Archive for August, 2007
The Good Therapy Blog
August 30th, 2007 |
Traveling in Thailand meant adapting to changes. Like every other human, I find that difficult. I expected to miss the big things in my American routine: brewed coffee and toilets that you can sit down on. I was caught off guard by my strong reaction to the little changes. The Thai lack of napkins made every meal a little uncomfortable.
My “good girl” habit of placing my napkin neatly in my lap is apparently indelibly ingrained in my soul. I found myself plastering my lap with Kleenex, anything, so that I could get on with my meal. On one sordid occasion, I sunk as low as toilet paper.
As... Read More
August 30th, 2007 |
Defensive behavior is one of the leading causes of on-going painful conflicts within a relationship, the type which can lead to long term damage. Defensive behavior sends the message to your partner that their experiences and ideas are wrong, and that you are in the right. However, as you may have seen, in these situations, a well meaning defense can quickly turn into a battle where each side is unwilling to give in.
The Communication Battle Attack: History is full of those moments when a true defense was necessary.... Read More
August 27th, 2007 |
In 1992 after Hurricane Andrew hit south Florida on August 24, 1992 I contributed to an article a list of art activities that children could do at home to help them process their thoughts and feelings after their hurricane experience that year. The activities are still relevant today, but not only as a way to process a hurricane experience but to prepare for one by taking a more proactive approach. The activities in the original article were listed and categorized under the following headings. Read More
August 23rd, 2007 |
Growing up as a Catholic child and teenager in Germany some sixty years ago I learned about original sin. I was told that I and every other human being inherited the mark of original sin from Adam and Eve because of their disobedience to God’s command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Actually, in German, original sin is called Erbsünde, which means “inherited sin”. (An aside: The word Erbsünde also contains the German word Erbse which means “pea”, and for many years of my childhood I visualized my original sin as a pea-sized growth on my soul.) As... Read More
August 22nd, 2007 |
Among the worst experiences a lover or spouse can endure is discovering that their partner either is having or has had an affair. The sense of betrayal is so powerful that one does not think it is possible to ever get over it...ever. Someone who feels betrayed may experience a wide array of emotions ranging from deep sadness to severe depression to murderous rage, and everything in between. There is no correct set of feelings appropriate to this universal... Read More
August 22nd, 2007 |
• Share important information with the therapist after your child’s session. Only share information with the therapist before the session if it will directly affect your child’s therapy for that day. Also, telling your child to “be sure to tell your therapist” about an issue puts pressure on the child and may seem like punishment.
• Children are allowed more freedom in therapy than they are at home. This is okay. There is no such thing as “bad” behavior in therapy. Children quickly learn that there are different rules in different... Read More
August 19th, 2007 |
Not feeling “grounded” often walks hand in hand with stress, and may be a signal for a need to connect with yourself and achieve balance. In its extreme, not being grounded is most familiar for those with histories of trauma which can lead to “dissociation.”
With this in mind, if you are a survivor of any kind of abuse, or a therapist working with survivors, knowledge of dissociation and grounding skills is key to the healing journey.
The Lens
Even if... Read More
August 19th, 2007 |
Bioenergetics is a form of psychodynamic psychotherapy that combines work with the body and mind to help people result their emotional problems and realize more of their potential for pleasure injoy in living.
Bioenergetics psychotherapists believe that there is a correlation between the mind in the body. What affects the body affects the mind; in what affects the mind affects the body. The psychological defenses when uses to handle pain and stress... Read More
August 17th, 2007 |
Abstract
This paper describes a specific approach to group therapy that is carried out within the context of a Gestalt orientation. It begins with a brief history of how the particular approach described here evolved. Then come a description of elements to pay attention to in the composition such a group, followed by a brief statement of the orientation given to each new member. Then five ground rules for the group process are presented. A central distinguishing principle of this kind of group is that participants agree to devote their attention and efforts to experiences that directly pertain... Read More
August 15th, 2007 |
Let’s face it, we all want to avoid making the same mistakes raising our kids we believe our parents or surrogate parents made raising us. This is especially the case when we still hold grudges toward parents for what has or has not become of us. Under this historical cloud, we know yet may not admit to the old adage: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” What this adage speaks to is the IMPOSSIBILITY of NEVER being like the parents we recall as having “screwed us up.” As much as we swear that we will never treat our kids the way we were treated, the moments inevitably arise when... Read More
August 14th, 2007 |
One day, you go into your son’s room and to your surprise, you find that missing can of whipped cream under his bed. You think to yourself, “That’s odd.”
Out of your daughter’s backpack falls the can of paint thinner you used three years ago when you remodeled the kitchen and has since been sitting out in the garage among the other discarded tools and supplies. You then ponder, “Is she in art class this semester?”
If something like this has happened to you, your kid may very well... Read More
August 12th, 2007 |
As summer draws to a close you may be relieved to have all your children's school supplies and clothes ready, but have you done all you can to prepare them for everything they face at school?
Now, on the heels of the Catholic Priest sexual abuse scandal comes another of historic proportions—one that has the potential to be much greater and far-reaching. According to a draft report commissioned by the U.S. Department of Education, in compliance with the 2002 "No Child Left Behind" act signed into law by President Bush, between 6 and... Read More
August 12th, 2007 |
After what was hopefully at least a 2-year courtship, you now find yourself engaged. You’re excited and nervous as the big day approaches. You think you’ve got all the important questions asked and answered. Are the guests seated properly? Did we give the florist a deposit? Are all the relatives travel and lodging arrangements finalized? Has everything been done that needs to be done? While these are all important questions, many people fail to take the time to ask themselves key questions about how their life will change... Read More
August 12th, 2007 |
Just as your automobile needs regular care and maintenance, so does your relationship. Many couples ignore warning lights and other signs that their relationship is falling apart and is in need of a service call. They know something’s wrong, but ignore the problem(s) thinking it will go away. Following this philosophy with your car leads to expensive and time consuming repairs. The same viewpoint holds true for relationships—ignore the warning signs and you’ll soon find yourself in a therapist's “repair shop” with a long overhaul ahead.
As a psychotherapist... Read More
