Shouting, yelling, screaming. Nearly all parents have done it; nearly all children age 10 and under have heard it. In small doses, such as in emergencies, yelling is not believed to be harmful. Yet, as common as this interaction is within families, if it happens too often it can break down positive conflict-management skills and flood a family’s... Read More
Counselors and their work are changing and developing constantly. Some counselors are choosing to work in one particular area of home-based counseling with children and families. These families are comprised of varying cultural and socio-economic status. Because working with these families is often inconsistent, sporadic, or engaged in crisis, the traits of a professional working in this area include positive “rapport, warmth,... Read More
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One-third of high school students have heard somebody say he or she will kill someone. One-seventh of high school students seriously considered committing suicide. Eighty percent of teen pregnancies are unintended. Forty-three percent of teens have been bullied... Read More
History repeats itself, especially in our psychological lives and in our relationships.
Although this fact has been recognized for millennia, one of its earliest formulations in the field of psychology is called repetition compulsion. According to Freud (1914) repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats a traumatic event or its circumstances over and over again, either in real life or in dreams.
Does this idea resonate with you? Are there patterns you tend to repeat... Read More
Surprisingly, studies show that some of the seemingly less dramatic kinds of experiences, such as neglect, in childhood actually do more harm than overt abuse such as physical violence. Neglect isn’t talked about as much as physical, sexual, or even verbal abuse, and depressed adults who experienced neglect in their childhoods often wonder why they’re depressed.
Even when people think about neglect, they picture parents who are... Read More
There is nothing like bringing home a close friend or partner to shine a spotlight on the unspoken rules by which every family, your family, lived and lives.
Every family that lives with one another for some time develops a set of patterns for emotional engagement that soon feels like the “family rules.” These expectations for behavior may start within a marriage and strengthen their grip as children are brought into the... Read More
Family burden is a term that encompasses all of the challenges that may exist for an individual who lives with someone who has experienced a significant illness, particularly a long-term illness. Even if the illness does not require that the family member provide care for their loved one, the emotional toll that the illness can have on the family is part of the overall burden. Additionally, any caregiving responsibilities and financial, relational, and personal effects are considered part of family burden. Because... Read More
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Boy, what a stressful situation this must be for everyone. I think your concerns about your children and desires to keep them safe are perfectly normal—and warranted, given the erratic and “disruptive” behavior of your (ex?) husband, which apparently includes visits to jail and mental hospitals. I think the first thing, if you haven’t thought of this already, is to make sure any potential visits (even if Dad is “on his meds” and reportedly doing OK) are strictly supervised. Perhaps the most appropriate thing, if/when he is again permitted to have visits with the children, is to ensure... Read More
Children are a product of their environments. Just as children who are brought up in loving, supportive, and caring environments are more likely to behavior that way as adults, children who are brought up in fear, anger, and hostility have a higher chance of experiencing similar environments in adulthood. But does this same theory apply to acoustic and physical chaos? Syeda Shamama-tus-Sabah of the National Institute of Psychology at... Read More
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According to sociobiology, genetic preservation is at the core of human behavior. Because it is inherent in our genetic structure to ensure survival, individuals are predisposed to take measures to guarantee their genetic survival. In other words, they favor strategies and methods that will increase the likelihood of their family lineage being carried on. This is done through positive and negative methods. Positively, people have children so that their genetic tree can be extended to further generations. Negative... Read More
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Visions of winning the lottery are enough to turn just about anyone into a dreamer who fantasizes about helping family members, starting charities, and—of course—buying a few nice cars and homes. But a 2006 study published in the Journal of Health Economics found that while lottery winners experience extreme happiness after winning, their happiness levels return to pre-lottery levels not long after.
For some lottery winners, winning the jackpot leads to utter misery. Bankruptcies, divorce, family troubles, and... Read More
When my son is sick, it is not really me that he wants; he wants his daddy. If I want to snuggle with him, or to give him his medicine or juice or crackers, my son will say, “No, Daddy do it.” For whatever reason, he wants his daddy to tend to his needs when he’s ill. He may say similar things when he’s well, but both Daddy and I can help him and he definitely loves to help us.
There are times I feel sad that my son does not want me when he’s sick, but I know it’s nothing that I have done to make him feel that I can’t take care of him. My husband feels like he can’t do anything... Read More
A GoodTherapy.org member since August 2012, Erika Myers has been a steady contributor to The Good Therapy Blog in recent months, sharing her wisdom about parenting amid divorce, for example, and advocating for a “benign neglect” approach to parenting... Read More
Some people come to therapy full of negativity and anger toward parents whom they hold responsible for the way they feel and the lives they live. For example, they might explain their difficulties in relationships by referring to a parent’s emotional coldness, criticalness, or divorce. Or they will fault a parent’s lack of encouragement and involvement when they were growing up for their failure to do well academically or professionally. Blaming parents for their struggles keeps these people stuck in ... Read More
