June 12th, 2008 |
Have you ever been told a person has to "hit bottom" before they can begin to recover? What do you suppose that even means? Exactly what is “hitting bottom?”
Do you suppose it's really a good idea to wait until you're divorced, or bankrupt, and/or facing another DUI before looking for an answer to your drinking problem? We don't think so.
The concept of waiting to hit bottom isn't just useless – it’s dangerous. How? Consider how that tenet would play out in the case of a real disease, cancer.
“Well, you know,”... Read More
June 11th, 2008 |
I knew, several months ago, that I would write about April being Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Nevertheless, after the short amount of time that it took to write it, the original article sits, alone in my office trashcan, tossed aside. The cold hard facts about sexual assault, the statistics, they all had their place. They cried out like an overwhelmingly loud and obnoxious alarm clock, desperately trying to wake you as you slumber peacefully. But you see, statistics always do. Numbers always do. Facts always do. We hear them every day... Read More
June 10th, 2008 |
Fusion is defined as the desire for two people to merge into one another in personal relationships, and refers to an immature connection to the other fueled by a fear of separation. The desire for this type of connection is motivated in part by an unconscious fantasy of bliss through unity. Eric Fromm in ‘The Art of Loving’ talks about immature love being like the symbiotic relationship between mother and infant. Perhaps it is a desire to retreat into a safe haven... Read More
June 3rd, 2008 |
As a family psychologist, I’ve found a common concern parents have about their children, even more common than the ubiquitous Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), is “disrespect.” From talking back to “having an attitude” to refusing to listen, disrespect is often at the top of the problem list parents bring to my office. I typically search for ways to move “disrespect” down the list some.
It’s difficult to suggest putting the topic off until later, because respect is important, very important. But... Read More
June 2nd, 2008 |
Following last month’s brief notes about Altruism and the Soul, this piece focuses on the development of morality and the ethical values and behaviors that accompany this developmental process. Part III will talk about the Power Paradox and its relationship to the Power Differential. The Power Differential, as mentioned in an earlier column, is the foundation for the need for ethical codes and guidelines for people in professional positions of power and authority. The Power Paradox derives from research pointing to the need for... Read More
