The Price Paid for Being the Perfect Child
Being considered a “perfect child” by one’s parents feels fantastic. Basking in the glow from parents’ approval and love can feel safe and special, like one is living in a magical world where everyone is happy and satisfied. These feelings are very seductive. The child is usually not aware that they pay a price in order to maintain the parents’ continued extraordinary approval. That price is the giving up of one’s unique sense of self in order to comply and be the child and then the adult that the parents adore. Being kept on a pedestal distracts from being aware that one has wants... Read More
Toxic friends come in many forms—they can take much more than they add to the friendship; they can be a chronic complainer; they can tear you down—but the bottom line is that when you walk away from time spent with a toxic friend, you probably feel worse for the wear. If you think you might have a toxic friend in your life, take a moment to reflect on how you usually feel after being with this friend; if what you come up with includes words like drained, tired, unmotivated, worthless, or even downright depressed, you quite likely have a toxic friend. While it might be easy to identify the toxic... 
Families need to be together. After all, the family as a group exists to provide support, nurturance, food, shelter, resources, and a stable future to each member. While most families have their ups and downs, even stressed, impoverished, chaotic families want to live with one another. When is it in the family’s best interest for members to separate from one another? Can leaving the family home for a short while ever bring healing to the relationships in the long run?
Family separations occur in American culture in formal and informal ways. Formally, families can legally be ordered to separate... 
“Sam” and “Ellen” have been married for 42 years. They have had a good life together. They’ve raised 4 children and have 11 grandchildren. They’ve had their ups and downs but have always managed to get through the hard times, until now.
Sam’s diagnosis of stage IV prostate cancer has really thrown them for a loop. They’ve just had their first visit with the oncologist, who was very nice and explained things very well. However, out of the entire visit, each of them only really heard one thing. Sam heard that treatment will make him impotent, and Ellen heard that the 5-year survival... 
Last month, one of my readers felt shortchanged by my article on suffering. Not to be defensive about it, but the editors changed my original title [Ed. note: "Suffering" was the original title of November's article]. Nevertheless, perhaps it would be worthwhile to give my suggestions on how to survive painful and difficult periods in our lives whether they are physical, emotional, spiritual, financial or a combination of the above.
Historically, suffering has been viewed through many different lenses. There are those who feel that suffering in this life will be rewarded in the next. Others... 
In many ways it would appear that breaking up is similar to falling in love. I know what you are thinking, and you are right - it’s not quite the same thing. However, in terms of the physiological effects that it has on your mind, psyche and body, it would appear to have quite a significant effect as it can potentially turn your world upside down.
Breakups can throw our worlds into a chaos similar to falling in love, I would suggest. Dr. Helen Fisher wrote a book called Why We Love, and in her book she discussed the chemical changes that actually take place in the human brain and body when... 
Holiday traditions can be excruciatingly difficult for individuals who have experienced traumatic events, and yet finding a way to decrease this difficulty is an often neglected topic. Many individuals take a “grin and bear it” attitude and argue that the holiday season only comes once a year. While the final months of a calendar year do have a large helping of holidays, holidays occur throughout the year, and birthdays and seemingly minor holidays can sometimes be harder than the big ones.
One option would be to turn your back on all holidays and disengage from any such celebrations. Unfortunately... 
Whether you have short term or long terms goals, lifestyle goals such as a healthy diet, exercise, career changes or even finding time for yourself have to become a habit. Like with everything else, repetitive action will yield positive results. Often times, our goals lead to failure because we become frustrated. Sometimes we set long term goals and/or projects with very short term expectations and when they do not come to pass, we simply, out of frustration give up. With no end in sight, we feel as though the light at the end of the tunnel is, in fact, the train coming to hit us. Everything takes... 
How many things can you think of that are free, make people feel better, and empower the giver? I can only come up with a few, and they all involve saying something nice. I’m not suggesting you lie, but if you pay attention, there is almost always something you can find to say that is heartfelt and positive.
Who doesn’t like hearing praise? Whether it is about someone’s style, intellect, taste, talent, wit, car color, organizational skills, sense of humor, creativity, hobby, or anything else they do, you can almost always say something that will make someone’s day and boost their self-esteem.
So,... 
For adult children, going home for the holidays may be problematic. While it can be wonderful to see parents, siblings, and extended family, it can also be an occasion that brings up old, unresolved conflicts. One of the most typical unresolved conflicts is related to separation and individuation: while growing up at home, some children found it difficult to develop and assert their unique individual selves in the face of parents who (though usually well-intentioned) were controlling, critical, and/or hurt by their children’s differences from themselves.
When children leave home and are no... 
I don’t know anyone who is not feeling greater stress during this time of year. Even terrific moments with people we love can cause us stress, and that’s if family and extended family are individuals we WANT to see. It’s even more stressful if we are acting out of obligation.
Whatever your circumstances, it’s likely there will be at least a few people who drive us up a wall and cause us enormous stress. Welcome to the holidays. Not to mention the numerous details: buying gifts, decorating, baking, cooking sending cards, and trying to be a loving person on top of all that.
I’m... 
"The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
-Sydney J. Harris
Feel any tension this time of year? How do you and your partner handle holiday stress? Does it bring you closer or drive you apart?
You may have more control than you think; but only if you realize that you can take charge. Here are some strategies that will help you get started:
1) Observe your self-talk – Pay attention to the thoughts running through your mind; are they positive or negative? Our perception is the one thing we can always change. When you are feeling stressed, ask yourself, “How can I look at... 
During a recent staff workshop at my school, the presenter shocked and confounded most of the crowd when she used the word “pansexual”. Most of the teachers in the room had never before heard this term. “Bisexual” they could wrap their heads around: someone sexually attracted to people of both genders. But pansexual... someone sexually attracted to people of all genders? A handful of the workshop participants were unable to resist scratching their heads and looking around quizzically.
The truth is, there are scads of people who do not identify solely as male/masculine or female/feminine.... 
I don’t know about you, but today, unplanned items on my agenda added up to distractions that resulted in an overwhelming urge to tear my hair out. As often happens, I had loaded way more into my schedule than could be accomplished by a reasonable person within a day. It’s now 7:40 pm DST and I’m feeling grateful that the destination for this article is 3 hours behind my time zone; therefore, my missive will officially arrive in time, by sheer luck.
Sound familiar? It is, at least occasionally, for most of us. t’s the result of what I call “being mindless”, a condition caused... 
