by Rhoda J. Lipscomb, MSC, DAACS

Click here to contact Rhoda and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

Recently it has become more commonplace to have clients come into my office and state that they have a sex addiction. Often when asked how this was diagnosed they respond that their spouse or other family member told them or they read a book and self-diagnosed. Sometimes when examined more closely, the client does not have a sexual problem at all, just a higher than average sex drive well as living in a sex negative environment.

Many sexologists are beginning to speak out about the attitude that promotes the current level of misunderstanding about problematic sexual behavior. Many practitioners would condone a client who watched 3 hours of reality shows on prime time as normal, while someone who views an hour or two of porn on the internet as an addict. Could both people be spending their leisure time more productively? Absolutely, however if both are able to be productive in their jobs and relationships, then why would some view the latter as problematic?

No one denies that sex, like many other things, can become compulsive, problematic behavior. As some would say, sex is like Jell-O in the refrigerator, it takes on the flavor of whatever you put with it. Sex can be sacred, loving, kind, healing and fun if that is the focus. It can also be hurtful, coercive, demeaning, or wounding. Read the rest of this entry

by Jaelline Jaffe, PhD

Click here to contact Jaelline and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

There is an old Chinese proverb: “Tell me, I forget. Show me, I remember. Involve me, I understand.” Kids are often visual and kinesthetic learners. Talking at them, or even with them, is usually not nearly as effective as getting them involved in something concrete, before going to the abstract.

In conducting a counseling program for adolescents, I hear an unfortunate number of them talk about their lives as if they are over. This girl feels like a failure because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. That boy is drinking and using heavily. Those over there are running with a tagging crew or a gang. Some cannot imagine living to age 25.

Because so many kids are stronger in visual and kinesthetic intelligences than in verbal or mathematical, I find it is much easier to connect with them and to get an idea across if they can see it and experience it, than if they just hear it. In group or individually, I ask them, “Who is the oldest person in your family?” or “How old was your grandpa when he died?” The answer usually is around 75. Read the rest of this entry

by David Walton Earle, LPC

Click here to contact David and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

Why was the TV show, Seinfeld so popular? A sitcom that was self declared about “nothing’ yet so funny, why? In the episodes, the characters never said what they really meant, were emotionally dishonest, and often played head games. Could it be the reality was life-like and in its exaggerated form, we laugh at ourselves? Was Jerry and company’s coping skills really working for them or is there a better way?

Have you ever been so mad at your employer that you did something to get even? Being late for a meeting, talking about them behind their back, being overly critical, not doing your best, spreading gossip, or taking extended lunch breaks; these are example of acting-out behavior. Where does this behavior originate and what can management do about it?

During times of conflict, there are several methods of expression; such as being aggressive, passive, passive-aggressive, or assertive. Some of these behaviors destroy relationships; only one style strengthens them; suitable for personal as well as work place environments. Read the rest of this entry

by John Gerson, Ph.D.

Click here to contact John and/or see his GoodTherapy.org Profile

I’d like to begin with the following vignette. It’s fictional, but contains communication snafu’s that, although probably unintentional, can be wounding. How the wound is dealt with can determine if its effects are short-lived or if they become part of the catalog of complaints that one spouse holds and remembers about the other.

“Kitty and Joe, both in the early 40’s, have been married for 15 years, and have 2 children, Cathy, age 12, and her younger brother, Bobby, age 8. B0th Kitty and Joe are attorneys; Kitty works part time for a local corporation, and Joe works full time in his family’s law practice. They are generally a thoughtful, cooperative couple, and after Cathy’s birth, found that the increased stress and demands placed on both of them made their cooperation with each other even more important. Their relationship is strong, and its durability has rested on their usually being mature and above all, conscious of their own behavior and how it affects their partner.

Recently, however, stress has mounted. Joe’s law practice has suffered an economic downturn; fewer and fewer litigation cases are coming into the firm, and although Joe’s compensation is not yet being affected, he’s worried. Cathy continues her part-time corporate job. She’s is as yet personally unaffected by the slowing economy, but she is aware that the company has been considering laying off less essential personnel. In short, both husband and wife are somewhat worried; their sleep is being affected, and Joe, the spouse more inclined to somaticize his stress, that is, to put it into his body, has had bouts of diarrhea and headache. Read the rest of this entry

By Jennifer B Baxt, LMFT, LMHC

While it is understandable that most people have a natural tendency to feel uncomfortable with their own aging and mortality, there are a few in the crowd who are horrified by the natural process to the point of having a phobia. The phobia where people are terrified of aging is called gerascophobia. Though, to say it is simply a fear of growing old can be a little deceiving. Gerascophobia is perhaps more the fear of what can happen to a person when they grow old. It could mean a loss of independence they value, the wrinkles they will develop, the loss of hair (mostly in the case of men), any diseases that can come from aging, or even a retirement they don’t know what to do with. For many people, these thoughts briefly cross their mind and are quickly brushed away with reasoning; aging is a natural process that happens to everyone and they will deal with it when the time comes. Unfortunately, for the few who suffer gerascophobia, it is something that brings on anxiety and fear about something they really don’t have any control over. Perhaps the lack of control is one of the major worries for these individuals as well; a lack of control whether they will end up in a nursing home, for example. Read the rest of this entry