Comments on: A Unique Learning About Power http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/ Exploring Healthy Psychotherapy Fri, 10 Feb 2012 01:06:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Judith Barr http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-21120 Judith Barr Sat, 05 Sep 2009 00:45:23 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-21120 To Kylie: Being “a giver” is a wonderful thing and the compassion you have for others is touching! Sometimes, though, in helping others in struggles they need to undergo (particularly struggles of the heart and mind,) we can actually be preventing them from growing and transforming in ways that can be beneficial for them. Another example could be a parent, who, rather than guiding a child through a difficult homework assignment and giving them the support and assistance they need, will actually do the homework for them. It is often similar when we see or experience another in emotional pain: rather than being a support and guide in his/her time of healing, we may (from a fear of what his/her pain brings up in ourselves) attempt to immediately “relieve” the pain by teaching him/her to “manage” or “control” the painful feelings, or to distract him/her from the feelings, or, in extreme cases, advise him/her to medicate the feelings away. Much like the child who hadn’t done his/her homework, who has learned nothing and will now have to struggle twice as hard in school, this person now has healed nothing, and will have to struggle twice as hard to manage these feelings as they rise again and again. . . until they are finally brought to the time of healing. Hope this helps you in becoming an even better “giver”! To Kylie: Being “a giver” is a wonderful thing and the compassion you have for others is touching!
Sometimes, though, in helping others in struggles they need to undergo (particularly struggles of the heart and mind,) we can actually be preventing them from growing and transforming in ways that can be beneficial for them. Another example could be a parent, who, rather than guiding a child through a difficult homework assignment and giving them the support and assistance they need, will actually do the homework for them. It is often similar when we see or experience another in emotional pain: rather than being a support and guide in his/her time of healing, we may (from a fear of what his/her pain brings up in ourselves) attempt to immediately “relieve” the pain by teaching him/her to “manage” or “control” the painful feelings, or to distract him/her from the feelings, or, in extreme cases, advise him/her to medicate the feelings away. Much like the child who hadn’t done his/her homework, who has learned nothing and will now have to struggle twice as hard in school, this person now has healed nothing, and will have to struggle twice as hard to manage these feelings as they rise again and again. . . until they are finally brought to the time of healing. Hope this helps you in becoming an even better “giver”!

]]> By: Judith Barr http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-21075 Judith Barr Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:03:31 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-21075 Thank you all for your insightful and enheartening comments in response to this article. So true, that often when we try to “help” we end up hurting…and I am so glad to hear that it sparked insights in each of you and inspired you to keep this in your mind and heart while helping those in your lives! Thank you all for your insightful and enheartening comments in response to this article. So true, that often when we try to “help” we end up hurting…and I am so glad to hear that it sparked insights in each of you and inspired you to keep this in your mind and heart while helping those in your lives!

]]> By: Seth http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-21042 Seth Wed, 02 Sep 2009 11:47:56 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-21042 Good article!! Power is such a complex thing. I dont think I know anyone including myself who doesnt like to enjoy the power of exercising their opinion. Good article!! Power is such a complex thing. I dont think I know anyone including myself who doesnt like to enjoy the power of exercising their opinion.

]]> By: Kylie http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-21000 Kylie Tue, 01 Sep 2009 11:11:38 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-21000 I wish I didnt know that one. I dont know whether I totally agree with that. I think helping people is a far better thing to do than sit back and watch them struggle. Yes it becomes a double-edged sword but I am still a giver. I wish I didnt know that one. I dont know whether I totally agree with that. I think helping people is a far better thing to do than sit back and watch them struggle. Yes it becomes a double-edged sword but I am still a giver.

]]> By: Jonathan http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-20969 Jonathan Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:41:59 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-20969 this was the most awesome revelation about the misuse of power I've read. I think misplaced charity is just that - misplaced. this was the most awesome revelation about the misuse of power I’ve read. I think misplaced charity is just that – misplaced.

]]> By: Brandi http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-20961 Brandi Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:41:20 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-20961 oh my goodness that made me fill up. I wish silence came easily to me. Thanks for sharing the story Judith. oh my goodness that made me fill up. I wish silence came easily to me. Thanks for sharing the story Judith.

]]> By: themuse http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-20946 themuse Sun, 30 Aug 2009 19:36:43 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-20946 This story makes me wonder how often I've hurt when I intended to heal... I'll think before I speak more now. This story makes me wonder how often I’ve hurt when I intended to heal… I’ll think before I speak more now.

]]> By: Amy http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-20936 Amy Sat, 29 Aug 2009 23:12:00 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-20936 That is a beautiful story. sharing with everyone that I know so that the circle of learning a powerful lesosn will continue even for people who are not reading on this site. That is a beautiful story. sharing with everyone that I know so that the circle of learning a powerful lesosn will continue even for people who are not reading on this site.

]]> By: Lacey http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-20924 Lacey Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:55:25 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-20924 I'm a compassionate person and do my best to help people when I see them hurting. I never considered that it could be interfering with what they needed to do for themselves, at their own pace. Thank you for the food for thought Judith. I’m a compassionate person and do my best to help people when I see them hurting. I never considered that it could be interfering with what they needed to do for themselves, at their own pace.

Thank you for the food for thought Judith.

]]> By: Grace http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/a-unique-learning-about-power/#comment-20923 Grace Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:27:20 +0000 http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/?p=3547#comment-20923 This is a beautiful story. It actually brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of a story from my childhood very similar to this little girl's. It really does seem like we as a society have a great fear of feeling, whether it's happy or sad or whatever, we try so hard to dull down our feelings about ourselves and others however we can, recently it seems like medication is the big thing. No one wants to feel anymore, so they get a doctors note. This is a beautiful story. It actually brought a tear to my eye and reminded me of a story from my childhood very similar to this little girl’s. It really does seem like we as a society have a great fear of feeling, whether it’s happy or sad or whatever, we try so hard to dull down our feelings about ourselves and others however we can, recently it seems like medication is the big thing. No one wants to feel anymore, so they get a doctors note.

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