Category: Inadequacy
The Good Therapy Blog
May 15th, 2012 |
On mornings when I’m lucky enough to have free time, I go to a yoga class taught by an excellent teacher, named Mark. Many of his students have been studying yoga for years and are pretty advanced. Today we began as usual with warm ups, accompanied by Mark’s explanations and his questions. Mark’s teaching practice is a bit unusual—he generally asks the class questions, some rhetorical, some not, as he explains the theory behind the practice.
The man on the mat next to me, whom I’ll call Harry, answered all Mark’s questions right away, with military precision.
“Why do yoga?”
“To... Read More
May 1st, 2012 |
There is an abundance of literature providing evidence for a link between perfectionism and depression. People who are highly self-critical with respect to perfectionism are more vulnerable to negative moods. These individuals tend to be overly harsh on themselves when they make a mistake and are extremely sensitive to the evaluations of others, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Perfectionist strivings are characterized as attempts to achieve perfection.... Read More
© Copyright 2012 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Colorado Springs Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
April 16th, 2012 |
Depression has many origins, but trauma is one of the major categories. People suffer from all kinds of traumatic experiences, but here are a few examples of how trauma could have caused you to become depressed.
1. You got bullied in school and you concluded from the experience that you were a social misfit, weak, shameful. You carried that belief into adulthood, practicing it in your mind every day. You gave up on standing up for yourself or expecting to get what you want. You focus on trying to please other people to prove your worth, and very narcissistic people who need an adoring... Read More
July 6th, 2011 |
The article is due. The performance is today. The gallery exhibit opens next week. And you’re not ready. A small voice inside your head is saying, forget it. It’s no use. You’ve lost it. What you have to say is NOT more important than what anyone else has to share with the world. You’ve never written (painted, composed or performed) anything worthwhile. And you’re frozen, immobilized, mute - again. Maybe the voice has merely turned your world from colorful to dull gray,... Read More
June 30th, 2011 |
If our children are experiencing anxiety, beginning to panic, to feel so sick they refuse school or activities we want to help them. Nevertheless, how can we help a child when they are so anxious all they can seem to think about is the stressor that is provoking their anxiety? As a parent, you do not want to make the situation worse. There are solutions to help children the following ideas can be used together or separately and with repeated practice, children can learn to decrease... Read More
June 20th, 2011 |
Self-esteem is not a thing that’s either high or low that we carry around with us. Nor is it a thing we wear to protect ourselves from pain. Self-esteem is not a thing at all: it’s an action. It’s something we do. We esteem ourselves. What high self-esteem means is that you treat yourself as someone you hold in high esteem; i.e., you act as if you like yourself.
Think about a friend you hold in high esteem. You like that person, don’t you? And because of that, you tend... Read More
June 13th, 2011 |
The far enemy of sympathetic joy is envy, and the near enemy is comparing.”
-From Devotion: A Memoir, by Dani Shapiro, page 199
How many of us go through our days comparing ourselves to others- who’s smarter, prettier, richer, taller, shorter, older, younger, etc. I don’t know about you, but I often catch myself telling myself that I’m doing it better, or worse, than somebody else. Whatever “it” is.
That was part of Ella’s problem. Ella worried; she felt guilty and anxious-... Read More
May 31st, 2011 |
Are you ill with some chronic condition but refuse to acknowledge it? Do you attempt to maintain all semblance of normalcy despite the obvious physical and emotional toll the chronic illness takes on you and your marriage? If it’s not you personally, do you know someone who fits this description? I do.
I recently spent some time at the home of my friend Amy. Amy is a married mother of two teenagers who works part-time from home and has Multiple... Read More
May 27th, 2011 |
Hey Dads. Feeling irritable and distant? Blowing a fuse for no good reason? A little nervous about your disconnection from the kids? Well here's a unique idea not always presented to fathers: You are Good Enough the way you are.
Below are some explanations and affirmations for our natural skills as men as we bond with our kids. These skills apply equally well to empowered women or single sex partners wishing to manifest more testosterone in their parenthood. It can be a lonely world ruling justly as King over one's castle (and sharing power with the Queen) but when channeled well, our King... Read More
May 11th, 2011 |
Last night I dreamt that a woman with long octopus arms was breaking into my house by slipping through the cracks in the door, which I kept shutting, and she kept opening. When I woke up I heard the phone ringing- it was my daughter, who had been out late celebrating her birthday with her boyfriend. She forgot her keys and was locked out, and I was too deep asleep to hear her ring the door bell. The bell sounds had gotten tangled in my dream life, but the phone sounds broke in.
Once awake, I got up to open the door, kissed her and wished her happy birthday. She apologized, and I gestured my... Read More
May 5th, 2011 |
Each of us has our own unique identity made up of a combination of personality traits, personal and family history, and other attributes. But what happens inside when an identity is not celebrated by a person’s community?
In Stigma: Notes on the Management of a Spoiled Identity (1963), author Erving Goffman uses the term “spoiled identity” to refer to an identity that causes a person to experience stigma. For Goffman, “stigma” describes the experience of moving through life with an attribute that is deeply discrediting. This attribute divides people into those-who-are-normal and those-who-are-not,... Read More
May 3rd, 2011 |
For some people, the answer to the question of, “What does prejudice and discrimination have to with mental health?” is clear, and for others it is not. After all, prejudice and discrimination happen to people from the outside and mental health focuses primarily on what is happening for people on the inside, right? However, as a psychotherapist, I think that understanding the impact of these outside forces on mental health is necessary and important to achieving internal balance and peace of mind.
Imagine that this morning you woke up, and the first thing that came into your head was, “I... Read More
May 3rd, 2011 |
As a therapist, I talk about feelings a lot. Building a good relationship with one’s emotions can be incredibly helpful for increasing self-confidence and peace of mind. This can be daunting to many people—some feelings seem so big and overwhelming it can be scary to acknowledge them and actually spend time with them. The idea of being on friendly terms with painful emotions is a completely foreign concept to many people. Feeling an emotion deeply in order to fully understand, accept, and transform it takes courage, confidence, and trust that the process will not result in disaster.
The... Read More
April 18th, 2011 |
It’s that time of year- spring! It’s about renewal and rebirth: life-force energy that has lain dormant through winter is now resurging above ground, driving the emergence of flowers and tender young shoots. I look out my window and can no longer see the street for the riot of leaves. Spring is a colorful illustration of the ongoing flow of life, a testament to the fact that everything is always changing.
Eating disorders are another matter entirely. Disordered eating patterns, which often seem irrational and illogical, offer protection from the unknown, the unpredictable. Rigid rules about... Read More
