By Chris Tickner, MA, MFT, Somatic Psychotherapy Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Chris and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

There comes a point and time in every growing therapist’s development when they have to let go of all the tools and tricks. They have to trust that what they have learned is now second nature, and rest into the moment, into the relationship with their client. The following story details that moment in my life.

When Tony was just two days old, the Department of Child and Family Services removed him from the care of his mother as she tested positive for cocaine and other substances. He was immediately placed into foster care and into the home of a foster mother with at least four other children. He was removed from that home due to allegations of neglect when he was eleven months, and over the next two years spent time in at least three other foster homes. By the time Tony was three, the impact of multiple placements, neglect, and exposure to drugs when in his mother’s womb was obvious. He would rock himself, bang his head on the wall or headboard of his bed. He was difficult to soothe, oppositional, would have several severe tantrums every day. His caregivers at the time struggled to find ways to control him. Read the rest of this entry

By Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., Body-Mind Psychotherapy Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Jeanette and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

It’s frustrating and annoying not to get a good night’s sleep.
Taking a long time to fall asleep was bad enough. But waking up at 2:00 a.m. and not being able to get back to sleep was frustrating and annoying. Duane worried about his performance the next day. He thought about what he should have said and done during the last twenty-four hours at work and with his girlfriend. He worked at planning ahead so he wouldn’t be caught off guard and mess up again.

Sleepless nights turn into sleepless weeks.
Sleepless nights turned into sleepless weeks. Over the counter remedies didn’t help. Nor did physical exercise, or so called ‘sleep hygiene regimens.’ Duane’s anxiety reached a level that was intolerable. It was spilling out all over the place. Things with his girlfriend were already shaky, and the job situation was precarious. He wished he could escape for a few hours each night in sleep. He stopped the caffeine hours before bed time, avoided eating after 8:00 p.m. and made his bedroom more ‘sleep friendly’ by removing the laptop and other distracting objects. Herbal teas and hot relaxing baths were worse than useless. Mood music and ‘wave’ machines just irritated him. Read the rest of this entry

By Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D., Anger Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Jeanette and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Louis’ shock turns to disbelief and anger.
The world caved in on Louis when his girlfriend of three years ditched him, complaining he was ‘too needy!’ Louis had been the devoted boyfriend and caretaker. He did whatever she asked no matter what the cost to him. He cut out his friends and family. He stopped playing sports and dropped out of college. When the shock of his rude dismissal from the relationship hit him, he went through a period of disbelief and then he became angry.

Getting zero return on his relationship investment made Louis furious.
Louis had given her his undivided attention, and anticipated her every need. He lost himself in the relationship and was furious that his investment had failed. Louis despondently recalled his fitness routine in the gym and on the basketball court. He remembered the exhilaration of Marshall arts and the fun he had winding down with his mates. He thought of the ease with which he sailed through high school math and science. He could have done a lot with his talents and energy. By rights he ought to be on a stimulating career path, earning good money. But at the age of 26 he was penniless, jobless and rooming with a relative. He was overweight, out of shape and despondent. Read the rest of this entry

By Paul Cohen, LCSW, Aging & Geriatric Issues Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Paul and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

In my experience with psychotherapy with the elderly client in family settings, I’ve found that the ability to facilitate a sustaining positive outcome after long-standing family dysfunction involves two main factors: 1) the client’s emotional constitution (i.e. their ability to accept the fact that maladaptive behavior exists) and 2) the client’s willingness to take the emotional risk of making amends. A third factor is the adult child’s ability to understand the parent’s life journey.

In the course of my work with a 96-year-old woman, “Lilly”, who had recently lost her third husband and her older daughter (aged 70) within six months of each other, it had become clear that I had the task of not only helping her through her bereavement, but also of trying to repair sixty-plus years of undischarged feelings of shame, embarrassment and guilt. These feelings had resulted from the years of routine abuse – mostly emotional but periodically physical – that she had inflicted on her younger 66-year-old-daughter, “Dina”. (The actual names of mother and daughter have been changed.) Read the rest of this entry

By Lynn Somerstein, PhD, RYT, Object Relations Topic Expert Contributor

Click here to contact Lynn and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Susie could tell right away when her father had been drinking – he had extra sparkling eyes, he smiled a lot, he breathed heavy, and he talked non-stop for endless hours. She was supposed to listen to every word, agree real fast and with enthusiasm, and then tell her dad what a great man he was.

This got boring, but when her father was on a jag she was expected to stay right with him every minute; she was not allowed to go to bed just because it was a school night or because it was 2:00 AM and she was tired. Her dad poked her in the ribs if he thought she was nodding off. Read the rest of this entry