Managing, Replenishing, and Growing Your Energy Levels
All too often, a lingering impact of traumatic experiences—particularly ongoing/frequent traumatic events in childhood—is that energy levels become compromised; meaning that you simply do not have enough energy to tackle certain tasks. Not only do you not have enough energy, but often times the traumatic experiences also prevented you from being taught how to manage your energy levels—everything from recognizing when you are running low to knowing how to build your energy reservoir, as well as stamina.
Before looking further at this issue depth, take a quick moment and think about all... Read More
The process of trauma recovery includes developing a narrative to one’s history, compartmentalizing who is accountable for what, and integrating old material into a new paradigm. Intrafamilial abuse, particularly child abuse, is often layered and complex. The locus of the early stages of the work tends to be the perpetrator of physical, sexual, or emotional injury; however, throughout the progression those who failed to protect slowly come into focus. Survivors express uncertainty around the parent who did not harm them but did not protect them either. As therapists, our energy is directed towards... 
Individuals who live in high-crime communities may experience more fear than those who live in communities with lower crime rates. Fear of crime and 
I’m a big fan of analogies and metaphors. When I think about eating disorders and recovery, analogies and metaphors often form in my mind, and I use them to describe and explain the process of the development of and recovery from a disordered relationship with food and the body. I’ve developed quite a supply of them, but I’ve never written them down—until now.
Here are some of the analogies that I’ve created over the years. I hope you find them helpful.
Video Game
Recovery is like playing a video game. In a video game, you start out with little experience or skill, and you eventually... 
As humans, we are wired to be connected. We are an interdependent species, which means we cannot survive alone. This is why relationships are such an important part of our lives and crucial to our well-being. This is also why dysfunctional relationships can take a toll on our self-esteem and quality of life. When was the last time you really took the time to examine your relationships? To do so, ask yourself the following questions:
How important is this relationship in my life?
How much trust do I have in this person?
How much do I invest in this relationship?
How much does this person invest... 
Everybody has attachments to specific people in their lives. When young, people are attached to their caregivers. As they mature, people may develop strong attachments to mentors, coaches, close friends, and even intimate partners. In adulthood, one of the most significant attachment figures an individual has is that person’s spouse, or committed romantic partner. Attachment relationships can be positive or negative. Strong, loving relationships are deemed positive attachments and promote harmony, respect, and individuality. Emotionally abusive, intimidating, and violent relationships can create... 
Existing research has identified a clear link between depression and stress in children of depressed mothers. Additionally, research has shown that stressful environmental conditions can also increase the chance of 
The word bridezilla has become an oft-used part of our lexicon, and many people who have never been married are confused by the panic and stress that seems to surround wedding planning. But a newly engaged couple quickly learns that the stress of wedding planning is not the overexaggerated fantasy of people who simply have no stress tolerance. Wedding planning is stressful for almost everyone, and yet people never stop to think about why this is. Here’s what is really going on.
Expectations vs. Reality
A wedding is a major rite of passage, and many people—especially women—have been raised... 
When I am asked about anxiety and where it comes from, I remind people that it is so important to look into one's past to see how past events can play a role as well. Things that may have happened years before can definitely lead to present (and future) issues, as well as leave us to doubt our ability at times ( a la "will I truly be able to manage these new tasks at work," or "will people really be there for me as my relationships have not gone the way I have wanted. I'm not so sure"). This uncertainty can create a great deal of anxiety and doubt.
Psychologist Charles Bentley eloquently describes... 
Your social life, the quality of it, was wired into your gray matter by the age of 3, according to current thinking on child development. After a minute of contemplating that statement, the immense impact of early childhood caregivers becomes clear. This subject comes to mind after reading a recent news story about Artyom Saleviev.
Artyom was first in the news in 2010. He is the Russian boy who was adopted by a U.S. couple, the Hansens, 3 years ago. After being part of the Hansen family for 5 months, Artyom was put on a plane bound for Russia by his adoptive mother. Artyom carried a letter which... 
What if the state of our economy is not due solely to some harmful people making some horribly destructive moves with their wallets and ours?
Evocative question, I know.
It is not intended to, nor does it, let off the hook those who did purposefully seduce and scam people into buying houses, investing their money, spending money they didn’t have or couldn’t afford to spend. Nor does it give a free pass to Ponzi schemers and others like them.
However … what if the real cause of the world economy right now is broader and deeper than most people realize? What if the real cause is... 
Foster care providers face challenges that most caregivers never experience. Children placed in their care come with a history of negative experiences that can include neglect, sexual abuse, violence, emotional unavailability, mental abuse, verbal abuse, exposure to drug and alcohol use, and other traumatic events. These children often lack the basic skills necessary to develop healthy relationships with caregivers and cannot interact in empathetic and understanding ways with peers and others. Because these children had impaired 
Healthy conflict resolution is essential to maintaining positive and constructive adult relationships. Individuals usually learn how to handle conflict in childhood. Children watch the way adults work through disagreements and model those patterns of behavior as they develop into adults and begin to form relationships with others. The bonds that children have with their caregivers also influence the way in which they address conflicts. People who have secure attachments with their parents and caregivers are often able to work through challenges with other people in respectful, affectionate, and... 
Most of you as clinicians, and likely some among you as prospective clients and curious readers, have heard of dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT). In a nutshell, this is a psychotherapeutic modality focusing on behaviors that are not helpful in getting one's needs met in relationships and life at large and are often destructive. My sense is that the focus in this form of therapy is not the cognitive component, or core beliefs, that drive these behaviors but rather the behaviors that are negatively impacting a client's life. It is my intention, and my passion and heart's desire as a psychotherapist,... 
