Comments on: Aggressive Children May Stem from Controlling Parents http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/ Exploring Healthy Psychotherapy Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:05:28 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Jordan http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-21516 Jordan Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:56:00 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=4364#comment-21516 Score another point in the nature column. Parents, this is the kind of message that we need to see that the things we do and allow our kids to see really do have a profound impact on the people that they grow up to be! Score another point in the nature column. Parents, this is the kind of message that we need to see that the things we do and allow our kids to see really do have a profound impact on the people that they grow up to be!

]]> By: Stefen http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-21498 Stefen Fri, 11 Sep 2009 17:37:17 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=4364#comment-21498 As a parent, I have found out,like many others, that kids do the things they are asked not to do, and the probability of them doing those things increases as we persuade them more and more to stay away from those things. Funny it may seem to be, but it is a fact. Explanation with love and care helps more than strict controlling measures in my opinion. As a parent, I have found out,like many others, that kids do the things they are asked not to do, and the probability of them doing those things increases as we persuade them more and more to stay away from those things. Funny it may seem to be, but it is a fact. Explanation with love and care helps more than strict controlling measures in my opinion.

]]> By: Jan Mullen LCSW http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-21489 Jan Mullen LCSW Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:57:52 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=4364#comment-21489 Hi, It is my sense of children, as well as adults, that we are meant, at our core, to be peaceful. In the Internal Family Systems model, it is felt that our core Self has inherent qualities of calmness and compassion. I find it most helpful to approach a situation in which a child is aggressive, not as one where they have a natural aggression which needs to be curbed, but as 'why has this child felt the need to be aggressive'? Following that will lead in a different direction, one of helping the child to work through the underlying fears and hurts which lead to aggression, so he may find his peaceful inner self. The highly acclaimed approach to child rearing, Love and Logic, makes a strong argument against seeing the role of parents as policemen. In doing that, parents train their children to always expect external control, rather than believe that they can mature into having internal controls to organize and regulate their emotional lives. in peace, Jan Lombard, Illinois Hi,

It is my sense of children, as well as adults, that we are meant, at our core, to be peaceful. In the Internal Family Systems model, it is felt that our core Self has inherent qualities of calmness and compassion. I find it most helpful to approach a situation in which a child is aggressive, not as one where they have a natural aggression which needs to be curbed, but as ‘why has this child felt the need to be aggressive’? Following that will lead in a different direction, one of helping the child to work through the underlying fears and hurts which lead to aggression, so he may find his peaceful inner self.

The highly acclaimed approach to child rearing, Love and Logic, makes a strong argument against seeing the role of parents as policemen. In doing that, parents train their children to always expect external control, rather than believe that they can mature into having internal controls to organize and regulate their emotional lives.

in peace,

Jan
Lombard, Illinois

]]> By: LaScala http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/aggressive-children-may-stem-from-controlling-parents/comment-page-1/#comment-21452 LaScala Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:14:39 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=4364#comment-21452 I think that's all about boundaries. Children know when and where they can get away with doing things in a certain way and when they can't, just like adults. The guy who would scream at his wife over something isn't going to do the same thing to a policeman that pulls him over unless he's wanting locked up. I think that’s all about boundaries. Children know when and where they can get away with doing things in a certain way and when they can’t, just like adults. The guy who would scream at his wife over something isn’t going to do the same thing to a policeman that pulls him over unless he’s wanting locked up.

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