Category: Follow the Heart
The Good Therapy Blog
August 4th, 2011 |
Awkward topic, isn’t it? It’s not an area we usually delve into with great confidence or pride. For those of us with chronic illness, the topic of sex can bring up a whole host of emotions: fear, hurt, guilt, sadness, feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. Sure, there are moments of great passion and pleasure but those seem few and far between when our illnesses flare or we’re too exhausted from the events of the day. Adding to the complexities of sex for the chronically... Read More
August 2nd, 2011 |
For people who are dating or dealing with the starting and ending of intimate relationships, a certain question tends to arise... can ex-partners maintain healthy roles in each others’ lives? And if so, when, where, how, and (most obviously) why? Sometimes an ex’s role is clear; for example, a couple who has children together will most likely continue as co-parents in the event of a separation. Other post-breakup scenarios have less obvious answers. Exes can, often... Read More
August 1st, 2011 |
You are in a relationship, but sometimes you feel something in the pit of your stomach that reminds you that you are not happy. You love your partner with all your heart, yet you feel as if you are missing something better. You wonder if something out there just might be more fulfilling, and you begin to think maybe you are just settling for what you have. You live with this feeling and you try not to think about it. You make new friends, go back... Read More
August 1st, 2011 |
A common but not frequently recognized side effect of traumatic life experiences is an excessive harshness towards self, which often times co-exists with a healthy degree of care and concern for others. While this harshness towards self can be expressed in a multitude of ways, a commonality is the existence of different standards – be it the standard regarding fairness, worth, acceptability, love, etc…– for yourself and others; with the standards for self being more stringent,... Read More
July 29th, 2011 |
Imagine you have just been offered a promotion at work. This is great news, right? You'll be making more money, have more status and prestige within your industry and have a whole team of people working under you. Of course, you'll have to relocate to a new state, pulling your partner and children from their work and schools and you'll all be leaving a community where you have a strong support system of family and friends. Many people who find themselves in such a position... Read More
July 29th, 2011 |
If hope is the thing with feathers, as Emily Dickenson said, then trust floats on gossamer wings.
Most people lose that child-like trust with the end of a first love, but not all. I have known a handful of souls who maintained it until death, or appeared to, but it's certainly not the norm. Life intrudes on the fantasy that someone will be an all-loving, supportive parent. Paradoxically, if you had toxic parents, it's even harder to relinquish this desire as yearning for a kinder, gentler life becomes a mission to get what you missed as a child.
Whether trust is broken by an affair, an addiction,... Read More
July 28th, 2011 |
In the United States people who experience discrimination and oppression are often stereotyped as “angry.” For example, the stereotype of the “angry black woman” is reinforced in the popular media over and over and over again. The result of this stereotyping, for people who do experience oppression and discrimination, is a message that they should not be angry. For people of color, ethnic minorities, religious minorities, sexual... Read More
July 27th, 2011 |
It’s a classic. Of all the themes in the history of relational strife, the I’m Right, You’re Wrong story is by far the most common. And like many things common, we often take it for granted or overlook the magnitude of its influence. When couples enter into therapy together, it may be a hidden goal for each of them to convince their therapist that they are right and the other is wrong. They demonstrate this in many ways, either subtly or in more painfully blatant... Read More
July 26th, 2011 |
“Which is harder - mourning an actual loss or mourning the 'ideal' of something you never had?”
This question was recently posted to the wall of my professional services page on a popular social networking site. I thought this was an intriguing question and one you yourself may have pondered in one version or another.
Grief is a natural feeling we have in response to a loss. Many people immediately associate grief with the deaths of those we love, but there are many... Read More
July 25th, 2011 |
It’s a pretty well known fact that ‘happily ever after’ is a concept that is often easier said than done. People still cling to and admire the ideals of a long-term commitment and marriage and with a little effort and cooperation many find that it is actually doable when they have both feet in the relationship, whilst others are finding that finding a new partner is sometimes just easier, and divorcing themselves from their partner and situation makes more... Read More
July 19th, 2011 |
“There has been considerable debate about how affect (moods, emotions, feelings) influences the quality of people’s decisions,” said the authors of a new study that found a link between a person’s positive mood and their ability to make decisions more quickly and more consistently than people with negative moods. Christine M.... Read More
© Copyright 2011 by http://www.GoodTherapy.org Therapist Seattle Bureau - All Rights Reserved.
July 19th, 2011 |
Even when it is unintended, some people find it intolerable to hurt someone they love. To experience hurting the other can create shame, guilt and strong “I am a bad person” feelings. As a result, we may avoid saying what is on our mind and put aside our own feelings and needs. This inhibiting of the self can be harmful to our relationships and can create the conditions for developing anxiety and depression.
Marlene, a 27... Read More
July 18th, 2011 |
Can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know? If you’re like most of us, at some point in your life you had a mad crush on someone you barely knew. It might have been a rock star, an actor, or a super-cute neighbor. Whoever it was, you were totally into them even though you may not have known much about them at all.
But if you actually got to know the person over time, chances are you found out that they were just human beings. They had all kinds of... Read More
July 15th, 2011 |
Congratulations to all of you college grads out there! You made it through four or more years of cramming for tests, writing papers, late nights studying (and other late night activities), hangovers, morning classes, dining hall food or top ramen and boxed macaroni and cheese. You also had a lot of unforgettable experiences, made lifetime friends, learned an amazing amount of material, grew tremendously as a person, became more independent, and perhaps... Read More
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