American culture in formal and informal ways. Formally, families can legally be ordered to separate... 
Love is one of the most elemental of emotions—it is a building block to some of our deepest relationships and a component in many of our happiest days. Yet the ability to freely give and receive love is a fragile skill, which traumatic experiences can all too easily dent or damage. Learning how to be loved is a vital part of your healing, and here are a few tips on how to regain your ability to accept someone’s care, concern, and nurture.
The first set of tips have to do with the person who is expressing kindness, care, concern, nurture, attention, aka love to you. Because you have experienced... 
Many people, but primarily young, educated, Western women, struggle to sustain a positive body image—for a multitude of reasons that have been discussed in previous posts. Often a negative body image leads to a poor relationship with the body and other aspects of self. It is associated with impoverished self-care and unhealthy eating and lifestyle habits.
Having a negative body image is related to general low self-esteem and depression or anxiety. Women with poor body image often struggle with boundaries in relationship to self and others. In this post, I will attempt to shed some light on... 
“Sam” and “Ellen” have been married for 42 years. They have had a good life together. They’ve raised 4 children and have 11 grandchildren. They’ve had their ups and downs but have always managed to get through the hard times, until now.
Sam’s diagnosis of stage IV prostate cancer has really thrown them for a loop. They’ve just had their first visit with the oncologist, who was very nice and explained things very well. However, out of the entire visit, each of them only really heard one thing. Sam heard that treatment will make him impotent, and Ellen heard that the 5-year survival... 
The number of women who serve in the military and engage in combat is at an all-time high. The serious negative psychological consequences of being exposed to combat situations are well documented in male and female veterans. Those who return from war zones are at increased risk for many mental health problems, including 
“When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.”
― George Bernard Shaw
Ask any bride and groom on their wedding day, “Will your marriage last a lifetime?” They will look at you like you have three heads and reply, “Of course.” And that is truly what every bride and groom believes. As we know all too well, one out of two of them will be wrong.
There are three truths... 
In my efforts as a counselor, helping couples and individuals raise children with autism, I've combined what I learned in school with what I've learned in my own journey. My last blog talked about that gravitational pull autism has on a family. I'd like to address a few ways we can limit that pull from affecting every aspect of our lives negatively. These are not quick fixes, and you won't find a step-by-step guide here. It's a process that requires daily practice, much like yoga. There is no end point, and you will not have “arrived”; it's ongoing. I like to call it living mindfully and with... 
What would you do? An important romantic figure from your past finds you on an internet social media site. Perhaps this was your first love. This renewed connection brings to mind the passion and enthusiasm of youth—before children, financial problems, and middle age. In your mind, you travel back to a time before career worries, mortgage problems, and thinning hair to a time of anticipation, optimism, and more energy. What would you do? Is it a wrong choice to maintain contact on-line? Is it wrong to have a texting relationship? Where do you draw the line? What is the line that would determine... 
According to a new study led by Bert N. Uchino of the Department of Psychology and Health Psychology Program at the University of Utah, ambivalent interpersonal relationships cause telomeres, chromosomal structures that maintain a person’s biological balance, to shorten. Short telomeres have been linked with increased risk for heart disease, infection, and decreased cellular life. Research has supported the theory that negative relationships are directly related to increased 
Anthony kind of slumped into the office and comfortably settled himself into the easy chair. “Doc,” he said, “I’m here to find out if my marriage is over. To me, it seems like it really is.” He went on to explain that his wife, Julie, and he had been living two separate lives for as long as he could remember. She was very involved with the children’s activities; she worked full time and had a rather hectic schedule as a corporate attorney. They rarely ate together and their conversations, though cordial, were impersonal.
“She had a function at work and invited me to come,” he... 
