The Heart of a Play Therapist
Some time ago, I wrote about the spirit of a play therapist—the idea that each of us brings something unique and extraordinary to the play therapy room that is a blend of our own way of being in the world along with the evolving style of play that naturally fits us. As I contemplated this further, I found myself even more in tune with not only the play therapist spirit, but the play therapist heart. I particularly found this while observing my wonderful play therapy colleagues, noticing that there is something quite extraordinary about their hearts, the kind of dedication to children that is... Read More
There are many different paths one can take to healing through Expressive Arts Therapy. Let's begin by looking at a major component of this process, which is allowing the creative process to begin.
Releasing the Creative Spirit
Our healing journey is made possible by opening to our creative process. We invite flow again. We say, “Ah there you are, I’ve missed you.” When flow is permitted, we open a channel to buried treasures just beneath the surface of our unconscious yearning. We wonder why we waited so long to let go to our creative spirit. Perhaps we were bound by obligations, commitments,... 
After 5 years of sobriety, in 1985, I began to notice a pattern in my sexual relationships: Even if I really liked someone, I couldn’t go more than 3 months before my attraction to them fizzled. I would then find some reason to end the relationship, although I never really understood why, and it made me feel bad. Thankfully, while I was leading a weekend retreat on Spirituality in Recovery, one participant pressed for bringing the subject of sex into the process.
Although I was unprepared, it gave me the opportunity to address the issue, and I shared my struggles with the group. When I asked... 
Sometimes people wonder how they will find true love. Partly you have to be ready with open eyes and hearts to see it and act on it when it appears. Then you need to hang out together and make sure it’s really love and not just a flash in the pan. Live your love for awhile, get confident, but don’t take forever before you make it permanent. Like all things, love can spoil or get stale if it doesn’t develop into the full catastrophe of making a life together—picking up socks or cereal in the supermarket, deciding where to go on vacation, or live, or how to spend your money. Whose money?... 
Being considered a “perfect child” by one’s parents feels fantastic. Basking in the glow from parents’ approval and love can feel safe and special, like one is living in a magical world where everyone is happy and satisfied. These feelings are very seductive. The child is usually not aware that they pay a price in order to maintain the parents’ continued extraordinary approval. That price is the giving up of one’s unique sense of self in order to comply and be the child and then the adult that the parents adore. Being kept on a pedestal distracts from being aware that one has wants... 
Toxic friends come in many forms—they can take much more than they add to the friendship; they can be a chronic complainer; they can tear you down—but the bottom line is that when you walk away from time spent with a toxic friend, you probably feel worse for the wear. If you think you might have a toxic friend in your life, take a moment to reflect on how you usually feel after being with this friend; if what you come up with includes words like drained, tired, unmotivated, worthless, or even downright depressed, you quite likely have a toxic friend. While it might be easy to identify the toxic... 
Families need to be together. After all, the family as a group exists to provide support, nurturance, food, shelter, resources, and a stable future to each member. While most families have their ups and downs, even stressed, impoverished, chaotic families want to live with one another. When is it in the family’s best interest for members to separate from one another? Can leaving the family home for a short while ever bring healing to the relationships in the long run?
Family separations occur in American culture in formal and informal ways. Formally, families can legally be ordered to separate... 
“Sam” and “Ellen” have been married for 42 years. They have had a good life together. They’ve raised 4 children and have 11 grandchildren. They’ve had their ups and downs but have always managed to get through the hard times, until now.
Sam’s diagnosis of stage IV prostate cancer has really thrown them for a loop. They’ve just had their first visit with the oncologist, who was very nice and explained things very well. However, out of the entire visit, each of them only really heard one thing. Sam heard that treatment will make him impotent, and Ellen heard that the 5-year survival... 
Last month, one of my readers felt shortchanged by my article on suffering. Not to be defensive about it, but the editors changed my original title [Ed. note: "Suffering" was the original title of November's article]. Nevertheless, perhaps it would be worthwhile to give my suggestions on how to survive painful and difficult periods in our lives whether they are physical, emotional, spiritual, financial or a combination of the above.
Historically, suffering has been viewed through many different lenses. There are those who feel that suffering in this life will be rewarded in the next. Others... 
In many ways it would appear that breaking up is similar to falling in love. I know what you are thinking, and you are right - it’s not quite the same thing. However, in terms of the physiological effects that it has on your mind, psyche and body, it would appear to have quite a significant effect as it can potentially turn your world upside down.
Breakups can throw our worlds into a chaos similar to falling in love, I would suggest. Dr. Helen Fisher wrote a book called Why We Love, and in her book she discussed the chemical changes that actually take place in the human brain and body when... 
Holiday traditions can be excruciatingly difficult for individuals who have experienced traumatic events, and yet finding a way to decrease this difficulty is an often neglected topic. Many individuals take a “grin and bear it” attitude and argue that the holiday season only comes once a year. While the final months of a calendar year do have a large helping of holidays, holidays occur throughout the year, and birthdays and seemingly minor holidays can sometimes be harder than the big ones.
One option would be to turn your back on all holidays and disengage from any such celebrations. Unfortunately... 
Whether you have short term or long terms goals, lifestyle goals such as a healthy diet, exercise, career changes or even finding time for yourself have to become a habit. Like with everything else, repetitive action will yield positive results. Often times, our goals lead to failure because we become frustrated. Sometimes we set long term goals and/or projects with very short term expectations and when they do not come to pass, we simply, out of frustration give up. With no end in sight, we feel as though the light at the end of the tunnel is, in fact, the train coming to hit us. Everything takes... 
How many things can you think of that are free, make people feel better, and empower the giver? I can only come up with a few, and they all involve saying something nice. I’m not suggesting you lie, but if you pay attention, there is almost always something you can find to say that is heartfelt and positive.
Who doesn’t like hearing praise? Whether it is about someone’s style, intellect, taste, talent, wit, car color, organizational skills, sense of humor, creativity, hobby, or anything else they do, you can almost always say something that will make someone’s day and boost their self-esteem.
So,... 
For adult children, going home for the holidays may be problematic. While it can be wonderful to see parents, siblings, and extended family, it can also be an occasion that brings up old, unresolved conflicts. One of the most typical unresolved conflicts is related to separation and individuation: while growing up at home, some children found it difficult to develop and assert their unique individual selves in the face of parents who (though usually well-intentioned) were controlling, critical, and/or hurt by their children’s differences from themselves.
When children leave home and are no... 
